The goal of my life is simple. When I am gone, I want to be missed. I want to be remembered as I remember the special people that were in my life who have passed before me. I want to be remembered for making others laugh, for being a good mother, daughter, sister and friend and for being a sharing, loving person.
Oh, I know I am not perfect or even close. I know I have done things to hurt others in my life. I am sure that I have even unintentionally hurt people. For that and many other things, I am sorry. Still, I think we each have a way of being that has an essential feeling attached to it.
Empathy, compassion and goodwill are communicated and seen in a person’s personality. A sense of humor and genuine love of people shows in what a person does and how they make others feel. I try to be that kind of person, even though I know I often fall short of that goal. But the intention a person has, matters.
I had a great-aunt who was not a happy woman and carried those negative feelings around with her. She died a long time ago, and the only memories I have of her are negative. I remember one day in particular.
I was at my grandmother’s house, and she came into the living room where I was sitting in a chair. When she walked in we were alone in the room together. She came over to me, smiling a rather wicked smile. She leaned in close to my face, after stealing a glance to see if anyone was within earshot. Then she cackled, “My, you are getting fat, aren’t you?”
I was eleven or twelve years old, a prepubescent, highly insecure girl, stuck in a chair, away from all allies, with this awful, hateful woman. And that memory is as clear as a bell after all this time. More than half a century later, I can still remember that moment and how she made me feel. As an adult, I can feel bad for her to have been that way. But, I have never missed that woman. To me, this is the saddest part of all. I don’t know if anyone ever missed her. I hope someone did.
I am fortunate to have many people in my life that I miss. That means that I have been loved and I believe that I am still loved by those who have passed before me. It’s my goal to be one of them someday.