A world without cellphones is an inconceivable reality to any person under the age of thirty.  You have to be able to remember a time before cellphones were a ubiquitous part of daily life.  I didn’t get my first cellphone until 2007.  I was 56 years old.  That is totally unbelievable to young people of today.  In fact,  if you should state this fact to a teenager, they may not even believe you.  To them, a cellphone is a “necessity.”

Okay then, let’s define necessity.  According to Merriam-Webster, necessity is defined as: “something that is necessary especially to subsistence <obligated to provide the necessities of food, clothing, and shelter>.”  So, would someone explain to me, please, how this concept has somehow escaped the education of today’s teens?  Wants and needs are practically the same to them.

This is disturbing on so many levels.  What happened to common sense?  Where has logic gone?  We seem to have lost control of what is important and what is not, in terms of simple needs.  We need water, food, clothing and shelter.  Without them, we will die.  We can do without some of them for different, unextended periods of time. But without them, we will not survive. What if I were to say that you could substitute a cellphone for one of these real needs? What would you choose to live without in order to have a phone?

To know what it was like to live before cellphones, talk to someone who has lived then.  Ask me.  As someone who is older about their lives.  Talk to someone in person.  People lived and they lived well, way before phones, let alone, cellphones existed.

Young people are not the only ones, however.  This addiction crosses all boundaries of age.  My 90 year old mother sees a parade of people of all ages on their way to a nearby park.  She tells me that most of them have their eyes down, looking at their phones when it is a beautiful day to enjoy.  Mothers and fathers, pushing strollers are texting on the way to the playground with their children.

I fear that I am part of a minority with others who find this to be a sad commentary of our modern world.  I hope we can get a handle on this because we need to interact with each other and see our incredible world with eyes and minds open to the wonder of it all.  At the end of one’s life it will become clear that being alone with a cellphone is a poor excuse for a companion.

“You have the memory, but you’ve lost the moment.”  This is how a father of one of the students at my children’s elementary school replied, when I asked him if he would videotape the Talent Show.  I remember thinking that he was saying something important, but I had to find someone to videotape the Talent Show and further thoughts about it would have to wait.  Time went by, and eventually, I thought about his statement and its profundity.  

I had discovered this through my own experience. I stopped taking pictures continuously at family events because I never had any time to be a part of things.  I was the observer and not a participant.  I take less pictures now and enjoy more moments.  But I still take some pictures, just to “preserve” those moments for later.

Today, I see endless amounts of ridiculous videos that are made on cell phones, posted on the internet, not to mention “selfies,”  and pictures of friends doing silly things together, making faces, etc. etc. etc.  This makes me wonder about these “memories.”  How many photos does one need to create a memory?  Are any of these even memorable?  But are they “moments” of time spent with your best friends?  Maybe so.

And there are those times when a photo can put you back into a moment because of the intensity of the memory.  Both memories and moments are important.  Being a participant is important.  These are the things that can draw us together in spirit, even when one is separated from those that matter to us the most.  The memories drawn from a picture ARE moments especially as we grow older and we are the ones who survive.

So, I guess memories and moments are perhaps, even needed.  But the truth of that father’s statement is still profound.  Sacrificing moments for “memories” in video or pictures is not a good idea if you want to be a part of the action in the movie of your life.

Never, in my youth, would I have believed that the media would become so powerful in the lives of people everywhere.  News, advertisements of all kinds, music, television, movies, magazines, the internet, telephones, photos and billboards ubiquitously crowd our consciousness every minute of our waking hours.

The amount of money spent on these enterprises is almost impossible to measure.  And their influence is felt in every aspect of our lives.  Unless a person is removed by religious beliefs or culture, it has a prominent place in the daily lives of most people.

I have concerns about this regarding our youth for two main reasons.  First of all, they are the part of the population that is most vulnerable to propaganda because of their lack of life experience and they may not have enough adult involvement to explain the motives of advertising.  Secondly, they want to belong and are highly influenced by what their peers think.

Even adults have trouble with the consequences of advertising, as is evidenced by ever-growing consumerism and proliferation of credit card debt.  Many people live beyond their means, and as the debt piles up, the credit companies flourish.

I realize that I am stating the obvious, but I sometimes think that we ignore the obvious and live in a reality of our own making.  It’s easier to do this than to face the facts.  The media effectively controls many aspects of the financial world, even when we choose to live within our means.  It is just too extensive.

Lastly, my biggest worry about advertising is that it has a profound effect on the way we see ourselves.  We are fed a constant diet of what we don’t have and how it would be different if only we bought this or that.  It is an ideology of a culture of lack as opposed to a culture of abundance.

Actually, we do have a choice about this, but can feel powerless to think and feel for ourselves when there are so many other entities vying for our attention. The brainwashing is so massive as to wear one’s self out trying to fight it.  But fight it we must, if we intend to be people who live life on our own terms, and not according to the media and their sponsors.  Advertisers have no interest in you other than to separate you from your hard-earned income.  As for me, I refuse to listen to those voices that are not concerned about me and do not have my best interests at heart.

Have you ever noticed how a person can laugh and it makes you want to join in the fun?  You can just overhear people laughing and it makes you smile.  But if it continues, you will find yourself laughing along, even if you don’t know why they are laughing?  That’s the power of laughter.

I have witnessed on video, and real life how just one person laughing alone in close proximity to other people will eventually have everyone laughing even though none of them know what it is about.  Maybe we could start to do this randomly once in awhile.  I think I may try it with a friend sometime.  And then if it works, I could do it alone and feel more confident.  It takes guts to do this on purpose.

And what a difference it makes in you when you can laugh instead of being down in the dumps.  But it can be tricky, because sometimes we want to hold on to the bad feelings.  I don’t know why we do this, but I have been there before.

I remember one time, after having foot surgery, I stayed at my mom’s house and used her hospital bed to keep my leg up and get around better because her house is one-story, with no steps to deal with.  We were in the same room and I was already asleep.  My mom started laughing in the middle of the night and I woke up.  She was laughing so hard that I started laughing too.  We just keep laughing harder and harder and I kept trying to ask her why we were laughing.

She couldn’t stop laughing enough to tell me why, and so we just kept on laughing until it started to hurt.  Finally, she calmed down and was able to tell me why she was laughing, and we laughed some more.  She had been in her recliner and hadn’t been able to fall asleep when she had thought about something funny that had happened in the past, and it just brought back the funny memory.  Since I was there, it made me laugh too, because I couldn’t help myself.  I just got pulled into the hilarity.

This has happened to me many times.  I am really susceptible to this phenomenon and I am so happy about this, and thankful.  Even in the midst of sorrow, the sound of laughter can make one feel better. I think that laughter is one of the many gifts that God gives us.  It is an antidote to a bad mood and it raises our quality of life by its very existence.

I think that I will try a “laughing in public” experiment soon.  It will be worth a laugh to me even though I am apprehensive about whether or not it I will pull it off, because there’s a very good chance that it will.

I was born into a generous family.  My parents are generous people  When I was growing up, they were generous with their love for each other and for me and my brother.  They were also generous in many other ways.  It is easy to understand what it is to be generous when you grow up with it flowing all around you.

There are so many actions that show generosity.  One can be generous with money and things.  On a deeper level, one can be generous with time and attention. These are all sorely needed in our society.  But most of all, you and I can be generous with love and affection, as I learned from my parents.

The best thing about generosity is the feeling attached to it.  If something is given freely, which is what generosity requires, the very act of it is as good for you as the one who receives it.  It is beneficial to both parties.  It is a win-win situation.

I think the reason that generosity is not employed by everyone, is that it was not felt or demonstrated in the first years of one’s life.  Early childhood experiences have far-reaching effects on a person’s emotional development.

That’s why an atmosphere of love being freely given is so important in infancy.  It dramatically influences one’s view of the world and sets the stage for lifelong attitudes.  When we are the recipients of good in our lives, then it is easier to be a giver to others.  I also think that when one has been given much, much should be given, in turn, to others.

All it takes for one to be generous is to be willing and open to giving of oneself.  That attitude alone fosters an internal environment of positive energy.  And soon, the opportunities to give will begin to appear in your life.  If you act upon them, they will become generous actions.  It is impossible to stop the flow of generosity if you surrender yourself to these feelings.  It can almost be addictive.  It is the reason some people choose lives of ministry.

Although the rewards are extremely fulfilling, it does require the risk of being rejected.  But as long as you can see that the act of giving is important, whether or not it is received, you will not be disappointed.   And it is always a very good thing.