Manners.  Remember them?  Please.  Thank-you.  May I?  Excuse me.  I’m sorry.  It was my fault.  These are some of the appropriate remarks and responses in polite society.  And they seem to be used less and less these days.

In a high school, where I work, I am constantly being asked by students, “Do you have a pencil?”  “Yes,” I reply.  And then the student will just look at me expectantly.  Finally, I say, “Oh, do you want to borrow one?”  Then, I get a puzzled look and/or a “What?” in reply.  Then, if they make an attempt to ask for it politely, I will give it to them.  Finally, after class, I often have to retrieve it. Otherwise, “borrowing” turns into “walking away with it.”

In the crowded halls, I will sometimes be hit by a kid that decides to run, or hit someone else or change directions in front of me.  On a rare occasion I get a reply of, “My bad.”  Where in the world did that come from?  Or, once in a great, great while, someone will say, “I’m sorry.”  Mostly, I get a dirty look, sometimes accompanied by, “You were in my way!”  (Sigh.)

People stand in groups, in doorways, and when I say “Excuse me.”  they grudgingly move, slightly.  I can feel an undercurrent of anger while walking in the building.  Sometimes it is so thick it seems like I could cut it with a knife.  I can feel a fight brewing from 20 feet away.

Discontent and anger fill the halls.  It makes me feel sorry for them.  I wish I could empathise with them, but I don’t know how.  I just try to roll with the punches and throw encouragement at them whenever possible.

It has made me realize that manners is not at the top of the list.  Maybe it is not even on the list.  Before a person can give consideration, one must have been given consideration.  Otherwise, how can a person learn to do something having never experienced it enough to understand?

Somewhere along the way, manners fell by the wayside.  People didn’t notice until it was prevalent enough to enter their lives.  It was too late to thwart the behavior.  Now, it needs to be relearned and reinforced for a considerable length of time, to undo the damage.

Our society has many tears in it.  One by one, as we repair them, the fabric will be made strong again.  We just need to see them, recognize them and work on ways to nurture the true nature of our humanity.  And then, maybe manners will return to become the norm, rather than an exception in our society.