If we are fortunate, we begin as babies, skin to skin, with our mother’s touch guiding us through the very first moments of life outside of the womb. There is even a name for these special moments.  The Sacred Hour is the uninterrupted skin-to-skin contact between mother and child, immediately after birth.  This power of touch, when presented to us so early in our existence, introduces an important part of lifelong, nurturing communication.  In this first hour of life, the values of this skin-to-skin connection are numerous.  Some of them are: stability of the heart rate and respiration, optimal brain development and physiologic stability.

These benefits and others are outlined in an article by Raylene Phillips MD/ BCLC FAAP which was referenced on more than half a dozen websites as I researched this subject.  I was surprised by the amount of data I found regarding skin-to-skin touch.  Perhaps this is because it is so essential to a person’s quality of life.

In my experience, the touch of a hand upon another person has the capacity to show support, kindness, empathy and compassion.  It can also express many other feelings.  It is a powerful way of communicating, often felt beyond the power of words.  That’s why we all need lots of warm, accepting, touch throughout our lives.

When caring for someone who is ill, a person often checks for fever by placing the back of the hand on that person’s forehead.  Children link their pinky fingers within a special friendship.  The examples of skin-to-skin contact are seemingly endless.

Unfortunately, I have found, that perhaps the time we may lack caring touch the most, is as we age.  I have worked in retirement facilities, where I have been in direct contact with people who do not have the frequent company of loved ones.  When reaching out to hold a hand that clasps mine tightly, and with deep intensity as I have experienced, the message to me is clear.  We NEED skin-to-skin interaction to have good quality of life.  In this day and age, may I suggest, that in the words of a Diana Ross hit, that we all look for ways to “Reach out and touch somebody’s hand.  Make this world a better place, if you can.”

I will always remember a dear friend of mine who once told me the story of her and her uncle.  One day, she and I had the opportunity to talk for hours when I accompanied her on a road trip to a job interview.  The whole time she was driving, we talked about so many things.  But the most wonderful thing was that I found out so much about her life before we met.  That’s when I found out about Uncle Fred.  Her Uncle Fred was the patriarch of the family.  And he loved my friend like he was her father and she was his daughter.  In fact, if they went somewhere together and someone assumed that she was his daughter, he wouldn’t correct them.

By her description of him and his love for her, it could only be described as “unconditional.”  She said of him, “I could have been swinging from a chandelier and he would have said, “That’s my girl!”  I remember thinking, “That’s how my Dad thinks about me.”  “That’s my girl!”  What an amazing, wonderful way to feel about someone!  It’s even more amazing to have someone feel that way about you.  I guess I always took it for granted that a dad would feel that way about his daughter.  Unfortunately, as I became older and lived outside the realm of my home, I found out that this is not necessarily true.

So often, I wonder why I was born into such a wonderful family, when there were others who experienced no such thing.  To say that this is unfair is an understatement.  It is not that lives lived with love are always perfect, but that love is powerful.  More than powerful, it is transformative. That’s why one should be loving.  And people should love even with self interest in mind, because we need love in our lives to give it meaning.  No person has control of the situation that they are born into.  Still, loving unconditionally, in as much as it can be an enormous challenge, has the power to change the world into a peaceful place to live.

I just retired from my “regular” job, the one where I punched in every morning and then punched out at the end of the work day.  Now I am moving on to work for myself.  I will decide what time I wish to start my day.  Planning my ventures on my time schedule, I will decide what to do, in what order, and at what time, working around the things I want to do with my family and friends.

I have retired into freedom.  Now, I have lots of work to do.  But, I will do the work that I have chosen, based on my talents and abilities.  No doubt, I will be working harder than ever before.  The big difference is that I am on a mission.  The mission is my life!  

There will be more time with my husband. And it’s time to be with my Mom as we are growing old together.  I have so much writing to do, songs to sing and projects to perform.  I am energised just thinking about it.  There will be more time to spend with my daughter and grandchildren.  Time is the gift that I have been given.  I must not waste one moment, unless it’s what I want to do.  Then it will be scheduled into my day.

I am reminded of my father who made a list every night before he went to bed.  There were things that had to be done, things that there could be time to do and things that he wanted to do.  And there was always something fun included in every day.

It sounds like I have a blueprint to follow.  And, indeed I do. I am going to make the most of it, enjoy it thoroughly and most of all, thank God who has made it all possible with the many gifts I have been given.  Today really is the first day of the rest of my life!

It was not that long ago, that tweeting was something mostly associated with birds.  Now it is primarily used to type messages/blurbs on the internet.  I was curious about it and went to its website.  I couldn’t figure out why so many people did it.  I decided to do a search on how to tweet. There I found tutorials and guides for setting up an account.  It still didn’t make sense to me as to why people would want to do it.

I am a Facebook user and I love being able to connect with friends and family all over the world.  It has been great to pick up where I left off with people that I have not seen in person for a long time, sometimes years.  They post pictures of their kids and grandkids and I feel like I’m back in the loop of their lives.

With other friends and family that I cannot communicate with in person, I stay involved in their lives, even if only peripherally.  This is incredibly satisfying to me as I am a people person and I treasure relationships in my life.  I crave personal contact with people I like and love.

So, I asked someone, “Why do you use Twitter?”  One colleague told me that she primarily uses it to keep up on the news.  I do remember NPR and other media outlets referring listeners to check out their Twitter site as a way to keep up on all of their news stories.  I had forgotten about that.

Then I recalled a young woman I knew at church who did a workshop on hashtags and how to use them.  Hashtags are an important part of Twitter.  Obviously, I must not have understood how I might use them.  I didn’t pursue it any more after that, as you may have assumed by now.

Finally I turned to my computer’s search engine to ask questions, like “Why do people use Twitter?”  It is amazing how many articles have been written about this subject.  It turns out that there are many reasons people want to tweet, none of which interest me much.  It’s not that I feel superior to “tweeters” either.  I just don’t find that this medium suits me very well.  I’d rather blog.

So I guess I haven’t exactly proven anything other than the fact that tweeting is not for everyone.  I am just a generation or so out of that loop, so to speak.  It seems that for all intents and purposes, in my little corner of the world, tweeting is still mostly for the birds.

Success is a word that has multiple definitions.  In the 21st century, many people think of success in monetary terms or accomplishments.  This is a perfectly valid way to measure one’s success.  However, success can also be found in relationships with people.  If one has rich, meaningful connections with other human beings, if one can be of service to others and share one’s gifts and talents, success can be evaluated by what one can give, as opposed to what one possesses.

The positive aspect of this view is found in the goodwill one feels when giving of oneself.  There is opportunity for internal growth that can only increase as one’s relationships mature, akin to the way money grows when it is invested.  We each have a choice to make as to what rewards we wish to reap.

I used to work in nursing homes and I learned a lot about life.  When one is in the last stages of one’s existence, the things of importance become clear.  One may have a healthy bank account, portfolio and plaques on the wall and that is good.  Others, not having that kind of wealth, may be rich in loving relationships.  In the end, if people do not have people who care deeply for them, the money and trophies may not give the dividends one needs the most.

When one wants to be comforted, things are not capable of giving that to us.  Only people can call and visit us when we are sick or feeling down. The touch of a hand, a loving look, a smile. can mean the difference between contentment and isolation.  It is heartbreaking to see the loneliness I have witnessed.

When people have outlived friends and even family, they still can find joy in others who live around them.  But it is unlikely that one will acquire the ability to connect with others if they have not acquired this skill.

To me, the message is clear.  Whatever you devote your time to, whether it involves people or things, your future will be determined by your values.  Make sure that you consider this before you come to the final chapters of your life.  Then, the book you have written will have the ending you desire.  In the end, only you can decide whether your definition of success has served you well, or not.