Sometimes, I see the behavior of people around me, and I think, “Why is there so much disrespect in our culture?”  I see it in adults.  I see it in young people.  I even see it in children.  When did it become acceptable to behave in this manner?

Language is one of the most obvious examples of disrespect.  The amount of profanity that reaches my ears is deeply disconcerting.  And the tenor of such language seems to become more degrading all the time.

Gestures are strong indicators of people’s attitudes.  Disrespect runs rampant in gestures.  Body language, attitude, facial expression and behavior are some of the ways we measure these levels of disrespect.

I see another reason for lack of respect, that is perhaps the most important one of all.  Self-esteem, good and bad, are powerful measurements of respect that can be felt or given.  It is hard to respect someone else, if you do not feel that way about yourself.

Just as we can compile various ways of describing disrespect, we must outline what respect means.  Respect is shown in many different ways. When we act with reverence, with courtesy, mutuality and reciprocity, we are showing respect.  It is very much like the golden rule.  “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.”  It really is as simple as that.

The only thing that I can think of, that can change disrespect into respect, is to nurture empathy in ourselves and then begin to teach it by example. If you have empathy, pour it out into the space around you.  Develop a habit of doing this.  In time, it can become second nature.  Smile inside, whether you mean it or not. Some studies have shown that it changes YOU, just by acting that way.  And real change comes from the inside out.

That’s my new plan.  I will smile inside, whenever I see disrespect.  I will imagine loving the person that is showing disrespect.  I will think, “This person is probably having a bad day.”  And they probably are.  If I make a mistake by forgetting myself and acting differently, I will start over again. I think that this will be good for me, either way.  And the world needs as much positive energy as it can get.  Each one of us does.

Just imagine, for a moment, what a perfect life would be like?  What would hold the most importance to you?  Would it be love?  Would it be respect?  Would it be your profession? Would it be a thing?  Would it be money?

Now, imagine what the worst life would look like?  Would it be having something bad or lacking something good?  How do we measure the important aspects of our lives?  What do we need?  What do we want?  How can we make any of these things happen?

Before we can create the world we want to live in, we must first of all, imagine it in our minds.  Imagine life in every scenario.  Imagination is the origin of creation. Our thoughts create ideas to form pictures in our minds.  We need thought and imagination to create everything, good and bad, in this world.

My point is that imagination is critical to the creation of our world.  It starts with each one of us.  Collectively, all people contribute to the critical mass that decides the state of this place we all live in today.  Therefore, it is a combination of all the intentions that we have imagined.

It is necessary to think of these things with deep consideration of our future generations, if we are to continue living together in this world.  So many things need to be constantly imagined and reimagined.  Not everything can be counted on to go the way we would like it to go.  Often, there are unintended consequences.  That is why we must imagine with our integrity intact, through the filter of our hearts.

These are just my thoughts, my ramblings and my dreams.  They are food for thought, perhaps just an appetizer.  But, if you are willing to indulge me, let me know what YOU think.  I will look forward to the conversation.

It has always amused me to see parents of newborns taking movies of their baby’s every move.   Now, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a wonderful idea to film children at every age to see them grow over the years and have this valuable account of their lives.  I wish that this opportunity would have been available to me, so that I could have done this with my own children as they were growing up.

The thing I don’t understand, is the fact that there are some parents who make videos of absolutely “everything” their children do. There will never be enough time to watch them all.  And, when one is always filming, that person is not a part of the moments being captured.

To me, it seems that if you are filming everything, then you should edit the footage along the way. Otherwise, you will never be able to find that moment that you want to view again.  Doing this will give you a representative account of the growth and maturity that you want to capture.  There simply are not enough hours in the day to watch so many hours of anything.

Which brings me to the whole idea of spending time being together.  These memories that we create, by just being totally in the moment with our children are the movies we play in our minds.  The making of these memories, as well as the retelling of them, are experiences we can enjoy and remember together with our children. They are priceless.  These interactions reinforce the bonds we form in our families.  They become our “oral history.”

In some cultures, these oral traditions are the ties that bind families and communities of people together.  When this is done, people become connected in “real time” at each retelling of a story that is shared.  Watching memories are great, but making them is what “real” life is all about.  If I had to choose between real time and “reel time”, there is no contest.  Real beats reel any day.

If you’ve ever had an”aha” moment, you know that it is unforgettable. The feeling is intoxicating!  You will always remember that moment when the light bulb goes on.

Having the opportunity to reach someone through teaching is an honor and a privilege.  I have been fortunate enough to have taught in many different settings. Of the special moments I have experienced, there are two examples that stand out in my memory.

I worked with a young man who was deaf and whose education had been thwarted by the circumstances of his health.  He and I were doing arithmetic.  When I started to use different visual aids that I had made for him, I could see a light in his eye.  When he figured out that he could do it himself he was so amazed and excited by it that he just kept doing problem after problem on his own.  He was so proud of himself. What a joyful experience!

Coincidentally, at another job I had, I worked with a young woman who was also deaf.  She was developmentally disabled and I worked with her in her apartment, teaching her how to do things for herself.  She had a hard time with the concept of “why.”  She knew the meaning of “who,” “what” “where’” and “how”, but “why” is a word that requires one to think critically.  This was a puzzle to her.

I knew she loved snow.  I asked her, “Why do you love snow?”  She signed, “I like snow.”  I said, “But, why do you like snow?”  Again she signed, “I like snow.”  Okay, I thought.  Not today.

I continued to ask her again and again when the opportunity arose, and she continued to say the same thing.  Until one day, when I asked her, she signed, “Pretty.”  “Yes!’” I signed.  I continued. “Why else?”  She signed, “Play in the snow.”  These were the first two times that she had given me a reason.  She was excited.  I was excited.  It was wonderful.

It didn’t matter that the next time I asked a “why” question, she didn’t have an answer.  She had begun to understand a complex concept, and we were finally on a new journey together.

In the scheme of things, many days are the same.  They pass by and we don’t remember the details because they are ordinary.  But sometimes, if you are lucky, you experience an “aha” moment.  That’s something you don’t forget, but instead, celebrate it each time you remember it.  And that is a darn good feeling.

Today, as I look around me at people and and their attitudes, I am reminded of myself as a child, picking up on every feeling that was shown to me by the adults around me.  I was profoundly affected by my parents and how they felt about life and the things that happened daily.

I was fortunate, because my parents loved each other and together they loved me and showered me with affection.  Because I am the oldest, I had their undivided attention.  My mother stayed home and my life in many ways was idyllic. Most of the people of the world are not born into this environment, and this is unfair.

Later, my brother was born and little changed for me because there was more than enough love to go around. My world was small and I was protected from many of the negative influences in life.  For all intents and purposes, my life was insulated from the outside world.

My parents were tolerant people and I learned to be tolerant.  They were generous people and I learned to be generous.  These two things alone shaped a lot of the feelings I have today.  My thoughts and feelings were valued and I was free to share them openly. Many have no such luxury.  The fact that we did not struggle financially also had a powerful impact on the way of life I enjoyed.

Growing up, we have no choice in the hand that is dealt to us.  Being born into a family that has the basic necessities, the material things that give physical security is one aspect of quality of life.  But equally important, is the freedom of having the right to think and say what we feel and being valued as a person.

If only each of us were able to express ourselves beginning as little children and share our feelings in a safe place, our world would be more apt to produce a kinder and more accepting society.  Then, maybe, as adults, people would be more open to sharing their feelings and ideas. If this were to happen, perhaps we could have conversations that would build understanding and goodwill just through the sharing of our feelings with one another.