The Joy of Delayed Gratification

Delayed gratification is so much sweeter than getting what you want, whenever you want it.  When one can acquire things immediately, there is no anticipation involved. Unless, of course, there is a waiting period long enough to feel it.  What I mean is, that when one gets things easily, their meaning fades quickly. But if you must wait, then you experience anticipation. Anticipation is what truly delivers joy, for the waiting is the part that delivers it.

Because of this, children often do not appreciate things, even the gifts they may ask for, and then, can tire of them easily.  Getting what you want, or what you think you want, can disappoint. It’s the waiting, the anticipation, that satisfies. And, joy is intensified if one must work for something and save their money.

Delayed gratification has nothing to do with needs.  Needs and wants are very different things. One needs food, clothing and shelter.  But if one does not have everything they need most of the time, getting those things can bring appreciation.  And joy is a product of appreciation.  

Communication with other people used to be something our family looked forward to, and that was a form of delayed gratification.  Getting cards at Christmas time with the newsy bits was a joy. When my children were young and we lived far away from our family, we made our own cards and sent them out early.  On the way home from the post office we already began to feel the hopeful anticipation that we would receive lots of responses. When we finally got Christmas cards from family and friends, we were so happy.  

Another example of delayed gratification is having pen pals from other countries.  The fact that the letter, once written, would take a fair amount of time to get there was the first part.  Then the other person had to write a letter and send it back. If your pen pal was a quick correspondent, and mailed the return letter immediately, it could take a week to 10 days to receive a reply.  So the total time from sending a letter, and getting a return was 14-20 days. That was delayed gratification for sure! The joy of reading the reply was exciting to me as a teen. Letter writing still has that effect on me.

Instant gratification simply does not have the positive impact of delayed gratification.  It never will. When one has to work for something, anticipation intensifies A result of this action allows maturity to grow.  Mature adults are what is needed to make a good society. Delayed gratification is a way to get there.

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