It has always amused me to see parents of newborns taking movies of their baby’s every move.   Now, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a wonderful idea to film children at every age to see them grow over the years and have this valuable account of their lives.  I wish that this opportunity would have been available to me, so that I could have done this with my own children as they were growing up.

The thing I don’t understand, is the fact that there are some parents who make videos of absolutely “everything” their children do. There will never be enough time to watch them all.  And, when one is always filming, that person is not a part of the moments being captured.

To me, it seems that if you are filming everything, then you should edit the footage along the way. Otherwise, you will never be able to find that moment that you want to view again.  Doing this will give you a representative account of the growth and maturity that you want to capture.  There simply are not enough hours in the day to watch so many hours of anything.

Which brings me to the whole idea of spending time being together.  These memories that we create, by just being totally in the moment with our children are the movies we play in our minds.  The making of these memories, as well as the retelling of them, are experiences we can enjoy and remember together with our children. They are priceless.  These interactions reinforce the bonds we form in our families.  They become our “oral history.”

In some cultures, these oral traditions are the ties that bind families and communities of people together.  When this is done, people become connected in “real time” at each retelling of a story that is shared.  Watching memories are great, but making them is what “real” life is all about.  If I had to choose between real time and “reel time”, there is no contest.  Real beats reel any day.

If you’ve ever had an”aha” moment, you know that it is unforgettable. The feeling is intoxicating!  You will always remember that moment when the light bulb goes on.

Having the opportunity to reach someone through teaching is an honor and a privilege.  I have been fortunate enough to have taught in many different settings. Of the special moments I have experienced, there are two examples that stand out in my memory.

I worked with a young man who was deaf and whose education had been thwarted by the circumstances of his health.  He and I were doing arithmetic.  When I started to use different visual aids that I had made for him, I could see a light in his eye.  When he figured out that he could do it himself he was so amazed and excited by it that he just kept doing problem after problem on his own.  He was so proud of himself. What a joyful experience!

Coincidentally, at another job I had, I worked with a young woman who was also deaf.  She was developmentally disabled and I worked with her in her apartment, teaching her how to do things for herself.  She had a hard time with the concept of “why.”  She knew the meaning of “who,” “what” “where’” and “how”, but “why” is a word that requires one to think critically.  This was a puzzle to her.

I knew she loved snow.  I asked her, “Why do you love snow?”  She signed, “I like snow.”  I said, “But, why do you like snow?”  Again she signed, “I like snow.”  Okay, I thought.  Not today.

I continued to ask her again and again when the opportunity arose, and she continued to say the same thing.  Until one day, when I asked her, she signed, “Pretty.”  “Yes!’” I signed.  I continued. “Why else?”  She signed, “Play in the snow.”  These were the first two times that she had given me a reason.  She was excited.  I was excited.  It was wonderful.

It didn’t matter that the next time I asked a “why” question, she didn’t have an answer.  She had begun to understand a complex concept, and we were finally on a new journey together.

In the scheme of things, many days are the same.  They pass by and we don’t remember the details because they are ordinary.  But sometimes, if you are lucky, you experience an “aha” moment.  That’s something you don’t forget, but instead, celebrate it each time you remember it.  And that is a darn good feeling.

Today, as I look around me at people and and their attitudes, I am reminded of myself as a child, picking up on every feeling that was shown to me by the adults around me.  I was profoundly affected by my parents and how they felt about life and the things that happened daily.

I was fortunate, because my parents loved each other and together they loved me and showered me with affection.  Because I am the oldest, I had their undivided attention.  My mother stayed home and my life in many ways was idyllic. Most of the people of the world are not born into this environment, and this is unfair.

Later, my brother was born and little changed for me because there was more than enough love to go around. My world was small and I was protected from many of the negative influences in life.  For all intents and purposes, my life was insulated from the outside world.

My parents were tolerant people and I learned to be tolerant.  They were generous people and I learned to be generous.  These two things alone shaped a lot of the feelings I have today.  My thoughts and feelings were valued and I was free to share them openly. Many have no such luxury.  The fact that we did not struggle financially also had a powerful impact on the way of life I enjoyed.

Growing up, we have no choice in the hand that is dealt to us.  Being born into a family that has the basic necessities, the material things that give physical security is one aspect of quality of life.  But equally important, is the freedom of having the right to think and say what we feel and being valued as a person.

If only each of us were able to express ourselves beginning as little children and share our feelings in a safe place, our world would be more apt to produce a kinder and more accepting society.  Then, maybe, as adults, people would be more open to sharing their feelings and ideas. If this were to happen, perhaps we could have conversations that would build understanding and goodwill just through the sharing of our feelings with one another.

I am thinking about the past year and am trying to put together a perspective that remembers all of the positive things that happened and try to learn from the mistakes that I have made.  This takes time and careful consideration.

In the next year, I need to remember to ask myself if what I am doing at any given time is kind, necessary, or even just plain worth doing at all.  Each year, as I grow older, I realize more and more how precious each moment can be.  I need to look inward more, engage in meaningful conversation more, and most importantly, try to find ways to love more.  This is critical to the creation and maintenance of a humane world.

Living with purpose, making each minute count for something, is part of why we are here.  Moments do not have to be doing something.  Sometimes, “not doing” is what is required.  Whatever I do or don’t do, I must find ways of doing it with deliberation.  Consciousness gives action its value.

I think that we share our ideas with each other about how to make this world a friendlier place.  Time spent doing that helps each of us become a better listener and a nicer person.  If I can look inside myself and see the prejudices I most certainly have, some of which I may not even be aware of as yet, I will have a chance of improving by becoming more honest with myself and more understanding of others.
Today, is the beginning of a new day, a new year, a challenge to grow and improve my character.  I welcome all the assistance I can get to do this more successfully.  Today, this new year, I ask for your guidance.  If we support and cooperate with each other, our small corner of the world will blossom with hope for a brighter future and an excellent new year.

Six days ago, my husband and I lost our dearest friend.  Her name was Tiny and she loved us completely and unconditionally every day that she was in our lives.  She was our greatest cheerleader and our most loyal friend.

Tiny was gentle and sweet-tempered, and she loved us with every inch of her little 13 pound self.  She was different shades of chocolate brown with smooth silky fur and a beautiful, expressive face.  I can’t believe how much we miss her. We loved her, still love her, will always love her, and she is barely gone a week.

Memories of her will fill our days as we come home after work and she is not there to greet us at the door, with such enthusiasm that we were continuously surprised by the pleasure it brought into every, single day.  No one has ever consistently, without fail, been so darn glad to see us.  And it was true every time, even if we were only gone for minutes.

Tiny was never aggressive, but if you were to see her and hear her upon approaching our house, you would think she was vicious.  She acted as if everyone outside was a threat to us.  Surely, she thought that she was protecting us, as she barked furiously at any one who passed our property, even a little old man and his tiny, elderly dog on their daily walk.

She lived her life entirely for us and just wanted to be close to us every minute of the day.  It made us want to stay home more and more.  And, she made us laugh so much!

The last day of her life, she was with me, as I was home from work.  We had a wonderful time and she was vibrant and energetic, as always.  Later, she would bark and make a strange sound right before her heart stopped.  In an instant, she was gone.  We held her, trying to revive her, knowing that it was in vain, but not believing that it could be true.

We brought her to our vet, where she was put into compassionate arms that cradled her and carried her off to be cremated to be returned to us later to keep in remembrance of her place in our lives.  We must only think of and remember her for what she was, and still is, a blessing and a joy.  That will never change.

Our pets are part of our families and we grieve them, as we should.  They deserve to be remembered with sadness, but with the hope that we will see them again.  There they will join us, with those loved ones who have passed before us, where we will find peace and happiness forever.