Blessings are all around us waiting to be discovered.  The way a person views one’s own life is determined by what he or she chooses to focus on.  So, if we look for blessings, we are bound to find them.

The problem with looking for blessings is that when everything is going well, it isn’t something that needs our attention.  Without a problem to solve, it is easy to take the good things for granted.  But, to me, a better way of thinking is to appreciate the little things that make life run smoothly.  Little things add up to big blessings. But, one has to choose to see life that way.  

I found this out after my son died in a car accident.  The day before, he had been at my house getting his hair cut.  The next day he was gone.  But, I had so much to be thankful for, and so many things that had to be done.  I armed myself with gratitude for all that was good and true.  We loved each other and liked each other and saw each other often.  I focused desperately on finding the good. The blessings were in the relationship we had.  I hung on to them for dear life.

Blessings are always around us, in spite of what happens.  That doesn’t mean we don’t feel the pain of loss and the many problems life has to offer.  But, there are always things to be thankful for.  The problem lies in just how difficult it may be to find them.  

I have not yet been challenged in ways that have defeated me. I have been fortunate to always have had enough in my life.  I cannot fathom what it must be like for so many people in this world.  There is devastation I have no clue about.  There are so many traumas, tragedies and cruelties in this world.

The only thing I know for sure is that we will probably not find what we are not looking for.  Looking for blessings will, at the very least, give a person a better chance of finding them.  And if one believes that they are there, why not give it a try?       

I love to go out to lunch!  I mean, I really love it!  What could be better than eating out with a close friend or family member and having face to face communication?  Not much, in my opinion.  

I love going out to eat with my best friend, (who is my husband,) without getting up from the table.  Without having to set the table, stand up to get something I may have forgotten to put on the table or do any of the clean-up chores at home, we can just talk and laugh and eat without interruption.  We only answer our cell phones, if after seeing who it is, we think it could be a possible emergency.  So far, it has never happened.

Going out to dinner is similar, but lunch has the benefit of more reasonable prices and “specials.”  We tend to go to the same places all the time because we like the food and the atmosphere. Even better, the owners get to know us and we get to know them.  It becomes a familial experience.  

In this atmosphere, we tend to have deeper conversations, because I am not thinking about any of the household chores.  When sitting in my kitchen, I can be distracted by the things around me that need to be done.  Not so, in a restaurant.  We can just talk and laugh or have a serious conversation if we want to do so.  And now that we are retired, we have more opportunities.

It’s not like we can’t do these things at home, but it is easier when there are no distractions.  I recently had lunch with my eldest, adult granddaughter.  We have deep conversations and tend to stay a long time after we have finished eating.  There are a few places we especially like to frequent, and they don’t mind if we stay and talk, especially when they are not busy.  (If they are busy, we don’t stay too long.)

Recently, as we were leaving a favorite restaurant,  one of the managers was cleaning a table nearby.  As we were leaving, he told us how much he enjoyed the fact that we talked to each other the whole time we were at the table.  (In fact, we were there for over 2 hours.)  He said that most of the time he witnessed people that were sitting with each other, but not interacting because they were on their phones.  He loved seeing us in deep conversation.  That’s what we love too.  It was good to know that we were not the only ones who still feel that sharing a meal and just talking to each other face-to-face, is one of the best ways to have a close relationship and enjoy each other’s company.

We left the restaurant together and hugged (while giving each other kisses on the cheek).  She thanked me, as she always does.  And then we got into our cars and drove off.  Another sweet memory was filed into my memory for future enjoyment, a reminder of the wonderful experience of sharing by simply having a meal in the middle of the day with someone you love.

Have you ever felt frantic?  I have, and it is terrifying!  There are many words that are synonyms of this word.  And every one of them adds to the meaning.  This feeling is something that takes control over a person, leaving one full of fear and unable to help or control it.  When panic, fear and anxiety overtake a person, it renders one unable to see or think clearly.

Strange as it may seem, sometimes when it happens, I don’t remember what made me feel that way in the first place.  But the feeling itself can be summoned easily by my psyche.  I have no idea why.  Maybe it is just that the feeling is so intense that it begs for my attention.

As I am writing this, I remember that I have recently been feeling frantic as I am dealing with memory loss.  But I am finding that I can calm myself down a bit if I just stop, pause and clear my mind, even if it is only for a minute or less.  I am trying to learn from this experience.

Being frantic is a horrible, helpless feeling.  Letting it live in one’s brain is not an acceptable option.  If you have felt this way before, you know what I am writing about.  The more I learn about this problem, and I learn about myself, the better I feel, because I am actively working on a solution. 

Sometimes, if a person can just mentally step back from those anxious moments, the mind can readjust itself.  This is what I have been attempting to do.  I am not always successful, but each time I try, my confidence grows a little bit more.  

Counseling has always been extremely helpful when I have had problems.  And I am working with a wonderful woman now.  Every positive action helps.  So even if I continue to have these frantic moments from time to time, I have resources to help me out.  That is something I try to remember whenever I begin to feel the warning signs.  I can say to myself, “calm down Lora.”  Then, I can decide what to do.  I am fortunate to have found resources that help me.  And for that, I am truly grateful. 

If you look up “marvel” on the internet, the first entries you see are about Marvel comics, Marvel movies and all things “Marvel.”  To view the definitions of the word you must type “marvel definition.”   I marvel at that.

As a noun, it is defined as a wonderful or astonishing person or thing.  As a verb, it is to be filled with wonder or astonishment.  Basically, it is a fabulous word, and as such, is something to look for and feel.

My favorite examples of the marvelous are people who are selfless and serve the needs of the poor and marginalized people in our world.  If or when you encounter such a person, they radiate a quiet strength as they serve to help their fellow men and women.  I am honored to know such people and be considered a friend.

These are the people we all should appreciate and admire.  They are the ones who make a difference in people’s lives.  Everytime anyone helps or provides a basic need to another person there is the opportunity to create a connection.  Connection is something we all need to have as humans.   Anyway, that is my belief. 

Marveling has many benefits.  When you or I are engaged in this behavior, we are actively participating in the process of positivity.  There is no downside in the pursuit of the marvelous.  It is a win-win situation.

I guess it boils down to a person pursuing an appreciation of everything he or she has in their life that can be shared with someone.  It doesn’t need to be something that requires things to be given.  The gift of time is perhaps the most valuable gift of all.  After it is given, one still has the memory to hold in one’s mind.  Isn’t that marvelous?

There is a quote stating that “humility is not thinking less of yourself – it’s thinking of yourself less.”  It has incorrectly been attributed to C.S Lewis and others as its author. However, regardless of who wrote this, it is a profound statement that clearly captivates the essence of this word.  I think that many people, myself included, might find this description to be just about perfect.

I have had trouble with this word because of the unfortunate and incorrect connotation that humility means to think less of one’s self.  If someone has the mindset of being less than, it affects the ability to even “be there” for another person.  Being present with a friend or family member requires a person to have self worth.  Otherwise, it’s possible to make a person who is suffering feel bad for you or feel less important to you.  When one has the attitude of being “less than” it takes the focus off of the other person and interferes with any semblance of help to them.

It is actually quite difficult to be around someone who debases oneself.  If it happens often with another person when they are around you, you want to avoid them.  I do, I am sorry to say.  I am not proud of this, but that is a feeling most of us get when we are uncomfortable with someone’s behavior.  Of course, that is when a person is challenged to rise to the occasion and perhaps just “be there” with them.

Being humble is a challenge.  It seems to me that maybe we need to practice thinking of ourselves “less” on a regular basis.  When I think of all the people I admire the most, I realize that it is their humility that draws me to them.  They are not the ones to think less of themselves.  In fact, they have healthy self-esteem, an attribute that is attractive and one that invites other people to be themselves around them. 

Humility is a valuable trait to develop.  It is good for you and the people around you.  A gift that helps oneself and at the same time can help another who needs a friend.  A worthy pursuit indeed!