As I get older, I find myself noticing the shifting perspectives of life.  Some are obvious, such as the way a child looks at the world.  When we are children and we see new things, our objective is one of constant learning.  We are like little sponges, soaking up information almost constantly.  It is a perspective born of curiosity and the desire to learn new things.

With age and maturity, we develop our own mindset in terms of the environment we live in as well as the perspectives of other people close to us in our daily routines.  Depending on what kind of person one aspires to be, and the effect of one’s chosen vocation, people find their viewpoints geared to learning about one’s chosen profession.

In each stage of life, there can be perspectives growing and changing in a myriad of ways.  When we want to learn something new, we devour information about that which we want to know more about.  That, in turn, changes our view with that new information.  Every time we add to our bank of knowledge, it informs our mind to pursue different avenues of thought.  That new information can change our perspective immediately.

The more we learn and grow in understanding of ourselves, others, and new information, the more our brains grow in capacity.  That is why a significant event has the power to change one’s outlook in an instant!

As much as we hope that our mental health will not diminish, if it does happen, there will be a dramatic change in our frame of mind.  Experiences we grow through are undoubtedly a main factor in shifting perspectives.

Shifting perspectives are significant factors in our daily lives.  If we are stuck in an idea or way of looking at our world, it may be a good thing to learn more about it.  Opening our minds and hearts to learning more can only help us improve our perspective on anything.

I have no idea why these words appeared in my mind.  But I think it is a sign for me to concentrate on and be grateful for all the goodness that is around me, always there, even when I don’t see it.   First of all, it is my job to see the goodness which always exists, and then let it fill me with gratitude.

I can clearly remember reading a book about a woman in a concentration camp who was able to find joy in the midst of all the horror of that place.  I can’t remember the title of the book, but I will never forget that woman.  I think about her when I get depressed about trivial things that really are nothing more than inconveniences.  If I can remember that in times of depression, it helps me put things in perspective.

If I just keep a mental list of all the good in my life, then maybe it can be an antidote that I can carry with me to thwart negativity.  Gathering goodness can become a goal.  It is January 2nd as I write this, and it occurs to me that this is a great time to make a commitment to “gather the goodness” on a daily basis.  Even if I should miss a day or two due to unforeseen circumstances, it will not matter much.  It is, after all, a new habit that must be included into my psyche.  And that takes time.

It is just a matter of time.  That phrase rings true, doesn’t it?  As with any important venture, time is a factor.  But, the things that matter the most to us are the very same things we can take for granted.  If we make it a goal to say, “gather the goodness” to begin each day, it could be just the thing to make this year the best one yet. 

Being human beings, we tend to think of things in categories such as boxes.  Even if a person thinks that this is not true for them, it doesn’t mean it is not so.  In fact the lines around the boxes can be so unobtrusive, as to barely be noticed in one’s mind.  But that is often an indication that they have just gone ignored or unacknowledged.  And it can be very helpful to have things in categories, so to speak.

The problem with this is that many answers to a problem are not even considered.  In those situations, one may only consider the possible answers that reside in a particular box.  That’s why thinking outside of the box can allow the mind to wander a bit.  Such “wandering” can even be seen as an adventure.

I have discovered this to be true.  I may not always be on the path to a solution.  However, it opens my mind to new possibilities.  And I think, opening one’s mind, even if not helpful at the time, can be beneficial in the long run.  

Sometimes, we don’t even realize that we have boxes.  That’s when our thoughts, and sometimes our prejudices, have been a box so long that they have entrenched themselves to the walls around them. Of course some of the boxes may just be trivial things, such as trying out new foods.  But nonetheless, it’s a box that remains closed, unless a person ventures to attempt something new.

Activities outside one’s comfort zone are the most difficult to discover.  The things we are scared of can be quite frightening just by thinking about them.  But to be successful at doing something that scares us, the discovery of this is worth the effort.  We may even find that being unsuccessful at a first attempt can give us the impetus to try again.  Either way, the experience can teach a person something new about oneself.  I tend to think that stepping outside the box is a journey worth taking.  What do you think?

I have found that sometimes, when in doubt about something, it can be useful to stay in a state of uncertainty and think about all the possibilities of your decision or actions.  Rather than trying to come to a hasty conclusion or plan of action, careful consideration of the question in mind can bring a far more suitable answer to what you are questioning.  This can also even save time in the long-run.  And it can be more beneficial by coming to a well-thought out answer to your query.

Thinking deeply about the important decisions we make is always a good idea, especially when it affects other people’s lives in some way. “Hasty” is rarely a good word to describe any decision-making.  Even in small decisions, if there is doubt, it is there in your mind for a reason. 

If one does not consider answers carefully, it can be seen as if one does not value another person’s interest in your opinion.  This is truly unfortunate because it demonstrates that it is of no consequence to you whether they are interested in your response.

In other situations, a bad decision can cost you, and possibly others, financial distress.  It can cost one’s reputation to be tarnished or even damaged beyond repair.

Doubts about anything, are there in your mind for a reason.  Until a person discovers what that reason is, careful, conscientious consideration is in order.  There is no such thing as being too careful in decision-making.

Sometimes it is okay to be doubtful.  In situations with family and those close to us, silent, active listening can ease the doubt in other people’s minds.  Just being there for another person can help him or her make an important decision by easing their doubts.  Either way, with ourselves and those close to us, doubts can be lessened and better decisions made, just by staying in that state for a while.

After grieving the loss of my father, my son, and now my mother, I find that I am still learning about grief.  Every time I have grieved, it has been different and yet the same in many ways.  I know the stages of grief and how they have manifested themselves in my life thus far.  There is no way to predict how each loss affects a person.

I have found that for me, the only way to survive the losses in my family, has been to let the grief pour over me.  You cannot stop it from happening.  No amount of resistance will keep you safe from it.  You can postpone it by refusing to let it go through you.  And you can even make it so difficult that you will carry it for the rest of your life.

But I have come to believe that there is something one can call “good grief.”  Good grief is being able to allow the process to happen.  Let it make you cry, scream, curse, or be angry.  Get it out of your system!  But try not to despair.  Try not to take it out on others.  Let people help you.

I realize that I am so unfamiliar with many of the negative reactions one can have when facing grief.  I don’t know what it’s like to have unresolved issues or bad relationships with those I have lost.  I can’t imagine what that is like and have no business even talking about that kind of grief.  But professional help can be good for any of us and especially those who must deal with conflicted relationships, or worst of all, abuse.  That is something I don’t understand and can’t imagine.  Seeking help would seem to be the only recourse.

And going to counseling is something I have done many times and in many ways for the difficult times of my life.  There are other griefs that do not involve death.

“Living griefs” is how I refer to them.  These griefs can rarely, sometimes never, be resolved.  But one can learn to cope and bear them with help.

One thing is certain. A person will probably not go through life without experiencing some kind of grief.  That’s because grief is a part of life that is attached to every person.  It’s part of being human.  And, if one thinks about it, having someone to grieve is a gift.  For if we lose someone we love, grief is a natural part of that love when they are gone.  And I for one, would never wish it otherwise.