I have always had great affection for older people.  I was fortunate enough to have both sets of my grandparents within blocks of my house when I was growing up.  I could see them anytime I wanted. And I wanted to see them. They loved me and showed it each in their own way.  I was blessed to have them as a part of my daily life.

My grandparents were all immigrants.  My father’s parents were from Belgium and my mother’s parents were from Sicily.  My dad’s mom spoke very good English and my grandfather spoke it too, but not as well.  He immigrated as an adult, while she was a child when she came here.

My mother’s parents never really spoke English very well.  They were a married couple with two small children when they came here.  Then they lived in an Italian neighborhood, as was the experience of many an immigrant coming here.  Assimilation is much harder to do when you are older. But the kids had it much easier and grew up bilingual.

Regardless, these were the older people I knew while growing up.  They were treasures in my life. Language was never a problem, even with my Italian grandparents.  One reason was that food was a way of communicating. It said, “I love you, therefore I feed you.” And, of course the physical affection was also given to to me by all of them.  Always, hugs and kisses accompanied my comings and goings.

Because of these things, I always have gravitated to older people.  They have so much to give as guardians of the past and givers of wisdom.  And, unfortunately, they are too often neglected or forgotten in our culture.  Today, people are often separated from their families due to the inability to care for them as they develop infirmity and memory loss.  I am not criticizing those who need this kind of help in caring for their family members. It is just an unfortunate situation we face as our population lives longer and longer. Through the years, I have worked with the elderly in jobs and as a volunteer.  The times that have stuck with me the most, have been when I have reached out to someone to shake their hand and they haven’t wanted to let go. It is so hard to leave a person when this happens. But finally, one has to break free. It feels just awful. But sometimes, others are waiting to have their turn.  This says a lot about the need to be touched.

One thing that is important to me to communicate, is that we owe the elderly for our very existence.  And if we can each just find some way to appreciate them and give back to them, we will all benefit. I realize that not all older people are easy to be with, and that some are even abusive.  Regardless, the elderly deserve to be given care and respect.

As I am aging, I can better relate to them, because I am coming ever closer to that time of life.  I guess we should think about how we want to be treated and do things now that will make others think well of us.  In this way, when we become very old, we will be the people that children will still want to visit and who will treasure us as we age.