There have been times in my life when people have either said, “Be strong!” or “You’re Strong.” to me when I was facing a traumatic or shocking situation.  I don’t think that at the time when this happens that they realize that those statements could be unhelpful, or even hurtful.  They are trying to make things better, but those words can have the opposite effect, especially after a significant loss of some kind.

When a person isn’t feeling strong, especially in overwhelming or devastating circumstances, saying such words can actually make things more painful.  It can be like saying one doesn’t have the right to be weak.  That’s because, when we are weak, we feel powerless to rise to the situation.  One must rise above to feel strong.  And rising above can take time, sometimes lots of it.

But at other times, these same words can be extremely encouraging.  And that is when one is confidently facing a challenge of some kind.  When someone is purposely active in the achievement of a goal, these words can energize and inspire confidence.  A reference to being strong can then be seen as  reassuring.  And that is the perfect time to use these phrases.

Being strong can be a goal for a person.  And that is a very brave thing to pursue.  Even the effort to endeavor such an objective is courageous.  The words we use while communicating in difficult situations must be considered very carefully, especially those words that are expressed to the ones we care about and love in our lives.

Our conversations, in distressing times, require some serious thought, even with the people we encounter at work or play.  But with the ones we love and care for the most, and who are close friends or relatives, we should always err on the side of compassion.  Actually, showing compassion is a way of being strong for another person, whomever that may be.