Everyone who lives will experience grief in their life.  How often this happens, depends largely on the loving relationships one has and one’s longevity.  These two factors determine how many times a person will endure these heavyhearted occurrences in our lives.

It is Valentine’s Day as I am writing this.  It is my son’s birthday and it has been nineteen years since he died in a car accident.  He would have been forty years old today, had he lived.  And, even though there will always be  a yearning for him, because he is no longer here physically, he is still a part of my life.  I grieved him thoroughly, by throwing myself into it and embracing it, because grief is something one must go through, not get over.

Going through grief is something one must learn to do.  To survive well means pouring oneself fully into the grief, in order to come out on the other side of it. Then, one’s feelings can grow into acceptance and hope.  By going through this healing catharsis, remembrance can become sweet and comforting, even joyful at times.

Good memories are treasures after the worst of our grief is over.  They no longer make us feel  depressed, but instead, we can be happy for the fact that they happened.

One thing is certain.  If one lives a long life, it is important to know how to survive many losses.  One will have outlived many friends and family members. Life will be different, but it need not be unhappy.  We can continue to learn and grow, even become a mentor to younger people.  Being useful to others is rewarding for the giver and the receiver.

Maturity and wisdom are the gifts of the elders in our society.  If we learn to survive well and give of ourselves as we grow old, we will have lived a wonderful life.  And then we will also be grieved as we will have made a difference.