For all of the overt physical contact between people, shown both in the media and in people’s personal lives, intimacy is a misunderstood concept.  Intimacy is often thought about in terms of sex. If someone has been intimate with another person, many people would automatically think of sex. But sex is not the essence of intimacy even though it can be a part of it.

True intimacy is being deeply understood by another human being.  It is being “seen” and accepted. It’s when someone “gets” you. Actions can be sexual, but often the most intimate action of all, is actively listening to another human being.

To me, the most important component of intimacy is trust.  It is impossible to maintain an intimate relationship without it.  Intimacy in families is taught and nourished when parents spend time together with their children.  Having quality time with one’s parents or other closely related adults and having it regularly when one is growing up is what teaches us how to be intimate.  As adults, talking with our children teaches the next generation how to form and keep lasting relationships that enrich the lives of all of us.

A healthy relationship is the key that opens the door to true intimacy.  One must feel accepted by the other person. Once that is found, there is fertile ground in which to grow.  Laughing together, crying together, sharing our emotions with someone who is there for us, gives meaning to our individual lives.  When conflict occurs, the relationship can take it. Solutions to problems can be found.

Nurturing intimacy makes our lives richer in so many ways.  In today’s world, much of our contact with other people is not face-to-face.  If one can look into another person’s eyes and really see that person, our own little world becomes a better place to live.  And close, loving relationships are the rewards of an intimate life.