When you find yourself restless in bed, have you ever tried praying yourself to sleep?  I have.  It has saved me from many nights of worry and nervousness.  The things that often keep us up at night usually cannot be assuaged by rumination on the problem or problems.  It can, however, make the worrisome issue(s) much worse.  In my experience, ruminating does not tend to ever help my emotional distress.

So, some years ago, I decided to try praying the rosary because it can be like a mantra that has a soothing rhythm to it.  Other types of mantras or affirmations could also be helpful to people.  But for me, prayer has always had the power to transform my thoughts and feelings.  Repetitive prayer of any kind has the capacity to calm a person.  Other prayers can be just as helpful to others, I am sure.  I don’t have the answers of what will work for others.  This is just one way to pray.  I am only offering it as an example.  It is one that works for me.

I find it interesting to discover how different people cope with the difficult situations in their lives.  When we share our experiences, attempts and solutions, we can open our minds to the many, different possibilities.  Even in subjects that are concrete, such as math, opening our minds to different ways of solving a problem can be a useful comparison.  The way we approach all aspects of our lives is dependent on what we already know.  Sharing ideas and experiences can be helpful, or not, to others.  But it doesn’t hurt to put our ideas into the mix.

So, the question remains.  Have you ever tried praying yourself to sleep?  If you ever find yourself in a situation where nothing else is working, you just might want to give it a try.  If you do, I hope you will find it to be a positive solution for a restless night, as I have.  In my life experience, I have found that prayer always helps.

I love to write and was intrigued by the idea of writing a blog.  So, I did a search on the internet and found a site where I could ask questions and have someone to guide me through it.  After learning about it I decided to use WordPress.  It seemed easy and mostly it was just that.  At least starting up was doable.  I am still trying to figure out how to make my front page look better.  There are so many things to know about how to display my site.  But mostly, I just wanted to write and share my ideas with others.  

So I began to think of what I’d like to write about.  My list of topics has grown to 519 ideas and I still think of new ones.  As of today I have published 277 of them on my site.  This one’s for next Sunday, as I post one every week on that day.  The hard part is deciding the topic from my list.  If nothing grabs me, I usually can come up with a new, different topic.  I am amazed that I can continue to come up with new ones.  I never knew I could do this until I tried it.

It’s really all about sharing my thoughts and giving my take on a subject.  It is also about telling stories that come from my experiences.  Sometimes they are funny and some are quite serious.  I am just an “old chick” talking to myself and writing it down, by sharing my perspective of the lessons I have learned. Then I post it, hoping it will be interesting enough for people to read it.

Thankfully, enough people are reading it for me to continue doing this.  And I am grateful that some of them will take the time to comment or even just click on the “like” icon.  It makes me happy to communicate in this way, especially now, with a pandemic isolating me from my friends and family.  Please feel free to comment.  I promise to respond. And thank you for reading this.  Hope to hear from you soon!

I have always enjoyed, and even craved, looking forward to something.  It can be something as simple as anticipating a day off or a special meal.  I always look forward to having lunch with a friend at a restaurant because we can just sit and talk while other people wait on us.  It is an easy way of adding enjoyment to one’s life.  Just looking forward to savoring a favorite food is something I relish.

The reason looking forward to something is such a good thing to do is that it encompasses anticipation.  Anticipation always adds to the pleasure of the experience.  That’s why instant gratification is often disappointing.  It is beneficial to see that waiting can have the added bonus of excitement leading up to the anticipated thing or event. 

That is not to say that disappointment won’t ever occur when looking forward to something.  Things just don’t always go as planned.  But that is just the reality of life.  Disappointment is part of life too.  But to me, that only makes looking forward to something new, and having it happen, more gratifying.

Whenever I plan something I love to do, I always try to have a backup plan that I can use when things go wrong.  That way, if I don’t get to do or experience the planned event, I still will have a second alternative to counteract the disappointment.

When my children were very small, I always waited until the day of an outing or other activity I had planned because they were too young to understand that things can change at the last minute.  But as they grew older, and they were able to see the value of delayed gratification, they learned the benefit of looking forward to something.

As I get older, delayed gratification in the form of looking forward is part and parcel of my life now.  So many things can get in the way of the plans I make. But that is okay because I have learned if a person waits longer for something that was looked forward to, the enjoyment of it is that much more savored in the end.  It is one of the benefits of growing old.  And for that, I am eternally grateful.

There is power in forgiveness.  Forgiveness is at the very heart of peace.  This is because through forgiveness, we become free of the prison of resentment and the limits it places on our happiness.  This does not mean that one has to accept harmful behavior or make oneself a victim of it.  We can just refuse to give it power over our individual lives.

I remember reading or hearing it said that forgiveness is a gift that a person gives to oneself.  This makes perfect sense in that it relieves that person from the burden of bad feelings and even trauma.  Holding on to a hurt or slight or whatever insult may be involved is a grief a person need not bear.  Sometimes it is a betrayal of a confidence or grievous suffering caused by an individual.  This is not at all easy and may take time to accomplish.  But it is something one does for oneself, not the perpetrator.

In my own life, when I have felt hurt or betrayed I have often fallen into the trap of resentment.  It is so easy to do this.  But there are times when a person must feel the pain deeply in order to let go of it.  It is oftentimes necessary, just to get it out of one’s system.  Before you let go of the pain, you must go through it to get to the other side of it.  Then you can allow forgiveness to heal you.  The point is not to let it fester and affect other parts of your life and take away your joy.  No one can take your peace of mind away from you unless you allow it.

I have found this out for myself, the hard way.  Every time you let another person control your feelings indefinitely, you have let your power be stolen from you.  But we also must remember that the gift of peace can always be claimed if only we are brave enough to forgive and sometimes, even to forgive oneself.

There are times in our lives when it is prudent to agree to disagree with other people.  Sometimes, this kind of agreement must be made in families, simply to keep peace in the conversations we have with the people we love.  If members of our families disagree with us on specific issues, we are wise to make ground rules for especially sensitive conversational topics.  Sometimes it is best to avoid the subject entirely.  However, at other times, when it is necessary to talk about something and it’s clear that there is clearly a difference of opinion, making ground rules a wise thing to do.

Facts are not disputable.  However, if one of the parties does not believe a fact to be true, there is no point in talking about it.  Rifts can be very damaging in our relationships with family and friends.  In fact they can do grave harm.  Agreeing to disagree can prevent this from happening.

In situations with other people, not family or friends, it is also very important to pick your battles.  Regardless of the outcome, when conflict is looming and unpredictable in nature, backing off may be the best thing to do.  There is no point in aggravating an already tense situation.  This is the time for agreeing to disagree, even if it’s only in one’s mind.

In less aggravated situations, a discussion can happen between two people with widely different opinions.  This can be an edifying occasion in which individuals can learn from one another.  It can even turn into the first step in forming a relationship that is beneficial to both parties.

Whether with family, friends or other people, respect is essential when engaging in a vital conversation.  By respecting a point of view or experience that other persons have, we may discover that it is easier to agree about some things.  Perhaps it could even lead to a favorable negotiation, thereby finding something mutually satisfactory.

If a person can hold an opinion, keep an open mind, and respectfully and actively listen to an opposing perspective, there is always a chance that a peaceful compromise can occur.  But if that is rendered impossible, we can always decide to agree to disagree.