I have always enjoyed giving things away.  Whether they be presents I bought, art I made or just things I never use, giving has always been more satisfying than receiving to me.  Because I have always had enough of what I needed in my life, I have been truly blessed. Therefore, I have been able to give out of my abundance.  And this makes me feel good.

Now, what if you do not have enough to give to others?  Many people are in this situation. And yet, I have witnessed people give from what little they have to others if they see that another person is also in need.  They share what they have because they are grateful even when they are in want. That is pure generosity and I have never been in that situation.

People who display this kind of giving, even when they themselves have very little, are truly the ones who know how to love.  Anyone can give out of their abundance. That is, if they choose to do so. And I am not saying that this kind of giving is wrong or that people can’t have a giving attitude in such circumstances.  I just think that it is noteworthy that some people are able to share in this way. It is truly a sign of brotherly love.

Another aspect of giving things away, is that whatever the motive, it always has the power to make one feel good.  Sharing is an act of gratitude. It brings to mind the book, written by Leo Buscaglia entitled The Way of the Bull.  In his travels through Asia, he meets many impoverished people and experiences this gracious attitude of them sharing what little they had, with him.  It touched him deeply to witness their giving, and the joyfulness they had in their lives. The images in this book have stayed with me even though I read it over 20 years ago.

Giving things away can make one feel rich.  It can be a way of decluttering our homes. It can be an expression of love for another person.  Giving can support charities, causes and places of worship. It can do tremendous good. Even if it means nothing to the giver, the receiver can benefit from such a gift.  And if a gift is given with love and in gratitude for having it to give, it becomes a symbol of living a good life.

Many years ago, while living in California, where the weather was almost always sunny, I started my endeavor of performing singing telegrams.  My good friend Marilyn, had a balloon business and asked me if I would deliver balloon bouquets on Valentine’s Day. She also asked if I would do a singing telegram for each delivery, and I did.

I performed about a dozen of them all in one day, traveling on the freeway with a car full of helium balloons in my little Ford Escort, barely able to see in my rear-view and side mirrors.  It was so much fun though. I went all over the place singing my Valentine deliveries at offices, in banks, at a factory and at homes.

Each time I made a delivery, it was a surprise, which made it all the more fun.  I especially remember going into a factory, walking about a half mile in heels carrying my balloons, all the while being watched by all the workers I passed by.  The whole day was really a wonderful experience and I wanted to do it again.

A year or so later, my daughter wanted to go on a trip to Washington D.C. with her girl scout troop.  The fundraisers they did paid for a significant portion of the cost, but the girls had to pay for the rest of it.  Father’s Day was coming up, so, I thought that a good way to make the money was to do singing telegrams for the men we knew through our church. (My daughter was also a good singer.)  

My husband was in a fraternal organization in which many of the men belonged, and so we had a list to draw from.  We decided that we would make brownies as a gift for each delivery of the telegram. The idea went over big and we had the whole day booked for our brownie deliveries. We easily earned the money she needed for the trip. It was a big success!

Since then, I have continued to do them for people, this time with a specific song that I choose for the occasion.  I pick out a particular, familiar song and then rewrite it with words to fit the person and or event. I have done it like this ever since.  They have almost always been a surprise and have never disappointed. It’s a pretty rare thing to find an experience that one never tires of doing.

I just wrote one today and realized that I should start doing them as a little business.  So if you live close to me, (and you know who you are) give me a call if you are interested.

“Under the Influence” is a phrase used to describe a person who is inebriated.  But what if we began to use this term in a positive way? For example, “My friend is under the influence of a gifted teacher.”  Or, maybe one could say, “I am under the influence of kindness that has been given to me.”

These optimistic influences could be the impetus for doing something good in the life of another.  Or, they could spur a person to be their best self. There are so many, better ways to think of these words than as a synonym for being drunk.

So, what might you think of as being a good influence to be under?  That may sound funny, when put that way. But still, as I think of what I would come up with when asked that question, I am drawn to situations that would help me broaden my horizons, as in learning something profound.  

Actually, gratefully, I think that I am still under the influence of my parents, who taught me right from wrong.  And as I begin to muse about such things, I keep coming across other matters that I am “under the influence of.” The word “under” is perhaps the problem with this phrase I am expounding upon.  “Under” can tend to have a negative tone. But that need not be so. Why should it only be construed in that way?

I, for one, would like to challenge the context of the word.  After all, this is just an exercise in one of my random ramblings.  Even though there is no definitive reason to delve into this topic any further, I would love to do so.  Therefore, if you should decide you want to continue this conversation with me, just leave me a comment and I will reply.  Hope to hear from someone soon!

So many things that happen in everyday life can be irritating and can bring out negative feelings that make our lives unpleasant, when they need not be so.  Small things, when ruminated about, can become huge in our minds and make our mood go downhill fast. But this need not happen. We can choose to see these situations as merely inconveniences.

I saw a movie many years ago in which two of the characters were working in a kitchen.  One of them, a younger man, was complaining incessantly about having to eat the same food all the time.  He complained about the fact that they always had to eat leftovers. The older man, who was just happy to have a job that fed him, told the young man that what he was complaining about was just an inconvenience.  This wiser man pointed out the fact that they were able to eat for free, and that he was grateful. It struck me as being very wise. And I have remembered it many times when I have felt ungrateful and have been tempted to complain about something mundane.

It’s part of human nature to fall into these traps and make too much of an inconvenience and turn it into a major complaint.  This magnification of small inconveniences, makes a problem out of nothing. And this outlook does nothing good for any of us. Furthermore, it creates a negative atmosphere whenever it happens.  There are more than enough real problems that present themselves in our daily lives that demand our attention. We need not add to them.

I have a problem with this tendency as much as anyone else.  But it occurs to me, that even a small shift in attitude could eliminate this negative energy, or at least lessen it.  I think that I will try to introduce a small habit into my life that may improve the quality of my life. I will start to ask myself, “Is this merely an inconvenience?”  whenever I encounter an irritation that seems to be taking on a life of its own. Then maybe, I will be able to concentrate on solving real problems, and not dwell on something that is just an inconvenience.

Do opposites attract?  Or, do they divide? I think that both can be true.  In the current political atmosphere, there is much evidence that there is far more division today than in any other part of my lifetime.  It is disturbing to me personally, but I believe that it is a damaging force that affects everyone.

In the past, I remember the positive phrase was used to describe physical attraction between members of the opposite sex.  It was also a way of defining friendships, or even people who differed ideologically and enjoyed arguing or debating one another.

Opposite points of view are valuable tools in decision-making and peacekeeping efforts.  They help to mediate disagreements that threaten a consensus that can lead to compromise.

So, opposites do attract and divide.  With division, the challenge is to minimize the negative aspects of it.  I have observed people, who disagree, get into fights because they treat each other in a reactionary way.  How can we remedy this situation?

Mutual respect would be preferable.  But if that doesn’t prove possible, civility would be a good place to start.  Ignoring one another doesn’t do anything positive in problem-solving of any kind.  There needs to be a starting point in any fruitful discussion of a problem.

I guess the way in which we approach each situation is key in finding answers to the questions we have through empathy and listening.  In a perfect world, whether opposites attract or divide, our dealings with one another would have a positive outcome. I always prefer to look at the positive side of a topic, discussion or disagreement.  That’s the Pollyanna in me. And I always hope to keep that attitude in my heart. Because, if I do that, even when things don’t go the way I would want them to, at least I will have tried to be positive and find my way forward.  That’s just how I roll.