I have discovered something in my life that is giving me some peace of mind.  Since I have become a “senior citizen, I am finding that the less I own, the happier I am.  Cleaning house has become more of a detachment from stuff than doing cleaning chores.  I have only begun to purge my residence of the unwanted, unneeded, and just plain, old clutter that surrounds me in my home.

But lately, I have been digging deeper, into my mind.  Guess what I am finding?  More stuff to “get rid of.”  Not only do I have tons of useless information that weighs me down and messes up my thinking, but I am finding negative thought patterns and other “downers” that clog up the workings of my brain.  I may not be able to rid myself of the useless information, but I can certainly work on the negative thought patterns.  But, where do I begin?

Perhaps I should write them down as I think of them and give each of them a category.  Detachment, it seems to me, is recognizing the problem, thing, or idea that is blocking my progress as a truly evolving human being.  Only then, can I begin to rid myself of this destructive behavior.

I know, that in the past, detachment has given me a deep sense of relief, once I recognized the source of my distress.  Maybe it is because we live in such a materialistic world, that there is a such a need to unburden ourselves.  Or maybe, I just think too much, and it’s mostly my thinking that is cluttered.  Either way, detachment has proved to be a very useful tool in my quest for contentment.

So, I think I will begin with a categorized list and parse out the most important ones from the more trivial ones.  Then I will create a “plan of detachment.”  I’ll have to try it out with one or two things and see how it goes.  Either way, if it works out or not, I will have begun my journey to clean my house, inside and out.  This is only step one of the process, and I can’t wait to clear the cobwebs, literally and figuratively in my life!

There is a reason why journaling is therapeutic.  The act of putting feelings into words, where they can be seen on a page, can lessen their emotional impact.  By placing them on paper, they can be viewed as something separate from oneself.  There, they can be examined more easily.

Our feelings belong to us.  We are in control of them, not the other way around.  That is, unless we let them.  The process of writing them down can be a catharsis.  I have experienced this.

Grief is a part of life that challenges every one of us at one time or another.  When one is grieving, one can feel as if things will never be good again. But that need not be true.  Things will never be the same, but goodness is there if one chooses to persevere and keep looking for the positive.

My 21 year old son died suddenly in a car accident.  I was devastated.  But I was determined to heal and find the positive things that were still true.  I had witnessed far too many people who allowed grief to keep them in a state of painful loss, making them bitter in the process.

I began to write, and the feelings flowed out of me.  I discovered all that I had to be thankful for as I wrote of happy memories of the past.  In the process I found that these good memories and the relationship we had could never be taken away from me.  I healed.

Don’t get me wrong.  It was not easy, not even close.  It took time and diligence.   But, I found that there was so much that was worthy of my gratitude.  And I have found that gratitude is truly at the heart of happiness.

Life here is fleeting.  But love never has to die.  I believe that it lives on inside of us long after our loved ones are not physically present anymore.

Writing can also help one get rid of negative feelings.  We need not carry disappointments and resentments around with us.  We can write them out of our lives if we choose to work at it.

I realize that writing will not be enough to heal some wounds.  There are many experiences that I have no clue about.  But I still think that writing can be a valuable tool for many of us.

I do not have all the answers.  I only know my own experiences.  But if one is looking for a way to feel better, this could be helpful.  If one has the will to minister to oneself , this could be the path that will lead to peace.

Is empathy a passe concept?  Much research has been done on the impact of empathy in our lives.  Statistics from prestigious universities, which have studied the ways in which empathy affects the health and general well-being of our society, have suggested this.  It is disturbing, that empathy has decreased drastically while narcissism has dramatically increased in the past 30 years.

While these things are true, there is much that can be done to turn the tide of this phenomenon. Studies have shown that we are hardwired to care at birth. But this altruistic quality must be nurtured to become a lasting characteristic of one’s personality.

In today’s world, people of all ages are engaged in activities that are devoid of person to person interaction.  We are in intimate relationships with screens, on phones, computers, televisions and other electronic “friends.”  It is no wonder that we are finding it difficult to “feel for,” let alone “feel with” others.

When children are exposed to screens at early ages, the window of opportunity begins to close as deep human communication is diminished.  It is hard to “feel with” any other person if one does not spend significant time with other people.

While empathy impacts the “outer space” of our lives, (i.e. school, the workplace etc.), the most profound affect is within the individual. Children are especially vulnerable in this “virtual” world of electronic gadgets and communication devices.  There is a danger that they may be confused by what is real and what is not.  It is of vital importance for young children to have enough time with adults who care about them to show them how kindness is an important part of living a satisfying life.  If we want to teach empathy, it must be seen and nurtured everyday.

What children need the most to develop and grow in empathy, is lots of direct contact and guidance from their parents, caregivers and teachers.  Talking to them without distraction, playing together, and modeling caring behavior are the tools needed to create a friendlier, more welcoming dynamic in families.  Taking time to do these things shows children that they matter and that they are worth our undivided attention.  Empathy requires a fertile atmosphere in which to grow.

On the bright side, empathy can be learned at any age.  It isn’t easy, but it is possible.  Practicing kindness is something every adult should be doing.  Being nice to one another could be the best and possibly easiest first step in creating a better world.  In addition to fostering kindness, empathy could possibly be the antidote needed to make a positive change in this “all about me” world in which we live.  It may even be the catalyst needed to create an “all about us” culture of peace.

I don’t remember ever hearing the terms “critical thinking” or “problem solving” being used in my early education or even high school.  However they are frequently said in today’s classrooms.  I think that it is a great way to reference learning in real life.  They are phrases that have been incorporated into the language of the curriculum.

These common words describe important concepts.  They reach out to transform ordinary knowledge into real life strategies.  If one can learn to take the information gleaned from the classroom and apply it to daily life, true education comes to fruition.

Life itself is a backdrop for continuous decision-making.  Success in any discipline requires this skill.  Critical thinking is essential for creative problem solving.

I wish I had heard these words spoken in my classrooms.  Naming something gives it power.  And empowering students to learn and apply knowledge is one of the most significant, and indeed, noble goals of education.

Let me share an experience that I had while working with a student in her United States History class.  First of all, I need to preface this with the fact that I hated every History class that I had ever taken in high school and college.  But I was assigned to this student, who was in this particular class, so I had no choice in the matter.

From the very beginning, this class was different from anything I had ever experienced in my history classes.  The teacher was fully engaged in his teaching and my student and I were pulled into it.  We were “hooked.”

Day after day, history came alive. Historical figures were the players in this drama. Presidents and other famous people were the “flesh and blood” characters that we learned about.  And their stories were compelling.  No longer was I subjected to the endless lists of events and dates that held no meaning for me.  My student and I were learning and having fun with it.

The school textbooks were tedious and boring, so he used other materials, incorporating storytelling into the daily lectures.  In the process of helping my student, I became a student too.  We took notes, did the assigned reading and all of these were available to us when we took the tests.  However, the questions never had a “who,””what,”“where” or “when” in them.  Instead, they asked “why” and “how.”

Critical thinking was needed to answer these questions.  The tests always required the students to write short essays.  No multiple choice, true or false, matching or fill-in-the-blanks were to be found anywhere on the page.  One had to think, apply the knowledge, use notes, and give examples.  No two papers ever had the same answers.  It took a lot of time to correct these papers.  And he thought the kids were worth it!

Being in this class was the only time I ever really understood or cared about the significance of learning history.  I’d take it again, in a heartbeat, because I am sure I would learn even more the second time around.  Every time I hear “critical thinking skills, I think of him and smile.

Learning to think critically gives one the required tools to solve problems.  I can think of no greater educational goal than enabling students by teaching them how to proficiently apply these principles in their daily lives.

That is why I applaud dedicated teachers everywhere, for going into this incredibly demanding profession.  We must appreciate them and support them in their efforts. We are all needed to engage in the learning process on behalf of the children who are the faces of our future.  If we can equip them with the discipline of critical thinking, then surely problem solving will be much less of a problem.

What in the world has happened to good grammar?  What do I mean by this statement?  Let me explain.

I have always loved the English language.  I respect grammar in all languages, spoken and visual alike.  It is an essential part of excellent communication.  But, it is not being taught in the same way that I was in “grammar” school.

Some years ago, schools decided to teach grammar through the process of reading literature, as opposed to the rote learning of tenses, parts of speech and the other essentials of learning a language.  I have had many opportunities to experience the effects of this method and have not found this to be an adequate course of action.

I am not saying that learning grammar through literature is a bad idea.  Coupled with rote exercises, this could be the “perfect” way to internalize the rules of grammar.  However, when I have asked high school students to tell me the part of speech of a word, I have often gotten blank looks.  I see many, many examples of punctuation misused and underused.  The writing skills of some high school students are below the standards I was expected to know in elementary school.

I know that this cannot be true always and everywhere.  But, I think that it must be acknowledged that there are a substantial amount of young people who need additional, varied methods to competently master these skills.  Rote learning doesn’t have to be the same as when I was a child. There are new, improved, more engaging programs now, using rhymes and songs  These techniques are “user-friendly” ways of learning the basics.

Grammar is something I love, so it pains me to hear and see improper usage of the English language.  When a person speaks well it makes a good impression.  It can help one obtain a good job.  Communication skills are sorely needed everywhere.  When a job applicant has the ability to write clearly and capably, it widens the pool of opportunity.

I guess what I am trying to communicate, is that bad grammar does unintended harm to the one who exhibits this behavior.  It tends to give the impression of having less intelligence, even when that may be far from the truth.

I hope that we can correct these problems with a combination of instructional practices, that will produce a fruitful crop of excellent communicators.  If we can accomplish this, not only will we understand each other more, but we will be better at solving problems together. That would be a wonderful message to be conveyed in speech and writing alike.