I just read an article in the New York Times (November 24, 2017) entitled, “When You Teach Girls to be Good.”  It reminded me of a conversation I had with childhood girlfriends.  We were talking about how we all were “good girls” when we were growing up.  It’s not like we had a choice.  It was an expectation, and we went along with it.  I never questioned it.  It worked for me.  I was always treated well and that was fine with me.  But then, I was shy in those days.  It wasn’t a stretch of anyone’s imagination that I would behave in that way.

Today, things are very different, especially in the expectations and opportunities that society has for girls and women.  Now, girls are encouraged to have a career outside the home, all the while  maintaining the home, and still “be good.”  That is, to “be good” at more things, but only as long as we are sweet, not “pushy” or “bossy” or too assertive.  Ambition and power are reserved for men.  “Being good” for men, implies proficiency, while “being good” for women still implies docility.

This may be part of the reason why women do not come forward right away when they are abused or taken advantage of in the workplace.  In the article referenced above, by Jill Filapovic, she stated that this was partially because “women have been conditioned for acquiescence to authority and male power their whole lives.”  Wow.  That is so true.

I guess I am coming to realize that some of the ways I have held back from pursuing some of my goals and aspirations was because society at large was continuing to affect my decision-making.  I am still acting like a “good girl” in that I am trying not to be too assertive.  It’s ridiculous really, because what I know to be true and what I have been conditioned to think are in conflict with each other.

Interestingly, I have discovered, that even just by writing this blog, I have come to believe I can do the things I want to do. I am drawing attention to myself by what I do, and finally, it feels “good.”  I no longer have to limit myself by the expectations of my youth.  I can finally just be good at being me.