I have a friend who knows everything about me.  We went to kindergarten together at one school and continued to go to the same schools from there to elementary school, high school, to college in town and then to college away from home.  She knows more about me than just about everyone.  And I can tell her anything and everything without a thought as to whether or not she will repeat it.  I know my secrets are safe with her.

I can empty my soul, share my mistakes and spill my emotions.  My tears and laughter, my fears, my triumphs, all are stored in her open mind and tender heart.  I fear that I am not as good a friend to her as she is to me.  But I try not to think about it.  I don’t feel worthy of her friendship, even though she would object if I told her this.  I hope and pray that I have been there for her.

She is a true introvert and I am an extreme extrovert.  I’d like to think that we compliment each other.  I hope that I have always been there for her as she has always been for me.  She is not apt to tell me all the things that happen to her as I do.  I pray that she will call on me when she needs to talk or just to be there with her.  I hope that I have been in the past.  She needs to know that I would always want to be there for her as she has been there for me. 

We have fun when we do things together.  Being with her is always a joy.  Her laughter is wonderful and contagious, just like my mother’s.  And that is the highest compliment I can give.  Surely I am blessed beyond belief.  She is a treasure of inestimable value, and I am so grateful.  We are, and always have been, friends for life.  Nothing could be better than that.

Challenges tend to grow exponentially as we age.  Beyond the aches and pains and other insults and injuries, we begin to lose the people we depend upon for services.  Whether they retire, move away or become deceased, sooner or later it transpires and we are left with the problem of replacing them.  It happens with doctors, dentists, counselors, handymen, plumbers and mechanics.  I am sure I could go on and on with the titles of professions we regularly call to solve our problems.  But the question of how we approach the process of finding new ones is a daunting one.

Worse yet, the tasks we regularly do for ourselves become more difficult or even impossible to do the way we used to do.  And so we must find help for cleaning and yard work and minor repairs.  What are we to do?

Some of the answers to that query are:  

1. Ask your professionals for a referral. 
2. Ask your close friends and family.
3. Message your other friends on social media. 
4. Google it for suggestions.  (There are sites that do exactly that.)

But, let’s face it.  It’s never going to be the same.  Sometimes, if you are very fortunate, you will find someone just as good.  Surprisingly, once in a while, you will even find someone better than the person you had for the service you need.  But the fact remains, that as we age, so do the people we rely on, and that is a really difficult pill to swallow.

I love all my doctors and a friend of mine thought that was unbelievable.  But, if I don’t love my doctors, I don’t stay with them.  That is what makes it so devastating when I am no longer able to see them.  Still, when all is said and done, aging is just a natural part of living.  And we just have to accept it and move on.  But we don’t have to like it!

As I have become much older, I have begun to think of questions I should have asked when my parents were still alive.  I will never find the answer to any of these, because they are no longer here to answer.  Why didn’t I ask my mom or my dad these questions?  Was it because I thought they’d live forever?  Or was it because I just hadn’t thought of the questions yet?

Maybe it is just something we don’t consider when we can have contact with them every day, if we wish to do so.  Even if we are far away in proximity, we can communicate instantly by talking on the phone or even having the possibility of seeing them on Facetime .

I was fortunate enough to have a lot of time with my mom, staying with her in the daytime for over 2 years before she passed.  She was sharp as a tack and remembered things that I couldn’t remember.  I could have asked her anything and everything and she would have had an answer.  My dad died 30 years before that and it hadn’t even occurred to me to ask about such things yet.

Now, I wish I had asked her about her childhood and her adult life before I was born.  I know a lot, but somehow, I wish I knew more.  Maybe that’s why I never asked about it.  I could have been satisfied with what I knew. 

I really wish I knew more about my grandparent’s lives.  I knew some basic facts but now I crave the details of how they felt about the events and circumstances of their lives.  I don’t know if I would have even known how to ask them.  But they all immigrated to the United States and I wish I knew their stories.

I guess this is a message I would like to give the younger generation.  Ask questions about your family’s life stories while you are young.  You will appreciate them more and more as you grow older.  After all, you wouldn’t even be here without them.

I am thinking about the past year and am trying to put together a perspective that remembers all of the positive things that happened and try to learn from the mistakes that I have made.  This takes time and careful consideration.

In the next year, I need to remember to ask myself if what I am doing at any given time is kind, necessary, or even just plain worth doing at all.  Each year, as I grow older, I realize more and more how precious each moment can be.  I need to look inward more, engage in meaningful conversation more, and most importantly, try to find ways to love more.  This is critical to the creation and maintenance of a humane world.

Living with purpose, making each minute count for something, is part of why we are here.  Moments do not have to be doing something.  Sometimes, “not doing” is what is required.  Whatever I do or don’t do, I must find ways of doing it with deliberation.  Consciousness gives action its value.

I ask that we share our ideas with each other about how to make this world a friendlier place.  Time spent doing that helps each of us become a better listener and a nicer person.  If I can look inside myself and see the prejudices I most certainly have, some of which I may not even be aware of as yet, I will have a chance of improving by becoming more honest with myself and more understanding of others.

Today is the beginning of a new day, a new year, a challenge to grow and improve my character.  I welcome all the assistance I can get to do this more successfully.  Today, this new year, I ask for your guidance.  If we support and cooperate with each other, our small corner of the world will blossom with hope for a brighter future and an excellent new year. 

There are many gifts of love that one can give another person.  The holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions are not the only times we give gifts.  In fact, of all the gifts there are to give, time itself may be the greatest one of all.  To me, it is the one I treasure the most in my life.  “Being there” with someone is an extraordinary gift because it comes from the heart and soul.

Expensive gifts that a person can see, cost money.  One must possess some disposable income in order to give these gifts.  A person can give these gifts and because they are tangible, they can be seen by anyone.  But the most precious gifts cannot be seen in this way.  One has to be present physically to observe and experience these gifts.  This is not to say that monetary gifts are inferior.  Sometimes they can provide what is greatly needed.  They are just different.  Whatever one gives to another person, the most important thing is the intention in one’s heart.

In our society, we have come to a point where face to face interaction can be avoided.  We can use devices to send tangible gifts without any other interaction.  But when push comes to shove a person craves the company of another human being.  A hug, an ear to listen, just one’s physical presence can be the gift a person treasures the most.  I know that this is true for me.  And I have had the experience of being the receiver of this precious gift in the most difficult days of my life.

When one faces a tragic loss, tangible gifts, such as cards and flowers are very much appreciated, especially when distance is a factor.  But having the physical presence of a loved one, a friend, a person of faith can make a profound, positive difference in the life of a person in distress.

Grief, illness, loneliness and depression can be lessened by the company of a family member or friend.  The touch of a hand or a hug, if that person wants or needs it, can be the most precious gift of all.

Prayer is a powerful gift that can be given from afar when one cannot be physically present.  In all the possible gifts one can give, whatever is given in love is the most powerful and lasting.  For these are the ones that continue to bless us long after the time they are given.  They live on in memories, and in one’s heart and can last forever.