Looking back on our lives in California, I sometimes marvel at the sheer volume of our activities and relationships with so many wonderful people.  We could have lived there for the rest of our lives.  We had been blessed with life-long friends and purposeful activities that enriched us.  

Ollie and I were chosen to be one of the couples that would collectively chair the upcoming Fiesta.  We were shocked and honored for being chosen.  Of course we accepted and began the process with Larry and Lorraine Walden.  We were well suited to work together.  We have kept in touch on Facebook.  I don’t write many letters anymore.  Oh my!  So many things have changed!

I was asked to sing for a wedding for two parishioners.  The man was widowed and was going to marry again.  I don’t remember exactly how old he was.  He was probably in his early forties.  A year or two later, he died of a heart attack and I was asked to sing for his funeral.  We were in the midst of preparations for the Fiesta.

I began to think about our parents.  Ollie’s parents and my parents were all in their 60’s.  We hadn’t even considered thinking about what we would do if one of them became seriously ill, let alone died.  Ollie and I talked about it and decided to ask the kids what they thought about moving back to Indiana.  They both decided immediately that they wanted to go back home.  A decision had been made.

Fiesta was coming together and school was out.  The kids were ready to leave, so we flew them home.  After Fiesta, the church gave us a party.  Five of the men from the parish sang a song for me on the stage.  We were able to say our goodbyes to all of our friends.  Ollie and I were touched by their wonderful generosity and love.  

We began the process of deciding what we would bring home and what we would leave behind.  Then we packed a moving truck and filled it up.  We would tow our car behind it.

Our drive back home included a stop or two with friends who had moved away from Indiana.  But then we drove home with as few stops as possible.  Upon arriving in Mishawaka, my parents and the kids were waiting for us.  As the song says, we were, “Back Home Again in Indiana.”  We were exactly where we were meant to be.  It was like the experience of finding ourselves in Duarte.  I know that God showed us the way.

After moving to Duarte, we had immersed ourselves in church, school and the community.  We made life-long friends.  Our family had become embedded in our church and the children’s school.   Mary joined Girl Scouts and Seth tried out for some sports in the community.  Mary had made good friends and Seth had a best friend that even visited us after we moved back to Indiana.

We continued all the activities we did as a family.  We were happy even as we continued to miss family back home in Indiana.  I took sign language at a community college and it was free.  So many classes were offered.  Ollie took up sign painting in one of the classes and painted the signs for Fiesta.  (It would later become a business in Indiana.)  I started to write songs for children in the public schools and I added sign language to them for my “Sing and Sign” programs at Valley View that I began to perform and teach in various schools.  My program was in many different cities that were within driving distance.  Mary and I did singing telegrams to raise money for a Girl Scout trip.  K of C members filled our schedule and she earned the cost of the trip.  Every year we were involved in Fiesta.

Mary and Seth both had made their First Reconciliation and Communion at I. C.  I wrote songs each year for the children that each class learned to sing and sign for their First Communion.  We were so involved with our parish family and school.  And most important we were a part of a community in which we loved and were loved.  Living in Duarte was a life experience that we never expected to have while being separated from all of our family.  It was a blessing way beyond our expectations.  It was the gift of a lifetime. It was a gift of love.

So our lives went on in Duarte, and we were super involved in church and school activities.  It was a good life for all of us.  Ollie joined the Knights of Columbus and became active in it.  They were a very friendly group and had many family activities.  They were men from I.C. and they were involved in doing charitable things for our community.  We joined a group called the Christian Family Movement.  Couples from church met regularly at different houses to have discussions.  Then we had family activities at different couples’ homes.  We would have holiday parties as families and other special occasions too.

A memorable activity was Santa and his elf making home visits.  Ollie (6ft 2in) was the elf.  Santa was considerably shorter!  They made visits to lots of houses.  Ollie started a Blood Drive at church.  To say we got involved would be an understatement.  We were happy and active and had made many good friends.

As I am writing about our lives in California, I realize how fortunate we were to have found everything we needed to have a good life.  We had everything but our families and friends in Indiana.  That was a big “something” that was missing.  But our lives were so busy and full of good things that we were happy.  We were blessed.

I wanted to pursue my singing and acting in some small way, even with all that we had going on.  I tried out for a musical entitled “El Shaddai.”  I got the part of Mary (the mother of Jesus) and the play ran 8 weeks.  It was a powerful piece and it had become a part of me.  After the show was over, I was able to perform the part of Mary at I.C. one time.  Then it was over.  However, it became a short musical drama that I would present many times when we came back to Indiana.  It was a part of me.  It was something I brought back home with me.  And it is still a part of me to this day, 24 years later.   

As life went on in California, we corresponded mostly by mail to our family and friends in Indiana.  Phone calls were extremely expensive, not like today.  So I wrote a lot of letters.  My mom and I wrote back and forth continuously.  She took it so very hard when we left them.  So did I, but I couldn’t let it affect my daily life.  We had deprived her and dad and Ollie’s folks of being there for them and being able to watch their grandchildren grow up.  They would miss all the important, memorable things that they would have been there for, such as 1st Communion, school activities like the Talent Shows and so many other activities and achievements.

Since we had come here, friends became the nearest thing to family.  We became quite close to the librarian, Helen, and we referred to her as the California grandmother.  After asking her to dinner one day, she became part of our family.  She attended many of the children’s activities and shared our special occasions.  She had no children of her own and she was so happy to be included in our family.  We felt exactly the same way.

We really missed our parents.  Of course we missed our family and friends back home.  At one point, I had become very homesick for all the people in my life that I missed.  I wrote so many letters and got a fraction of the replies I waited for in the mail.  I found a good counselor who helped me through this.  Being involved with so many activities at church and school had delayed my homesickness.  And then, finally, my parents were able to visit us.  That made a huge difference!  Then other family and friends were able to visit as time went on, and that made all the difference too.

As time went on, we met our neighbors, fellow parishioners and people from Valley View School.  I joined the PTA and got involved immediately.  There had been a Talent Show in the cafetorium which we had attended before school let out for the summer.  I knew that was something I could do the very first year.  I offered to direct and structure the show and was heartily welcomed to do it.  There were many other mothers that wanted to help.  I already had a lot of support from the start.  It would become a yearly activity put on by the PTA with more students getting involved each year.  

I was a cantor (song leader and soloist) and began to sing at the mass we attended. Ollie became a Eucharistic Minister.  In the spring, we worked at the fiesta.  I also became a 2nd grade teacher for CCD (religious education.)  Our lives were full.  We had fully immersed our family into a life of purpose and service in our community.  We had been welcomed in school and church and began to develop friendships.  

The kids learned to ride bicycles.  There was a park just blocks away.  They made friends at school and church.  Without knowing anyone when we arrived, we had been immersed into a wonderful community.  It was an opportunity to learn and grow.  It helped us feel like we had a new, different kind of family, as we were not related to anyone there.  Through church and school, we forged new friendships that would blossom and grow.

So now we were active in school and church,  we went to the library every Saturday and had an outing every Sunday after church.  Ollie and I had made some friends.  The kids were getting to know the other students and were making friends too.  We missed our family and friends back home in Indiana.  But we were making a life here.  It was a new beginning, a new life.