Category Archives: Communicating

Love and Marriage (written October 6, 2017)

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Well, today is my 44th Wedding Anniversary, so I thought I’d write about this experiment that some of us choose to endeavor.  I say “experiment” because when a person undertakes the prospect of living with someone for the rest of his or her life, there is no way of knowing what the future will be, and yet, you promise to go through it all with this person.

As for me, I remember having a plan for my life.  I was going to have a career first, then after I was established, in my mid 30’s, I’d marry and have a family.  I was young then, and didn’t know anything about how all that would work out.  It was just a scenario I had played in my mind and it seemed reasonable.  Little did I know about how unlikely it would be to find someone I wanted to date, let alone, marry, if I started looking in my mid 30’s.

But then, I fell in love with my best friend.  Soon, it was clear that my plan had changed.  And so, we married.  We were young, in love and happy.  We had children, a girl and a boy.  They were happy and healthy.  We were so blessed.   

We still are.  And yet, we have had hard times.  We have struggled.  I often think of the times when money was tight. Life was tough, but we were still happy.  We were in it together and together we made it work.  Those were the days we found out what we were made of.  Those are some of my fondest memories.

Time passed and challenges came and went.  We got through them with various degrees of pain and suffering.  Our fathers died.  We grieved them terribly.  Our first grandchild was born and we were there to witness it.  Unbelievable joy and wonder filled our souls.  Our son died. Horrible grief gripped us and clouded our joy.  It was the hardest thing we had to face and suffer.  We survived, but not unscathed.  We eventually healed.  And we grew.

And so, we continue to live this life with which we have been blessed.  Now we have 3 grandchildren.  And life goes on.  And we go through it all . . . together.

 

Writer’s Block

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When I was thinking about what I wanted to write about this week, nothing “grabbed me,” so to speak.  I still have lists of topics that I created for myself, but nothing said, “Write about me!” This . . . .is . . . a . . .nightmare!  Just kidding.

in a way, this reminds me of my problem with memory loss,.  I actually forgot to decide on a topic earlier this week.  Sunday is a self-imposed deadline for my blog post.  I only let myself down if I don’t make the deadline.  But, these self-imposed expectations are important.  Letting oneself down is worse than letting others down because you have to live with yourself.  I guess today is really a bonafide “random rambling.”  That is my domain name, after all.

So why do I want to write a blog in the first place?  Well, I just like to share my point of view, or perhaps start a conversation on paper.  Sometimes I am talking to myself.  And sometimes I am inviting the reader to engage in a conversation.  Either way, it satisfies my need to communicate with others.

Openness is important to me.  Engaging with others is equally important.  Communication is necessary in this life.  So, doesn’t it help us to practice this skill?  It sure does beat physical confrontation, which usually is counterproductive to any human discourse.

So what do you want to talk about?  Really!  What would you like to discuss?  Please let me know.  I would love to write about it.  And then, we can have a conversation in the comments. And if other people should want to join in the conversation, the more the merrier!  

I am not putting you on.  If you are reading this, I am talking to you.  Please respond.  I have a list of topics, but I want to know what you, the reader, is interested in.  The ball is in your court. It is time for you to make the first move.  I am eagerly awaiting your reply.

I Don’t Want To Be Political

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I do not want to be political.  I prefer to stay out of political discussions, because at this time in the history of my existence, I have found these conversations to either be full of camaraderie or vitriol based on whether someone agrees or disagrees with you.

The problem with conversations about politics, is that when people are so diametrically opposed on different points, civil discussion is impossible.  I have heard friends of mine speak of the animosity between family members when they are trying to celebrate holidays, because of their different political views.  Thankfully, I do not have that problem in my immediate family because we agree with each other.  (Sigh.)

Political parties are unable to compromise with each other.  There is no true governmental process going on due to the fact that people feel so strongly that they are right and the other person is wrong.  They do not want to discuss issues with one another.  They do not want to listen to the other side.  Compromise is impossible without listening.

And then there are the political websites that make like-minded people band with each other to vilify the opposing faction.  And there are right and left news outlets as well.  Those with the most money often win elections because they have the power to jam  the airwaves with their brand of propaganda.  Ads and websites and news outlets stretch the truth and sometimes even lie to put their ideas into the heads of the viewers.  It’s a tactic that was used by anti-communist Senator McCarthy, to lie to the public, and then if necessary retract those false statements because the retraction would be put on a back page of the newspaper. He knew that the first statement in the headlines would stick in people’s minds when they were plastered on the front page.  Retractions were rarely seen until it was too late for people wrongly accused to gain their lives back.  Lives were ruined because of his false statements.

Unfortunately, ads are rarely fact-checked.  In fact, most people don’t even want to check them out.  People prefer to think that the facts are right when they agree with them or would just like disregard those things that don’t agree with them.

I have my feelings and opinions about the issues but am not going to share them here, because that is not what this blog is about.  But, if the opportunity arises where a forum of participants would agree to listen to each other and seriously try to understand each other, I would welcome the chance to do so.  We are all in this together, like it or not.  I’d like to think that good people on both sides of the political spectrum would work together for the good of all.

Colloquialisms

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I decided to “look up” colloquialism to see how many definitions I could find.   Merriam-Webster is always my first “go to” place.  The definition listed was: “a word or phrase that is not formal or literary, typically one used in ordinary or familiar conversation.”  However, when I checked its thesaurus, there were no synonyms.  Thesaurus.com however, had “oodles” of them, probably the most commonly used ones were idiom, jargon and slang, each with a slew of words under each of these categories.  

Thesaurus.com’s synonym list was endless, so it puzzled me to find that Merriam-Webster had no such list.  So I searched it again and found that the thesaurus was actually poking fun at the word “colloquialism,” itself.  “Check it out “and see for yourself.

I find that very amusing to think that a major reference such as Merriam-Webster would do this. I’d appreciate another opinion, if anyone would care “look it up.”  Please tell me your opinion, if you do. Word lovers want to know these things.

So, you’re probably thinking, “What is she ‘going on’ about?” That’s the point, isn’t it?  American English is so “riddled “with colloquialisms, that one “bumps into them” even while researching them!

When I first decided to use this as a topic, what had come to my mind, were old sayings from past generations.  Phrases like “smooth as a school marm’s leg”  and “born tired and never got rested” sprung to mind.  These were phrases used by my husband’s grandfather.

Some of my favorite idioms, that are listed on websites, that confuse people who are trying to learn English as a second language, are “costs an arm and a leg,” “kill two birds with one stone,” “not playing with a full deck,” “take it with a grain of salt,” and steal someone’s thunder.”

And when it comes to slang, I only know ones like, “by the skin of your teeth,” drive up the wall,” “piece of cake,” and “plead the fifth.”  The current slang is foreign to me.  I am “in the dark” when it comes to the younger generation and their lingo.

Well, “that just about wraps things up,” so to speak.  I guess I will just have to “take my leave” for now.  I am just beginning to see why people who are trying to learn English find it hard to “wrap their heads” around it.”

 

A Message to My Friends: Sometimes I Talk Too Much

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Sometimes, I talk way too much.  Just adding a few words while someone is speaking, for verification, or even support, is not always welcome.  I can unintentionally be rude and not get it until after the damage is done.  Or, I can get so jazzed about something that it can be overbearing.

Other times, I can just talk on and on about something when I am upset, causing other people to be distressed in the process, only to have me feel better, while leaving them,  disturbed, in my dust.  This can be abusive to kind-hearted people who are within earshot.  And I am immediately sorry, but at times I just can’t control myself.

This is my version of “venting,”  which I fear could air-condition a gymnasium.  I sincerely hope that I am overstating this behavior.  Why do I do this?  I am not always like this, thank goodness. But what makes me so verbose and emotional?

My friends don’t seem to mind.  Maybe they just have a high tolerance of me.  Or perhaps they are just patient enough to know that if I go on long enough, I will eventually tire and move on.   I am so grateful that they care so much and that they can endure my foibles.

My mother has always been so good to me, allowing me to “get it out of my system,” as she puts it.  And she will just let me go on and on until there is a natural end to my passionate tirade and I am spent.

I hope that I am the kind of person that is there for my friends, as she is for me.  I pray that the people I love and care for so deeply, find me to be the silent, supportful friend that they need me to be when they are in distress.

Either way, I am determined to do better.  I will attempt to curb my passion, or distress, or excitement, when it surfaces and begin to tame this beast inside of me.  Try to forgive me my lapses, for surely I will have them, and allow me the chance to become the kind of friend that everyone deserves.