I have been one to collect “keepsakes” for most of my life.  Keepsakes include photos and especially cards if they were made by my children.  But I have many, many cards and letters which I’ve saved for a very long time.  

It used to be that telephone calls were so expensive, if they were long distance, and letters and cards were the way we communicated.  I was a fabulous correspondent and I had saved cards and letters for years.

So, they were packed up in large totes and stored with many other things, and I thought that maybe I had gotten rid of them. It had been so long since I had seen them, decades in fact.  So when we decided to take them out of storage, that’s when I found the totes, 6 of them.

They included things the kids had made, and evidence of the committees and projects I had been involved in while they were in elementary school.  We lived in California for 7 years.  I was determined to stay in touch with the people we left behind in Indiana, and I wrote many, many letters.  Therefore, I had many, many responses to my letters.  My mom wrote to me at least once or twice a week.  And I had saved all of them.

Christmas cards were in large envelopes marked with the year they had been sent to us.  I looked at every piece of mail and decided to save some of them.  In the end, I threw away the contents of 4 totes and am down to 2 of the 6.  It’s taken me two full days to do it.

Now some people may think that I was silly to save so much stuff.  But these were treasures I thought were long gone and there had been times when I had missed them and wondered what I had done with them.

My mother’s letters from the time we lived in California, letters from my long-time pen pal, correspondence with many other friends, the kid’s artwork and some of their school work were all so special to me.   I even had a term paper from college that had made me especially proud.

I think it would have been a real shame had I not found these precious memories, while I can still enjoy them.  Who knows whether I would have been capable of going through these treasures in the future.

Soon, I am going to sift through them again, and perhaps, read and pitch some of the cards and letters out.  But each time, I will have enjoyed a memory again, and that’s why keepsakes are treasures worth saving in the first place.

“You’ve got to get it out of your system,” said my mom whenever I was stressed and upset, or sad and conflicted.  When I would come to her with worries or sadness or confusion, or anything really, she would just sit and listen to me.  She didn’t offer advice or tell me what to do, or tell me that I was in some way wrong about the way I was feeling.  And that was exactly what I needed.

Getting something out of one’s system can be treacherous if there isn’t anyone to just listen.  If all those feelings stay stuck inside, there is no relief.  It has to come out or one’s emotions can explode inside a person.  It can cause mental and even physical reactions that can be harmful. That’s one of the reasons why people go to counselors and psychiatrists.

But just having someone listen, without judgment, is therapeutic.  And I have to say, it can almost feel miraculous.  I have gone to counselors many times in my life and it has always helped me figure things out for myself.  That’s what can happen with good counseling.  But not all counselors are created equal.  You have to be a good consumer, even with, perhaps especially with, help for one’s emotional needs. 

I have been an advocate for getting good counseling when one needs it, for years.  There is nothing wrong with seeking help for emotional stress.  In fact, it is one of the healthiest things to do.  Mental strength comes from the perspective that everyone needs help sometimes.  If a person goes to the doctor for medical help, without judgment, why do people feel the need to judge others that have mental concerns?  I believe that this negative point of view comes from a fear of being judged.

So, I have decided that getting something negative out of one’s system is a logical thing to do.  It is no different than seeking help for a medical issue.  This is because “getting something out of one’s system” is a very positive, healthy thing to do.  Mom was most definitely right!

Infinity is an indeterminate amount of time.  In fact, it goes on forever.  Could there be anything more unmeasurable?  And yet,  we use this term to describe and measure things.  We often use this term figuratively, not literally.  But in fact there are definitions in various disciplines that use this term to describe things.

In regard to numbers, infinity is an idea.  It’s an idea of something without end.  Math has so many uses for infinity that it boggles the mind.  One of these is the fact that ⅓ is finite, but when written as a decimal it becomes o.333333…etc.  So which one is it?  It seems to be both when presented in these different forms.  But is it?  Can it be both?

In another example,  it is supposed that there is an infinite number of odd and even numbers, but at the same time only a half of the known numbers is odd, and only a half is even ones. Some scientists are totally convinced that the universe is infinite, but at the same time some believe that it is actually not. 

According to (www.infinitysymbol.net), 

 “The infinity symbol (∞) represents a line that never ends. The common sign for infinity, ∞, was first used by John Wallis, an English mathematician who lived and worked in the 17th century. He also introduced 1/∞ for an infinitesimal which is so small that it can’t be measured.

   The infinity sign is also sometimes called the Lemniscate. Both are believed to be coming from the number 8 sign. This number symbolizes eternity, balance and cosmic order. The number 8 has always been a very important symbol in many ancient cultures, especially in the Far East.”
It stands to reason that this symbol is used in jewelry, to be worn as a display of unending love from someone.  I do believe that symbols can be powerful.  As a symbol of eternal love, this symbol,  ∞ seems to fit the bill.

I have always appreciated it when people have been welcoming and friendly to me.  Especially when one is young and shy, a person tends to be fearful of not being accepted or included when around strangers.  I was like that and so I know how that feels.  Therefore, as I became an adult I seized the opportunity to be friendly to newcomers, whenever and however the situation presented itself.

I find that whenever I try to put myself in another persons’ shoes, there are many different ways one can be welcoming to that person.  It is especially important when one witnesses someone who is in distress.  There, the opportunity to make a difference reveals itself.  We can choose to be friendly and kind to that person.  But it is so important to be aware of the facial expressions and body language of the person in distress in order to determine an appropriate response.  However, sometimes just a look of concern can communicate your desire to be of help.

I have found that in my dealings with strangers, just the facial expression of each new person tells a story.  That expression is also a clue for how to approach this individual.  And there are times when it is clear that any communication with this individual will be unwelcome.  Then one must walk away.

Most of the time, my encounters with strangers have been very positive.  There have even been times where a conversation leads to a friendship.  This has happened to me.  And for that, I am very grateful.

It is not always wise to approach another person.  If you are in unfamiliar surroundings, or do not feel comfortable around a person, do not approach or even have eye contact with them.  Your feelings are often an indication of whether what is happening is a good or bad situation.

Most of the time, being friendly is a really positive and satisfying thing for me to be.  It’s okay if others do not feel this way.  Everyone of us is a unique person.  And that is a very good thing.

A Burden of Love

Upon hearing the word “burden,” what does it mean to you?  One tends to think of burdens in a totally negative way.  But this does not need to be so.  There are many definitions and ways to perceive our burdens.

When one has children, as babies, we carry them around and they become heavy, a load so to speak.  That is a burden, by definition, as one of the many meanings of this word.  Another synonym is responsibility.  That is just part of taking care of one’s family and being a responsible adult.  Whether this is a burden or not has to do with the attitude of the adult(s) who have this responsibility.

I will never forget the time when my mother had to move to my brother’s house after a serious fall.  After that happened she could not have stayed at home. She would not have been able to maneuver her walker into the bathroom because of the way the cabinets were designed there. We were going to be with her either way, but couldn’t ensure her safety there.  She wanted to be independent at home, but it just wasn’t a good idea.  After being in the hospital for 10 days over Christmas, she moved into his home which was a large ranch and she could walk easily anywhere she chose.  My sister-in-law had the room ready for her before she left the hospital.

After we moved her in, a service was provided that brought an occupational therapist, a physical therapist and their supervisor for rehabilitation.  As the supervisor was talking to her, my mom said, “I just don’t want to be a burden.”  To which the woman replied, something like, “Of course we are all burdens to our families in one way or another.”  I think she was trying to say that it was just part of life and that it was my brother’s and my responsibility to take care of her now.  And we were so very happy that we could be there for her.  It gave me a different perspective to this word I had never thought about before.  My brother, sister-in-law and I never even considered the fact that she could be a burden at all.  We were happy to be able to be there for her as she had always been for us.

The fact is, that there are different kinds of burdens, both negative and positive.  It all has to do with the attitude and perception each individual has about each one.  If caring for my mother was to be called a burden, then the only way to describe it would be a burden of love.  And that is a burden I gladly bear for those whom I love, especially for my mother who bore me into this world.