A number of years ago, I came up with this idea of “negative thought replacement therapy.”  I even had my husband make me a sign (vinyl letters on hard plastic sign material) that I put on the windowsill of my kitchen.  I did work on doing this for a while.  Later, I would just think about doing this.  Finally, I found that it just became a part of my windowsill, not my mind.

Every so often, I would notice it and think, “I really need to do that.”  Or I would just continue to ignore it, not on purpose, but I just didn’t see it.  It was like those projects you want to do in your house, that really bother you, but after time passes they just become less visible and gradually fall into the background.

I remember reading a book that said you should say to yourself, “My spirit salutes your spirit.” when someone cuts you off in traffic.  I never actually did that, but at the time I thought maybe I should try it.  But when it came right down to it, I just took a deep breath and let it go at that.

Lately, I have been trying to find ways of incorporating this idea back into my life, as I do with my daily prayers.  So far I have been unsuccessful.  Still I think that it could become useful.  For instance, when I find myself disliking someone, I can think, “This person needs positive thoughts to come to him/her.”  This, instead of, “I can’t stand that person.”

And when I find negative “self-talk” getting me down, I can change my thoughts into “I need to give myself a break.”  When I do things like this, my stress level falls.  I become more comfortable with myself and other people.  I really need to do this more.

All of these things are nice to think about, but doing them is difficult.  Maybe my new mantra should be, “Think positive NOW!”  It can work.  I need to use it, and not let this idea fall into the background of my life, as my sign did.  And that would be a positive sign (+)!

With hunger and need on one hand, and power and money on the other, which does one choose to focus on?  Whatever the answer, it comes from the soul.  There are souls rich in generosity, ready to try and help those in need and souls that focus on themselves and what they can acquire.  Most of us are somewhere in the middle. Still, in spite of the fact that there is enough wealth to feed everyone, people still go hungry.  This is evidence of what I am referring to as a “poverty of the soul.”

In the United States, the huge disparity between the rich and the poor can be seen so clearly, and ignored so easily.  Without regarding all people as being worthy of basic necessities, we feed the greedy and starve the needy.  There is a large question that looms over America today. What kind of country do we want to be?

Why is the bottom line ALWAYS money?  Aren’t we better than that?  Shouldn’t we be?  Life is unfair.  This is true.  However, there is so much we can do to even the playing field.  People need not go hungry.  There should be opportunity for everyone to succeed.  I’m not talking about endless handouts. But giving a hand up can make it possible for those born into poverty to lift themselves out of it.

You may be familiar with the quote from the Bible that states, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked” (Luke 12:48).  Money is only a part of the equation.  Gifts of time and talent are also needed.  There are so many ways to give and every one of them is essential.

I guess I am trying to make sense of these inequalities and am pondering the possible solutions to the problems that we face in the United States and elsewhere.  One thing is relatively certain.  When people do not have access to ways out of physical poverty, it is unlikely that it will happen. Sharing abundance, in all its forms, makes life better for everyone.  Poverty of the soul is still poverty.  It is the simplest kind of poverty to fix.  What it requires is a change of heart.

I remember the first time I heard the term, “active listening.”  It was not something I had ever thought about very much.  I thought I knew how to listen.  But there is an important component in this “listening” that must be considered.  “Active listening” requires one to be in tune with the other person’s words, without thinking of how to respond.  It involves a conscious effort to stay focused ONLY on what the other person is saying.

The recent stream of hate rhetoric seems to have taken over social media and news outlets that report on the conditions that are present to their readers.  It is an ugly way of communication and I can’t say that I witness a lot of openness to compromise.  It seems that the more disagreement finds a fertile place to grow, the more people dig their heels in.

I am trying to stay positive in the midst of this, but find myself disturbed when people do not see things the way I do.  I am attempting to create a peaceful space in my own consciousness, where a cooperative spirit can grow.  For if we each continue to feel as divided as we do in this present moment, that will be impossible. Two diametrically opposing ideas cannot fullyexist in the same mind.  There needs to be a willingness to adjust our attitudes and move toward middle ground.

“Active listening” is essential to the communication we must have in order to see the other person’s point of view.  Only then, can we open our minds fully to the possibility of compromise.  When this happens, we engage in the essential process that can only happen in minds open enough to grow peace.

Hatred, in its many forms, must not be tolerated if we aspire to be a place where there is freedom to have different opinions and discuss issues in an open and non-confrontational manner.  If peace is what we are after, active listening is necessary. Let us strive to be a country where this can happen.  We can be a place that people will be free to express their opinions openly.  That is the America I want to see and I know that it can be accomplished.  Our future depends on it.

What will we leave behind when each of us leaves this life?  When we ask ourselves this kind of question, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Do we think of our money in the bank?   Our house?  Our investments?  What if we have none of these things in the first place or nothing left to give after we die?  What if all we leave behind are debts to be paid with whatever is left of our “earthly stuff?”  Will it matter to our kids and grandkids?

It causes me to ask myself, “What is really important to me?”  What will have I taught them?  What will be important to them?  If the answer is money or things what will it say about the relationships we have had?

I know what I will remember of them.  I will remember the time we spent together and how much fun we had, the things they said and the laughter we shared.  Even the difficult times we got through together are memories to treasure because they showed us what we were made of.

What will we leave behind when it’s time for them to carry on without us?  And what will our legacy be?  Hopefully they will not view legacy in terms of money, but on values and memories that give life meaning.  I know that I want leave a legacy of love.  Love doesn’t run out.  Love never ends, even after death.  Love makes all things possible.

But what will  our progeny think?  Will we be judged by our amassed wealth or the wealth of our relationship?  Questions, questions, questions are all that I have right now.  I am not the one who will answer them.  I wonder what they will say?  In the end, that is all that will really matter anyway.

As one looks at the events of the past year in the United States,  it is painfully clear that inequality exists on many levels.  The long-held idea of the double standard with regard to men and women has been the predominant way in which we have viewed a double standard.  And the lack of progress in this area is something that is evidenced in the way that some men still treat women as reflected in the numbers of assault and rape. Here are some statistics. According to a US Department of Justice report, “1 in 7 women and 1 in 18 men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime to the point in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed.“ and “1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men in the United States has been raped in their lifetime.” This disparity is listed in additional statistics in a report by the CDC in 2010 as well as many other publications.

Working in public high schools I have seen a double standard at play on a daily basis.  Girls being touched and and groped at in the hallways is bad enough.  But sadly, I also see a willingness of many girls wanting to be paid attention to, even if it is degrading.  For girls to feel this way, it has been learned somewhere, and the media enforces the idea by constantly repeating such scenes of violence, making it seem to be an unalterable fact.  This is and has been an unacceptable truth, but it continues.

And now, there are new and renewed double standards in the way our culture behaves toward some of our citizens, that suggests gross inequalities in the way people of some races, ethnicities, sexual orientations, religions and immigrants are treated.  Much of this was aggravated in the 2016 election, when the country’s diametrically opposed political ideologies were fueled by hate rhetoric.  This rhetoric ignited flames of prejudices that were already a part of a double standard, but were often masked because acting on them was recognized as being unacceptable by much of the population.

Regardless of the whos and whys, all people should be able to be themselves as long as they don’t hurt anyone in the process.  That is what freedom is all about.  And in this country, these are the things we hold dear.  In spite of our failings, our Constitution respects and protects the rights of all citizens and has been a stronghold in the belief that “all men are created equal.”  We have long been a country of immigrants and our Statue of Liberty holds the flame of hope for those who are oppressed.  Maybe, we all should take a look at ourselves and uncover the ways our prejudices reflect our actions.  Hopefully, as a nation we will more closely live up to the ideals we are supposed to stand for, because that is what our democracy calls us to do.