It comes up in conversation.  Recently, a friend and I were having lunch and the topic of young girl’s clothing choices came up.  It is something that bothers me a lot.  Young girls think that the way to get the attention of boys is to dress provocatively and parade around showing themselves off.  Of course, this is true.  It most certainly does that!

This isn’t new.  In fact it has been happening for eons.  But the thing that disturbs me, is that we haven’t successfully communicated the message to girls that they are objectifying themselves and making it hard for boys to see who they really are. Their worth as a human being is attached to their appearance.  We are all to blame for this.  We need to retrain girls and boys.  

The thing is, if we don’t do something to change this, girls will forever continue to value themselves in terms that depend mainly on their physical looks.  This is tragic.  If that is the criteria that is the focus of one’s value, what if the current trend of attraction does not include you?  And this so-called beauty can diminish one’s self-worth, even when one feels attractive. This is true with boys as well as girls, but not to the same degree because they are not objectified to the extent that girls are.

With boys, the focus is often on conquests.  Conquests that are of physical strength  (in sports and such) and conquests of girls consume a lot of their time.  Setting aside the issue of misogyny, (which is something else entirely) this makes it difficult, at best, to even think of seeking out meaningful relationships that can nurture and sustain us when times get tough. And it is a focus that exacerbates feelings of  low self- worth when one is no longer capable of doing things.

Unfortunately, in my jobs with teens, I have found that the gospel of lack has a booming following.  What I mean is that the ubiquitous advertising of self-worth through ownership of things also contributes to a lack of money being the source of selling one’s self short.

We all come into this world with inherent value.  We matter.  All of us matter.  We matter from the moment we are born.  We are all here for a reason, and that reason is not looks, physical strength, or monetary means.

Meaningful relationships, love for one’s fellow human beings, the important, far-reaching measures of self-fulfillment are the things that make our time here satisfying and life-giving. We need not sell ourselves short.  We should not do so.  Life is precious and so are we.  Enough said.