Be kind to yourself.  If you can’t be kind to yourself, you will not be able to be as kind to others.  Why?  It’s because we need a good self-image in order to be able to have the kind of attitude one needs to be kind to others.  It is akin to trying to teach a language that one doesn’t know how to speak.  Kindness to ourselves enables us to learn how to be kind to others because of the way we feel when it is given to us.  How can we do things well, if we don’t know how it feels to be the recipient of these gifts.  For indeed kindness is a gift.

Kindness should be one of those things that is so ubiquitous that we can’t help being affected by it in our daily lives.  It should be a way of living.  We should be born into it.  Sadly, this is not, nor has it ever been that way.  Conflicts, instead of being a chance to solve problems together for the common good, are battlegrounds for dominance, not cooperation or care for one another. 

If kindness to self was a dominant characteristic of people, we all would naturally cooperate to solve problems.  But it starts within each person.  If one has not had kindness bestowed on oneself at an early age, it becomes more difficult as a person grows up.

No matter how one approaches this issue, one thing is very clear.  Not being kind to oneself makes it much harder to give it to others.  The extent to which a person has self-love determines the extent to which one can give.  We can give of ourselves to a higher level of kindness when we are not hampered by self-deprecation.  It stands to reason that this would be so.  One can not give something one does not have.

So, in being kind to ourselves first, we are able to give it more freely and know exactly what it is that we are giving.  Experience in doing this makes it easier to be keenly aware of what that means.  It makes me think of the instructions one receives every time one gets in an airplane.  If there is an emergency, a person must first save themselves first before they can help others to do so.  Therefore, be kind to yourself.  It’s the best way to be kind to others.  And it is always a good thing to be kind.