Several months ago, my husband and I were the waiting room at our doctor’s office.  As we looked around us, we became aware of the fact that we, with the exception of the staff behind the front desk, were the only ones that were not using some kind of electronic devices.  We looked at each other and shook our heads.

All around the room, people were involved with their cell phones, computers, tablets, iPods, or games.  Everyone, including a two-year-old and an elderly gentleman was looking at something that took them away from the people around them.  One family had six children, and each person was in their own little world.

The media often enters our lives, unobtrusively, through our electronics.  We hardly realize it when it happens.  The addiction to electronics has opened a window that never closes.  And it is  nearly impossible to separate ourselves from its influence.

For nearly a century, American life has been affected by advertising in newspapers, radio and magazines, increasing exponentially over the years to include billboards, television and the internet.  Virtually, everywhere in our society, people have become consumers of products, ideas, beliefs, and even their own self-images based on what the media says.  It is a profoundly ubiquitous factor in our daily lives.

The effects of this phenomenon is especially dramatic in young people who are not savvy to the ways in which their lives are being manipulated.  Some of the results of this have caused the suicide rate to spike, with cyber-bullying being only one of the many causes.   Other negative effects include: eating disorders, self-harming behaviors, extreme depression and other debilitating conditions.

It is extremely important to many teens to have the latest cell phone and multiple pairs of expensive athletic shoes.  Why are these possessions so important?  The media has dictated what teens should want, have, and therefore, need just in order to be “good enough.”  Ownership makes one worthy of notice, attention, and the message goes deeper, even love.

Desperate to be accepted, kids are easy prey to the ploys of this brainwashing, all through advertising.  More has to be done to educate our youngsters about the traps they are falling into, that just because these influences are a huge part of their world, it doesn’t mean that their messages are true.  If we can find ways to change the tide of this phenomenon, we will reap the benefits of a society that judges things from a perspective that takes in information, but does not allow itself to be told what to think or do.  In fact, people of all ages need to remember this.

There is no excuse for being rude.  Being indignant for a good reason can even be acceptable, but rudeness has a nasty attitude attached to it.  It shouldn’t be tolerated.  I have observed rudeness in young people more today than I ever remember it my lifetime.  I think that it may be a result of the “me generation” gone wrong.  “Looking out for number one,” has brought out an extreme influx of self-involvement that threatens to tear us apart.  If life continues in this way, the situation will only grow more vitriolic.  And what we need more than ever is an attitude of cooperation and awareness of others’ wants and needs.

So what do we do?  Well, consequences for this behavior would be a good start.  Making amends for one’s bad behavior is another appropriate response.  I know that for me personally, when I realize that I have done something wrong, I apologize.  It clears my conscience, acknowledges the fact that I know I have done wrong, and allows me an opportunity to atone for my actions.  This is good for me because it identifies areas that I have faulty thinking about.  Perhaps it is even an experience of not thinking at all.  Once I see the error, I have the chance to learn something about myself and re-evaluate my actions, reactions and thought patterns.  I can then consider what I might have done differently and make a change for the better.

Now, I don’t want to pick on young people and say that they are the only problem.  Age is not the main factor.  In fact, I don’t think this issue would be so prevalent in kids if there were not so many examples for them to follow in our society.  There will need to be a major shift in our collective thinking about this issue for it to get back on track.

Tragedy often brings people together in cooperative action.  The events of 9/11 brought out the best in people as our citizens became far more concerned about what happened to some of us than the danger to themselves.  Beginning with the heroic actions of the first responders and branching out to ordinary people, self-involvement fell by the wayside when we, as a country, bonded together against the evil deeds that were perpetrated upon us.

But, after the passage of time, those feelings of humanistic solidarity waned and gradually we sank back into self-interest and the behavior that goes with it.  Awareness is key to making a change of any kind.  Maybe it would behoove us to examine our consciences and decide what each of us can do within ourselves to make a positive difference.  I always like to say that if we didn’t need each other, then there would only be one of us here.  It’s something to think about, either way.  Self-involvement and the rudeness that often accompanies it, is not a pretty picture of us.  I for one, would like the chance to have a photo retake day.

I never truly realized that getting old would bring about so many undesirable changes in my body.  Some of these things started for me in middle age, but it just continues as I become older.  My mother, now ninety years old, warned me about some of these realities, but I didn’t pay much attention until they started to happen to me.

The first examples of these unwanted consequences of the passing years, started with hair.  It began to grow in some areas and become more sparse in others.  Some turned grey, some became white, while others disappeared altogether.  

The hair on my head started expanding exponentially onto my face.  Whiskers started to grow.  Eyebrows changed shape and became multicolored.  I now have at least three different colors of hairlike growth all over my head.

The part I hate the most is the facial hair in front of my ears.  You read it right, in front of my ears!  And it appears overnight.  It’s not there before I go to bed, but in the morning, it has already sprouted.  And it is white, and long!  I am dumbfounded by the rapid growth.  How is it possible?

Moving on to the rest of my body, I now have mole-like nodules all over the place, some of which propagate their own tendrils.  Will it never end?  And blood-red spots, like freckles have appeared on my skin.  There are some of these that wiggle, and skin tags that bleed when they accidentally get scratched.  Age spots and other growths seem to think it’s alright to join the congregation.  Who asked them?

Cellulite, aches and pains, wrinkles and waddles all join in the fun of changing the once perfect bodies of infants into elderly ones. Being a woman, I don’t have to deal so much with the ear and nose hair that men do, but there are plenty of crosses for all of us to bear.

I guess the bright side of all this is that we can choose to see this as a time for letting go of this body that we all will eventually shed.  Having it break down around us makes it easier.  And maybe it allows us time to reflect on the parts of us that matter the most.  It’s the inside of us, our minds, our hearts, and the spirit that lives on, beyond this earthly existence, that determines who we are.  That’s where our dignity remains intact.  The rest is merely a facade.

I can still remember, when I was growing up, the importance of work and doing a good job.  People would say, “He’s a good worker.” and that meant something.  If they weren’t a good worker it meant something too.  It was a yardstick by which a person’s character was measured.

I don’t know when it happened, but things have dramatically changed.  I no longer feel the presence of that expectation around me.  Everyday I witness a lack of desire to do a good job.  It is not everywhere, of course, but it is a palpable shift in attitude.

I still feel the weight of a good work ethic inside me.  I was raised that way.  And isn’t that what sticks with us in our core values anyway?  The way in which our families did or did not endorse behavior has an effect that lasts way beyond childhood.

So, I have to say it.  The United States no longer has the work ethic it once had.  The European population that immigrated here at the turn of the Twentieth Century brought us people who needed work.  They wanted it desperately and were willing to toil long and hard for the chance at a better life.  Others have come from all over the world and brought their families here to strive for the same thing.  They enabled us to become a great and wealthy nation.

My grandparents were all European immigrants and they worked very hard their entire lives.  It benefited my parents lives and has continued to benefit mine.  I can honestly say that the attitude that was impressed upon me, has made me a better worker and a better person.

Taking responsibility for oneself and doing your part in a collective effort benefits the society in which we live and gives everyone a stake in the future.  Moreover, it makes each person part of something “bigger than oneself.”  There is a good feeling attached to it.  Like it or not you and I are all in this together.  As Americans, we can turn things around or leave things the way they are.  I prefer to think that we can work together and turn the tide into an ocean of opportunity and enjoy the bounty that it brings, for each one of us..

Sometimes illness affords one a chance to ponder things.  These thoughts, which we would otherwise not have time to think about, are important because our modern world is all about doing.  Doing, without thinking attached, becomes a rote existence.  

Since I have been ill for the past several days, this has been my time to ponder.  I have had a cold, miserable at the moment, but fleeting in time.  Others in this world, are dying of diseases that could be almost non-existent, if only they had safe drinking water.

I have much more than enough good-tasting, clean water of which I drink to my heart’s content.  I can cook, clean, and bathe in this water, and all of it is drinkable.  What’s more, it comes to me, into my house, on tap, without my lifting a finger, and is there waiting for me to use it at will.

Why is it that I am so fortunate, when so many others are not.  I thought I appreciated these things, these extravagances really.  But do I?  Am I even capable of understanding what it must be like to spend hours of each day fetching and carrying water, (miles away from home in some parts of the world,) to come back and prepare a simple meal for my family each and everyday?  This is a reality for many people.  Food, water, medical attention, all of which I have had freely given to me since my birth, are graces unearned.  Why me?  Why not, for so many others?

I have heard it said, seen it written and even experienced it for myself, that often, the most impoverished people are the most willing to share what little they have.  What a paradox!  It seems that the more one has, the more selfish one becomes.  This is no surprise.  This is no secret.  I know I could be far more generous with my resources.

 So, what is the answer?  I am sure that the answer is both simple and complicated at the same time.  Each of us has a situation that is unique.  I am not wise enough to know the answer.  But today, I pose the question.  What can I do to be more generous, more grateful, and less concerned about myself?  The answer, for me, will be found in the way I respond to these questions.  And so, the quest begins.   And it begins because, today, I had the time to ponder.