If we are fortunate enough, and live long enough, we encounter, and perhaps befriend many good people during the course of our lives.  Not everyone is a “people person,” as I am, so this may not seem to be a message for everyone. But, there are many ways to be a friend to another person.

Consider giving anonymously to a cause that helps people.  This is being a friend to someone or many someones, albeit a distant one.  But friendship comes in many different ways to people. Mostly, we think of very close relationships with regard to friendship.  However, there are always degrees of any relationship.

To me, the first actions of friendship can start very small.  Even just sitting close by when a person is in distress, is an act of friendship.  This can happen anywhere.  Perhaps it could take place in a waiting room or some other place where people are gathered to wait.  Maybe, what I am really saying is that acting like a friend would do in a situation, is a possible beginning of a relationship.  And isn’t that the way things often happen?

Kindness and friendship go hand in hand.  Therefore, showing kindness can be an act of friendship. Being a kind person is something for all of us to aspire to.  It makes the world a better place to live.

Being a friend to someone can start just by acting kindly or helpful to another person.  One conversation can start it all.  Maybe you will have something in common with that other person. And so it begins.  Even just making acquaintances can lead to a deeper relationship with time.  And every time we do this, there is an opportunity to grow.

I like to think that if we were to be more open to these possibilities as they present themselves, the occasions for friendship to flourish would blossom and grow.  Opportunities abound when one has an open mind and an open heart.

So let us be kind and look for ways to incorporate kindness to others into our daily lives. Then, being a friend to someone will become a natural thing to do.

Growing pains aren’t just something we physically experience in childhood.  We never really totally finish growing up, do we? We age and mature with time, but are we ever finished growing?  I hope not. And if that is so, growing up never really stops. At least, that’s my opinion.

Maturing is a process that shouldn’t end.  Unless we decide not to learn and grow, we can become wiser.  But we must be open to it. That is the important decision that determines every possibility that comes before us.  Being open is essential.

When we are children, we learn through observation and play.  We imitate the adults around us and that is where it begins. If we are taught to be kind, we learn to be kind.  If we are taught to be open-minded, our curiosity grows and ignites the fire of pursuing knowledge and experiencing new things.

Learning through experience can be painful at any age.  Education is the key, wherever it leads us. The people around us either encourage or thwart our growth.  This attitude about education, whatever it is, directs our path. This can be positive or negative.

Even if we are not open to knowledge at a particular time of our lives, we can change our minds at any time.  Especially important to me, is growing in our capacity to love one another. Learning how to be a better human being is a most worthy goal of personal growth.

If people at all ages in the many different circumstances in which we live, could pursue the goal of learning to be more compassionate, more giving and more concerned with others, especially those of little means, closed minds could open up a wider lens.  Then perhaps, life’s growing pains could reap the benefits of healing in our lives and others. And that, would alleviate much of the suffering in this world we all share.

The pains of growing up, growing old, and hopefully growing wiser, are only small difficulties when compared with what happens if we do not grow at all.  In that regard, we are merely carrying the weight of our conscience, as we painstakingly bear the responsibility of being a responsible adult.

What if we could see the world through the eyes of a child?  Each of us is born without any taint of wrong.  A brand new life is filled with pure potentiality.  When we, as adults, birth our children, our lives revolve around them.  We bring them into this world.  They are here because of us, and we are responsible for them.

If we let them affect our thinking and behavior and we protect them from the outside influences as long as possible, we can allow ourselves to see the world more from their perspective.  And when we do, we can discover ways of thinking that soften our world and let more love in.

Children observe their surroundings as a truly, unblemished environment because they have no prejudice toward anything.  Everything is pure discovery.  What a difference it would make, if only we could remove some of our predisposed ideas and see things more simply.  Perhaps, we would make better judgments and decisions.

And we should consider relearning how to breathe like a baby.  Babies take each breath in deeply and exhale fully.  Watch them sleep and see their little chests slowly go slowly up and down.  This is the way we all should breathe.  If we just were to take a deep breath before doing or saying things on a regular basis, imagine what positive things could come from it.  Simple things, like breathing deeply, can change attitudes and emotions so that our thought processes work better.  And this can lead to clearer thinking and purpose.

I often marvel at what positive energy there is in a room when a child is present.  Especially when they are very young, our attention turns toward them.  When this happens, we are able to detach ourselves from the daily worries and just live in the moment.  Of course, we must be open to such things.

Life is short.  We all know this.  But being in the moment and seeing the world through the eyes of a child can help adults to see what is important.  We just need to let go and let them show us the way.

One of the things my father used to say, is “There’s no time like the present.”  This, coming from the most “in the moment” person I have yet to meet, is profound.  There is so much power in that simple statement.  But, saying it and doing something about it are two different things.

Enter me, a timid, shy and somewhat fearful young girl.  I couldn’t wrap my head around such a concept, until I was older.  I just marveled at his cheerful confidence. It took time for me to own that statement.

Now, I regularly think about how important it is to think this way.  For if we think we have lots of time to decide to do things, we may run out of it in terms of the ability to accomplish them later on.  For Dad, this was just a fact, and he said it in a matter-of-fact way.  Not so, for me.

I still overthink things and delay doing them.  But, I am trying to change those habits. It helps if I see his face in my mind, urging me to go ahead.  He is no longer here to do it in person.

Consider the alternative.  Not doing something that you want to do, when the opportunity presents itself, could be your last chance.  If that happens, you or I will have no one to blame, but ourselves.

Now, how to change the outcome, begins with an attitude change.  We can decide to “live in the moment.” Then, if you or I falter, we can choose to decide again.  Sooner or later, this decision will become fact, unless we continue to change our minds.

After all is said and done, our moments here pass all too quickly.  There is no other time like the present one we are living in.  And that time is called now.  We just need to  remember, that in every moment the choice is always ours to do with as we will.  And one can always change one’s mind.

I will go so far as to say that gossip can be an evil force.  While gossip could be used positively, I would think that we would not be apt to call that behavior “gossip.”  People rarely go behind people’s back to say wonderful, or at least positive things about other people, unless they are planning a surprise party.

Terms that come to mind when thinking of gossip are: backbiting, maliciousness, slander, lying, maligning, whispering, spreading rumors and many others. When a person says nice things about another person, it is a compliment and something to be shared with that person and others as well.  I doubt that anyone would refer to this type of action as gossip.

So why does a person do this?  I think that it is perhaps the need to bring another down in order to feel better about oneself.  Or it could be done out of jealousy that another person is more popular or more competent..

Mean-spiritedness seems to have grown more swiftly in our culture as politics, religion, economic and, social status have separated us exponentially.  Once separated, it is easy to demonize each other.  Gossip is the perfect outlet for expressing these feelings.

This a problem throughout the world, causing people to create opposing factions that spread propaganda, that can even, eventually, lead to war.  Propaganda is gossip on a large scale.

I have to admit, and am ashamed to say, that I have gossiped.  No excuses, it was, and is wrong. And although I am sure I have done so as an adult, my goal is to only say nice things about people whether they are present or not..

We are flawed human beings, all of us.  But, if we can each purposely try to see the good in others and talk about it to them and about them as we observe it, we can make a difference. Positive action can produce positive feelings that create an atmosphere where good things not only happen, but grow.

I present a challenge to myself and anyone who cares to join me, in trying to say something nice whenever it happens, and about any person(s) who does good things.  Then, whenever a situation should present itself, we will take that opportunity to share those thoughts with that person or persons. Collectively, we could begin to change our culture, one compliment at a time.  And even if it only changes a little bit, it could turn out to be a catalyst for more positive thought processes to flourish.

Gossip has always been a negative part of our human behavior.  Any lessening of this behavior would be a good thing for everyone.  At any rate, it sure couldn’t hurt to try.