I never truly realized that getting old would bring about so many undesirable changes in my body.  Some of these things started for me in middle age, but it just continues as I become older.  My mother, now ninety years old, warned me about some of these realities, but I didn’t pay much attention until they started to happen to me.

The first examples of these unwanted consequences of the passing years, started with hair.  It began to grow in some areas and become more sparse in others.  Some turned grey, some became white, while others disappeared altogether.  

The hair on my head started expanding exponentially onto my face.  Whiskers started to grow.  Eyebrows changed shape and became multicolored.  I now have at least three different colors of hairlike growth all over my head.

The part I hate the most is the facial hair in front of my ears.  You read it right, in front of my ears!  And it appears overnight.  It’s not there before I go to bed, but in the morning, it has already sprouted.  And it is white, and long!  I am dumbfounded by the rapid growth.  How is it possible?

Moving on to the rest of my body, I now have mole-like nodules all over the place, some of which propagate their own tendrils.  Will it never end?  And blood-red spots, like freckles have appeared on my skin.  There are some of these that wiggle, and skin tags that bleed when they accidentally get scratched.  Age spots and other growths seem to think it’s alright to join the congregation.  Who asked them?

Cellulite, aches and pains, wrinkles and waddles all join in the fun of changing the once perfect bodies of infants into elderly ones. Being a woman, I don’t have to deal so much with the ear and nose hair that men do, but there are plenty of crosses for all of us to bear.

I guess the bright side of all this is that we can choose to see this as a time for letting go of this body that we all will eventually shed.  Having it break down around us makes it easier.  And maybe it allows us time to reflect on the parts of us that matter the most.  It’s the inside of us, our minds, our hearts, and the spirit that lives on, beyond this earthly existence, that determines who we are.  That’s where our dignity remains intact.  The rest is merely a facade.

I can still remember, when I was growing up, the importance of work and doing a good job.  People would say, “He’s a good worker.” and that meant something.  If they weren’t a good worker it meant something too.  It was a yardstick by which a person’s character was measured.

I don’t know when it happened, but things have dramatically changed.  I no longer feel the presence of that expectation around me.  Everyday I witness a lack of desire to do a good job.  It is not everywhere, of course, but it is a palpable shift in attitude.

I still feel the weight of a good work ethic inside me.  I was raised that way.  And isn’t that what sticks with us in our core values anyway?  The way in which our families did or did not endorse behavior has an effect that lasts way beyond childhood.

So, I have to say it.  The United States no longer has the work ethic it once had.  The European population that immigrated here at the turn of the Twentieth Century brought us people who needed work.  They wanted it desperately and were willing to toil long and hard for the chance at a better life.  Others have come from all over the world and brought their families here to strive for the same thing.  They enabled us to become a great and wealthy nation.

My grandparents were all European immigrants and they worked very hard their entire lives.  It benefited my parents lives and has continued to benefit mine.  I can honestly say that the attitude that was impressed upon me, has made me a better worker and a better person.

Taking responsibility for oneself and doing your part in a collective effort benefits the society in which we live and gives everyone a stake in the future.  Moreover, it makes each person part of something “bigger than oneself.”  There is a good feeling attached to it.  Like it or not you and I are all in this together.  As Americans, we can turn things around or leave things the way they are.  I prefer to think that we can work together and turn the tide into an ocean of opportunity and enjoy the bounty that it brings, for each one of us..

Sometimes illness affords one a chance to ponder things.  These thoughts, which we would otherwise not have time to think about, are important because our modern world is all about doing.  Doing, without thinking attached, becomes a rote existence.  

Since I have been ill for the past several days, this has been my time to ponder.  I have had a cold, miserable at the moment, but fleeting in time.  Others in this world, are dying of diseases that could be almost non-existent, if only they had safe drinking water.

I have much more than enough good-tasting, clean water of which I drink to my heart’s content.  I can cook, clean, and bathe in this water, and all of it is drinkable.  What’s more, it comes to me, into my house, on tap, without my lifting a finger, and is there waiting for me to use it at will.

Why is it that I am so fortunate, when so many others are not.  I thought I appreciated these things, these extravagances really.  But do I?  Am I even capable of understanding what it must be like to spend hours of each day fetching and carrying water, (miles away from home in some parts of the world,) to come back and prepare a simple meal for my family each and everyday?  This is a reality for many people.  Food, water, medical attention, all of which I have had freely given to me since my birth, are graces unearned.  Why me?  Why not, for so many others?

I have heard it said, seen it written and even experienced it for myself, that often, the most impoverished people are the most willing to share what little they have.  What a paradox!  It seems that the more one has, the more selfish one becomes.  This is no surprise.  This is no secret.  I know I could be far more generous with my resources.

 So, what is the answer?  I am sure that the answer is both simple and complicated at the same time.  Each of us has a situation that is unique.  I am not wise enough to know the answer.  But today, I pose the question.  What can I do to be more generous, more grateful, and less concerned about myself?  The answer, for me, will be found in the way I respond to these questions.  And so, the quest begins.   And it begins because, today, I had the time to ponder.

The way we live leaves an imprint on the people and circumstances we touch.  Sometimes, like today, I realize that each moment I interact with other people, it may be a time that will be remembered, either positively, or negatively.  It means that our actions may affect people long after they happen.  So it is important that we treat people in a way that we would want to be remembered.

Whenever possible, smile and be pleasant to everyone you encounter.  A smile affects the person that is smiling as positively as the one who receives it.  Look for something good to comment about.  Be grateful and express it often.  I think about the people I meet on a regular basis, especially the ones I like and love.  Good memories are easy to make with these people.

Then, I consider how I can be positive to the people I don’t like, and people who do mean things.  It is so hard to find ways of being positive around these people.  But it is important to try.  The world is a better place for it, each time it happens.  It matters that we try.  Whether or not it works, should not be the criteria by which we judge our behavior.

Being true to oneself is so critical to the development of good character.  It is up to each of us to decide what that will be.  Being remembered will either happen, or not.  Memories of a person can be good, bad, or non-existent.  And we are not the ones who determine this.  The other person makes these decisions.  All one can do is be authentic.  The rest is not in our control.

As I get older, I realize more and more that my time here is limited.  It makes each moment more precious.  One thing is for sure.  I can only go forward from this place and time until the end of my life here.  If I start my day with a prayer to love more each day, then maybe I will evolve to be a person who is remembered for the positive things and not be a person that people will want to forget.

I realize that my age has something to do with the way I feel about many issues.  I suspect it is about maturity and tolerance or intolerance.  One such issue is the proliferation of profanity in the youth of our culture.  It is an affront to civil society and a bane to those of us who like to have peaceful spaces in our lives. And it has become almost as “normal” as its ubiquitous presence.  

So why do they do it?  I have thought about this for a long time.  Once reserved for tough guys and those thought to be crude and uncivilized, children did not speak in this manner. And then, it became a cool thing for adolescents to do for its shock value.  Now, it has become a way of speaking and thinking.

Why isn’t this seen as a lack of vocabulary?  Why is it okay to say nasty things loudly and in public?  I have far more questions than answers.  Vulgarity is not attractive, as much as there may be evidence to the fact that young people may think so.  I very much doubt that it will get them a great relationship or a decent job.

Something that really gets to me, is that there are many young people whom I observe that think it’s okay to say these words because “they don’t mean anything.”  This is not entirely true. Even if these words may not mean anything to a particular circle of “friends,” they do in the world at large.  And people are listening.  People that can make or break your future will make associations between your language and your abilities.  Profanity is not a  smart way to behave.

I am constantly exposed to young people who act in this manner, and it makes me very sad.  I see so much potential being wasted by the constant, negative, extraneous babble.  These “bad” words and blase attitude can crowd out natural curiosity and the desire to gain knowledge.

If one looks at the origins of these words and the negative meanings each of them have, then maybe it would cause some serious thinking.  The words that have expressed insult and degradation to people, are now being used to do those very same things to the ones using them upon themselves.

There needs to be a dialogue with those who think that this behavior doesn’t matter.  The conversation needs to happen, and soon.