It is increasingly clear to me that lying has become an acceptable thing to do in our culture.  People do it to avoid consequences, to impress others, to get jobs, to make friends and various other things.  But in the end, sooner or later, the truth wins out.  Deception is not okay.  The gravity of each instance varies by the seriousness of the infraction, but eventually it becomes clear that the claim that was made, was in fact, a lie.

We all know what it feels like when one has been at the receiving end of a lie.  You can feel like a fool for believing the falsehood.  You can feel betrayed.  You can be angry.  You can be deeply hurt or even feel stupid.  But it’s always important to remember that this was not your mistake.  The one who lied is the one who is responsible, the one who is at fault.

This leads me to the point of being earnest and telling the truth.  It is, quite simply, the right thing to do.  Doing the right thing may seem to be out of fashion when one is young and the people around you behave in this untrustworthy manner, but the bottom line is, no relationship has true value unless there is trust.  Without trust, a relationship can never be more than superficial.  And that kind of relationship is not worth having.

I know from my own experience and the experiences shared with me by others, that everyone needs at least one really good friend to get through the challenges we face in our lives.  If you have at least one person you can trust, you can recover and endure almost anything.  The reason that this is so, is that we all need to be able to count on someone to be sincere and truthful with us.

So, what we need to do, is learn how to be a real, true friend.  By being a good friend, by being honest and telling the truth, a person contributes to the well-being of our society.  We could change the entire world if it were filled with people willing to be earnest with one another and be there for each other.  And that would be a wonderful thing to behold.

Did you ever notice how some people radiate a good and loving heart?  It is like a benevolent feeling they carry with them, and it creates a beauty that can be seen with our eyes and also felt within us when we are around them.These special people may or may not have what the world considers to be physical beauty as it is defined by our culture.  But the beauty is there in whatever body they may inhabit.  Their beauty is inherent within them.

Now, here is another question.  Have you ever looked at a so-called beautiful person that looks like a magazine model and realized that their beauty is superficial?  And when they speak, it is haughty and mean-spirited?  This is a very sad phenomena, because bad behavior is often tolerated because of this “outside” beauty.  It is as if people do not want to accept that these “beautiful people” can be ugly inside.

I remember a guy I went to college with.  He was, well, homely, or what society would refer to as such.  He was one of the funniest people I had ever met.  He just kept us in stitches.  He was totally authentic and had a razor sharp wit.  And he was so nice.  He never made fun at the expense of anyone but himself.  Everybody loved to be around him.

Months later, sitting in the student lounge, I was looking at him and he looked handsome to me.  He was the same guy, but he looked so much more attractive than I had ever realized, or noticed before.  A week or so after that, I ran across some older pictures from when we first met, and realized that he looked exactly the same then as he did to me now.  That was a real moment of truth for me.  I could see that the beauty within him had changed my perception of his outer looks.

This revelation changed the way I think about people and beauty.  We can see things through a different, more perfect lens, if we delay our judgement of beauty and focus instead on the character of a person.  If we can look beyond the outside of a person, then we will be able to see what a person is like on the inside, where true beauty lives.

Lately I have been thinking about recycling a lot.  Using those big, designated bins for paper, plastic and glass is only one way.  Giving things you don’t want or need to people and organizations is also commonly done.  Composting is a fabulous method of giving back to this earth that feeds us.  Even just finding alternate uses for stuff in your home is recycling you can do for yourself.  The possibilities are endless if you acquire the proper mindset.

So, what do I mean by the proper mindset?  It occurred to me that this concept of recycling can be considered in a different manner.  One can envision education as a reprocessing of knowledge from the teacher to the student.  Teachers often recycle their curriculum, changing it to communicate the material with different language and styles.  The same information can be presented using new, imaginative approaches to a subject.  Recycling can be invigorating!

Musicians have often used this system with songwriting when a piece is re-arranged for singers, orchestras and bands or to change its phrasing.  Artists find discarded materials and create masterpieces.  Mechanics re-purpose parts to make adjustments to old machinery, build new tools and fix broken ones.

Clothing, cars and furniture are continually being refashioned.  If you keep your clothes and shoes, even long after they become out-of-date, eventually they will come back in style.  Hairdos are always being transformed into new ones.  Fads and fashions are repeatedly recycled.  Endless variations of a few basic techniques make way for fresh creations to bloom.

The changing of the seasons is one of the most amazing examples of recycling there is.  Nature takes the hard, frozen ground of Winter, void of vegetation, except for the trees, and completely transforms it at the beginning of Spring.  With the help of the sun and rain, the soil becomes moist and ready to be seeded and suddenly a wide range of multicolored plants and flowers appear. This leads to Summer, with its sunny, hot weather, bringing tremendous growth and maturity of the produce we need to survive.  Finally, Autumn brings the harvest and the falling of the leaves that will cover the ground and prepare it for Winter.  It is the recycling of our planet and it is magnificent.

Taking what we have and making it new again is just a process of re-thinking, and thereby reusing, what we already have.  It is one’s own particular perspective that allows one to see what can be done in any area of expertise.  Each person has their own path and direction.  I know that if I keep an open mind,  I will improve my recycling skills and use up my talents along the way.  I think everyone can do this, if they choose to give it a try.

There is something I witness, every day it seems, that really gets under my skin.  It is the fact that many of us, including myself, have entitlement issues.  Let me explain.

Merriam Webster has three definitions including: 1.  “the state or condition of being entitled: RIGHT” and 2.  “the belief that one is deserving or entitled to certain privileges.”  Finally, there is 3.  “a government program providing benefits to members of a specified group, including funds supported or distributed by such a program.”  Does everyone have rights and privileges?  I wonder.

If we are talking about basic rights, such as having respect for others and valuing each person’s dignity, then we should be able to agree that one could expect this treatment just by being part of the human race.  Beyond this, what are we entitled to have?

On the news, we hear Social Security benefits as being “entitlements.”  This is a problem because we have opposing ideas of what an entitlement means with regard to this program.  People who have contributed to this fund for all the years of their work life do not consider this an “entitlement” because the way in which this term is employed by politicians gives the sense of them NOT being entitled to it.  The exact meaning of the term is shrouded in innuendo.  The funds dispersed to a senior citizens by the government was first entrusted to the government by the senior citizens. Therefore it is the right of said citizens to have the money that was invested over a lifetime, returned to them when they are no longer employed.

The real issue is in the term “entitlement” and which definition is appropriate for each example.  The wealthy want “entitlements” (i.e. special treatment) in order to pay less to the government in taxes, stating that they are then able to provide more jobs etc., whether or not they actually do so.  And a sense of entitlement often refers to young people who don’t want to do anything in exchange for things with which they are provided. There is a jagged line that divides these definitions and attitudes.

The main problem is that the definitions often seem to contradict each other.  I know that each of us has felt entitled to one thing or another in our lives.  The most important thing is to clarify the meaning of this term when it is used.  Otherwise, every time the word is spoken, there is an opportunity for conflict.  And the worst thing about that is that our communication breaks down.

So, the next time you and I talk about “entitlements,” let’s be clear about what we are talking about.  If we do that, then we will be able to have a reasonable conversation with each other.  And maybe we will learn from each other in the process.

I can honestly say that I had no idea, when I was growing up, that being friendly would bring me so many benefits.  That’s not why I was friendly.  I was friendly because the people around me acted that way.  I learned it. At some point, I had to be told that friendliness was not always a good idea.  As I became a teenager there were situations in which to avoid this behavior, as when it could be seen to be an invitation to unwanted attention.  Well, you know what I mean.

But, then there comes a time in your life where there is a lesser chance of that happening because you are older and wise to the situations if they should present themselves.  Women my age, (over sixty,) generally do not have a problem with unwanted attention.

So, let’s return to the benefits of friendliness.  Whenever I smile and say “Good morning,” or “Hello” to people, they usually reply in kind.  I have begun friendships as easily as a first encounter with someone.  Conversations can sprout from just a few words.  To me, it is amazing that this is possible.  It has happened to me on many occasions and has blessed me every time.

I am the beneficiary of having friends all over the world that stay in touch with me and some of whom I have visited in far away places.  It makes me so happy to have friends of all ages, races, nationalities and faiths.  People who are the most different from me, enrich my life deeply because they teach me so much about the incredible variety in humankind.  Old friends are as valuable as gold because they already know so much about you and you know so much about them. With these friends, sometimes words are not even necessary to communicate.  Meeting new friends is like finding a buried treasure chest.  You never know exactly what happy surprises are in store.

Finally, friendliness can bring joy, encourage, give hope or even relieve stress. Sometimes, just a smile will be enough to make a bad day better.  It costs nothing to do this, and the rewards are great.  Smile a lot and laugh easily to make yourself a positive force.  You may find that you are glad you did.  I know I am.