It seems I have been throwing kisses most of my life.  Even after I had become an adult, mom and I, after actual hugs and kisses at the door, would still throw kisses with her in the doorway and me at the curb by my car.  Just one last bit of love to accentuate the departure.  We were just that way.  Hugs and kisses were a part of our daily rituals, punctuating our bedtimes, comings and goings.  We were an affectionate family.  What more can I say?

So, as I began my family with my husband, we did the same thing.  I was the one who just naturally started it, as it was not the custom in his family.  My mother was Italian.   Need I say more?

And so, this (wonderful, to me, anyway) habit continued and as time went on I added the “I love you” hand shape from American sign language.  These additions to our greetings and departures expanded again when my young daughter decided to add the throwing of “ooh’ hugs.”  The “ooh hugs” were a combination of a self-hug while saying ooh out loud as the hug was thrown out to the recipient.  That was an entirely new addition to our ritual.  Needless to say, this was just done with family members.

Years later, when I had grandchildren, they decided to add something quite original to this gesture.  When my brother and his wife went out of town we drove by quite often and watched over the house while they were gone.  Each time we drove by, they would throw hugs and kisses at the house.  And so we had to ask them why they did it.  And they said, “So they will get them when they come home.”  Isn’t that the sweetest thing?

So, you can see the value that gestures can have in our lives.  Now that she is no longer here to witness it, I wonder if my mom can see us continuing these rituals from heaven.  I hope so.  If she can, I am sure it brings a smile to her face and a tiny tug on her heart.  She started it and so it continues. Isn’t that wonderful?

Even though nobody asked, I am going to tell you why I kept old letters.  I don’t know exactly why, except somehow I knew I would like to read them again someday, perhaps after many years.

So after moving and packing up things from the many years I had been an avid letter-writer, I discovered them again after storing them the last 34 years without opening the bins they had inhabited.  I didn’t realize just how many I had kept until I began to go through cards and programs, and other things I had kept.  I could discard some of those things, but not the letters.

Since then, I have only read a few, but what a wonderful experience it has been, each time I’ve opened one of those envelopes.  Every piece of mail is a window into the past, with events and feelings, and relationships I had so many years ago.  Some of the writers have passed away now, making each letter even more precious.  To have something tangible in my hand that was touched by that person and written by them, with all their thoughts and feelings encased in an envelope is a priceless treasure.  It’s my personal time capsule that was buried with other special treasures from the people I love and have loved in the past.

These treasures are windows into my relationships and the events of my life.  We think we have forgotten many of the things that happened with different friends and family over the years.  But many of those memories can just be asleep. And they can be awakened just by opening the envelope and reading an old letter saved for just that moment.

I have never been sorry that I kept them.  It was worth all the packing and moving them around and storing them over the years.  They are a part of my legacy, and I am so grateful.

One should never underestimate the power of prayer.  Even if a person has never done this in their life with their families or other sources, it must be experienced to understand.  A person must first be open to the possibility of this experience having an effect on one’s psyche. If any person has not had the experience of praying as a child, it may be more difficult to feel the effect because our adult minds can block anything, if we are not open to it.

There are many sources of prayer and kinds of prayer, but in my opinion, all that is required is an open mind and an open heart.  And even if one is not fully committed to the process, it doesn’t matter.  All any person can do is try.  If it isn’t working, try again.  Being born into a family that prays is the easiest way to learn, because it is part of the environment in the home.

I have written prayers for myself to say everyday.  I pray for the people in my life, for those I love so dearly and like so much and for those I don’t like and have trouble loving. I mention by name those I have promised to pray for (on a list) and pray for those who have no one to pray for them.  When one thinks about it, so many people and causes and world issues need prayers.  I pray for those people and situations that I don’t remember or have never thought about praying for in the past.  Everyone needs prayer, whether or not they believe in it.  It is always, at the very least, a positive intention which is good for anyone.  If you project love out into the world, it can not do harm, but it may do good.  It’s worth the effort just because it is possible.

And so,  I pray that my words are in some way beneficial, even if you don’t believe in prayer.  Perhaps, it will just be something to think about, and maybe experience later on.  For this I pray.  Amen.

The lesson of learning to share is a difficult one.  But it is infinitely easier for children, especially when they are young and haven’t been exposed to selfishness.  If a parent can model generous behavior and encourage their children to see things from another person’s point of view, children grow up thinking this way.

“Spoiling” children is just exactly what happens when a child is not raised to think this way.  It is so unfortunate and harmful to our children if we do not teach them empathy.  Sharing carries the feeling of having more than enough even if it is not a lot.  It doesn’t need to be material either.  Generosity of our spiritual self enables us to be compassionate.  Being there with someone who is sad, or hurt is a profound gift to share with another person.

Unfortunately, sharing is most often thought to be a material gift.  But material things, even when given with sincere affection, are fleeting.  When a material gift is given, it may be something that can be broken or become worn out.  But if that gift is given with love and that love is received and accepted with gratitude, that sharing is what matters most of all.  Things can get broken or wear out, but good feelings live on in our minds and hearts.

I believe that feelings are the things that can stay with us for the rest of our lives.  Sharing our loving feelings with others in friendship is a gift that never fades away.  Bad feelings also stay with us and can be destructive in many ways.

Leo Buscaglia, in his book, The Way of the Bull, experienced the generosity of impoverished people, who were willing to share everything they had with him.  And they were so happy to do this.  It was a profound example of how what we feel and what we think determines our attitude and behavior.  When put this way, the value of generosity is by far the better way to live, as its rewards are a happy life.  What more could anyone want?                                                          

I have been having memory issues for some time now.  But now it is beginning to scare me.  The only “up” side to that is that I recognise the fact that it is happening and that is certainly better than not being aware of it.  Also, as I recall, I have written about this topic before.  In fact I know I have.  That is of some consolation, but it doesn’t ease my fear that someday this will be true.  

This is not what I expected would happen, as my mother retained both short and long term memory even up to her passing at the age of 94.  And it is possible that this loss is situational, as I have suffered the loss of 2 of my dearest friends in the last month and a half.  

I am going to go to my doctors and get some advice and or referrals for help.  I have asked for referrals in the past, only to find that the doctors were retired or moved away.  But I will try again.  Maybe I will need to travel, but I am retired.  At least that is a possibility. 

What I need to do now is just be grateful that I am aware of what is happening.  Maybe I can do something to stop this condition from worsening.  Count your blessings Lora!  It is not hopeless yet!

These difficult situations stand as a reminder to be grateful because there are always, always things to appreciate in our lives, even if they may be hard to find.  Gratitude is a worthy goal to pursue at all times.  And having a positive attitude can make all the difference.

Writing these things down helps me to remember what is important and gives me the impetus to find some possible solutions to my problems.  It’s like a template or a path to follow.  Hopefully, by choosing this path, I can thwart the fear from overwhelming me.  I do feel better just thinking this way.  Hallelujah!