I have always had too many goals for my creativity.  It has always been difficult for me to concentrate on just one thing at a time.  Therefore, I have found that as I have become older, it has become a matter of what can be accomplished realistically, instead of focusing on how many of the things I may never get to finish in my life.  

Having said that, it does not make things easier, just doable.  I have been writing music for close to 50 years. All kinds of music!  I have used some of these songs in schools and churches and at community events, but none of them have been published.  They have copyrights, but are not in print to sell or distribute in any way.  I used to think I wanted to make a living from this unfinished goal.  But life got in the way.  Raising a family was far more important to me so I did things on the side.  I still sing professionally in a limited capacity, mostly at church services and in community settings.  But performing music full-time had been a goal at one time too.

I never knew that I was a writer (of words, not just songs) until I began writing after my son died.  It turned into a book, a memoir of sorts, that I self-published to share with others who had suffered loss of a child.  My bereavement counselor and other counselors had encouraged me to publish it to help people who had experienced the death of a loved one because it could help others feel that they are not alone.  That goal was achieved.  I would’ve been happy if it helped even one person, but it has helped many more than that.  I feel that my son lives on in that book.  And that makes me very happy.  I have one more goal connected to this that I want to accomplish however, and that is to perform the book as it has many songs in it that have never been heard.  

I did teach and perform a program of singing and sign language that I taught in schools and churches.  I started it in Southern California when we lived there in the 80’s.  I even had a public-access TV show, “The Sing and Sign Show.”  The same episode would be aired 3 times a day, throughout the weekdays until we filmed the next one.  There were little kids that thought it made me famous!  They were so sweet and innocent. I really wanted to pursue it as a teaching show as a local PBS offering.  It could have been possible, but before that could happen, I would have had to learn another skill, grant-writing.  That was too much of a challenge.  And I needed to find a job.

Writing this blog was never a goal, but it would have been, if I had even known what it was.  Thankfully, it found me and I and  the goal of writing one every week is one I relish!  Believe it or not, there are quite a few other goals, but less important ones.  Now I am retired, caring for my mom and I am in a different stage of life.  I just need to prioritize and find out what I can do to help me move toward one specific goal on my list.  Wish me luck!  I am not very good at figuring these things out!.  Prayers are appreciated too, if you have a moment!