Finding Oneself

Is “finding oneself” even a thing we set out to do?  Or does it refer to the maturity we acquire just as we are living our lives?  Do we ever truly know who we are at any given time?  Or is it only in retrospect that a person “finds oneself?”

I feel that in my own life, I am still discovering who I am and who I am becoming.  Maybe we are all just a continuing “work in progress.”  Maybe finding oneself is just being more aware of the life we are leading.

For me, it seems that I am always judging my actions and thoughts.  Do I love enough?  Do I treasure my family and friends as much as I should?  Am I grateful for every blessing I enjoy?  Am I kind?  Helpful?  Non-judgemental? 

These are hard questions to answer.  And yet, we can’t expect ourselves to be perfect in all these things.  To be improving, as we age, seems to be a worthy and somewhat easier goal.  At least it is doable.

I am not sure why I think about such things.  Maybe it is that as we get older, we cannot help but acquire more knowledge and self-awareness.  And maybe self-awareness causes us to think more deeply about what truly matters in one’s life.

When I was young, the definition of “finding oneself” was more about finding my life’s path.  Did I want to marry and have children?  Did I want to have a career?  Did I want to try and do both?  What was I looking for in my life and how was I going to accomplish it?

As I am thinking and writing about this topic, I look back and see that I have asked a lot of questions.  Maybe the act of “finding oneself” is a continual, conscious effort of self-evaluating and trying to improve one’s personal journey in life.  I guess we all are “works in progress.”  And perhaps, that quest continues until we breathe our last breath.

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