Author Archives: Lora Marie Wade

Getting Older/Passages

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I have always been aware of the different stages of my life. Oddly enough, I never wished to be older or younger as I was growing up. But now, as I am aging, I realize the time that I will be here, has significantly diminished, and I still have so much I want to do. No matter how I add it up, even if I live to be 100, two thirds of my life span is gone.

Let’s see, doing the math now, I figure that if I indeed live to be one hundred, I have thirty-four years left. Thirty-four years! That’s all. Now if you are young, I know that seems like a lot of time. But for those of us over 65, we know that it most certainly is not!

Looking back, I can remember so many parts of my life with incredible clarity. And there are many moments that I can recall so vividly that they seem like only yesterday. Some of my memories are so clear that I can remember dialogue, like favorite memorized movie scenes. Being an older person gives one the opportunity to have a sense of gratitude for for those experiences.

I have always loved older people. I have relished every story of the past that they recounted to me when I was a child. I find myself telling stories to my grandchildren and it is as surprising an experience as it is familiar. Life is funny that way.

My longevity is dubious, as my father died suddenly in his early sixties, while my mother has just passed ninety. That makes me realize now, more than ever, the preciousness of every moment. I have always tried to be mindful of this blessing, but at times I am not as thankful as I feel I should be.

So, now what? I guess I will have to be more in the moment than ever before. Getting older is not a questionable thing. If you are breathing, it is happening.

There are passages which we go through and I am going through the final ones. I have a lot on my calendar these days. And most of the appointments I make are with myself. I am making decisions about what I still want to accomplish. There are people who I need to spend more time with and enjoy them as much as possible.

If I am blessed enough to live those thirty-four years ahead of me, I don’t want to feel any regrets about what I did today. We are the masters of our destinies and our legacies. See you next time. I’ve got a whole lot to do today!

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Never Stop Learning

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One thing we can do for ourselves to enrich our lives, is to try and learn something new everyday.  I know this has been said by many others before, but it bears repeating.  What I mean is, we should  conscientiously set out do this every day.  It’s not enough to look for opportunities once in awhile.  That leaves too much to chance.  And I have to admit, that I do not always do this myself.  Still, if one does not set parameters, it may not happen on a regular basis.

By writing this, I am reminding myself of the many times I don’t mindfully try to learn something.  That doesn’t mean that I don’t somehow pick up knowledge without really trying. But being mindful and open to learning is key.

The good news is that one can begin to use the practice today.  Right now, open a nonfiction book about something you are curious about.  Skim titles at the library, if you don’t have anything at home that you’ve been meaning to check out.  Watch a documentary.  Take a class. Talk to someone that has experienced something that you find interesting.  First-person accounts are a wonderful source of knowledge that can put you vicariously in somebody else’s shoes.

It can be fun, informative, emotionally connective, or painful to learn new things.  But learning is always helpful in one’s life if you are open to the experience.  I have found  that this quest for knowledge is something that I look forward to, even when it may be scary.  The reason for this is simple.  One never knows what experiences we will face at any moment and the information one acquires may be exactly the thing you will someday need to know.

The best thing about learning something new is that it will make you smarter.  That is always a good thing.  One never knows, but something you learn today could even save your life or the life of another person.  At the very least, it is a goal worth pursuing, and it need not cost you anything but your time.  I hope you learned something from reading this.  I know that I did. Thank you very much.

Making a Difference

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I have always believed that we are all here for a reason. I am fond of saying that if we didn’t need other people, there would only be one of us here.  The goal of life is to find the reason, indeed, the purpose for which each of us was conceived in the first place.  If a person does that, then I feel that one can make a positive difference in this world.

The challenge is in finding, and doing something that is the best use of one’s talents for the good of society.  It doesn’t have to be anything big, but it must be sincere to really make a positive contribution.  It is a servant mentality, an agape form of love, that finds and fulfills this purpose.

I remember a time when I was trying to find a volunteer opportunity in the community.  I saw an article in the paper about a woman who did so much positive work in our area, that I decided to call her.  I asked if we could meet for lunch.  She agreed and I began by talking about the newspaper article and how I admired the things she was doing.  I told her about some of my abilities.  I was looking for ways to do work in the community.  She simply said, “You want to make a difference.”  Bingo.  That was it.

It was then that I realized an extremely important concept.  Making a difference is a way of being in the outside world.  It is always satisfying in any capacity that one might find oneself. It means that if one has the attitude to be a positive force in this world, the way in which one does it is inconsequential.  

As my life progressed, I understood this simple precept much more fully.  I tried to take jobs that would lend themselves to  service in some way.  I wasn’t always able to find a job that used my abilities fully, but in each position, I tried to incorporate my talents.

Since I am a performer at heart, I wanted to “perform” my duties even in the jobs that didn’t include the things I do best.  I found that it didn’t matter, because the most important thing was the intention behind each task I was assigned to do.  It is the desire to make a difference that matters.  The job we are doing is merely the means with which we serve our fellow human beings.  

So, I have come to this conclusion.  Wherever human beings are placed in any time or situation, whether at work or play, making a difference is possible in every day that is lived.  We may as well make the most of it.  After all, today is the only day we have.  Let’s make a difference.

Finding One’s Soulmate

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I am honored and delighted, looking forward to witnessing the marriage of my niece soon.  It causes me to reminisce about my own life’s journey.  I remember how not-looking-for Mister Right, made me run right into him.  Sometimes, the best way to find something is to stop looking for it.  I wasn’t looking for it in the first place, but found it just the same.  

Maybe that’s why we call that person, with whom we want to share every aspect of this life, a soulmate.  The soul works from a much higher consciousness than we ever can with our human brains.  Spirit enters through the heart instead.  It’s a saving grace that can keep us from thinking too much.

Somehow, when it happens, we just “know” it is the right person.  Not every person will find their soulmate in marriage.   Not everyone wants to do so.  Some of us, may prefer to go it alone, or choose another path.   But for those who do find one, life is shared, for better and for worse.  This is because once the deep connection is made, it may be damaged, but it can be healed if both parties can forgive.

While one can only have one soulmate in a marriage, we may have other people with whom we share intimate bonds, a soulmate of a different kind.  These are the treasured friends with whom we share deep convictions.  They are lifelong friends with which one never loses touch , even when they may not have been “in contact” with them for long periods of time.  These are the people we are able to continue a conversation with even after years may have passed.  This is a relationship that just picks up where it left off.

Regardless of the circumstances, soulmates are gifts beyond measure.  Truly, if one is fortunate enough to find a soulmate(s), life has more meaning and satisfaction.  We all deserve this.  May we all have the opportunity to share ourselves in this way.  For this, I pray.  Amen.

 

On Being Loyal

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What does being loyal mean to you?  Loyalty can be given to people, places, ideologies and causes.  We can be loyal out of a feeling of duty or as a product of our character.  We may have been taught, as a child, to be loyal to family at all costs.  One should be loyal to one’s spouse, but is there a time when loyalty must be broken?  

If one is taught to be loyal to people who profess hate, then what?  There are so many ways to think about being loyal.  According to Merriam-Webster, loyalty implies a faithfulness that is steadfast in the face of any temptation to renounce, desert, or betray.

So, I ask myself, “What am I loyal to, in my life?”  The answer for me, has to do with family and friends, truth and good character.  But the most important answer to that question is to another question.  Am I loyal to loving my God, and loving my neighbor as myself?  If I use this as a yardstick to measure my loyalty, I feel that I am on the right track.

Next, I must ask, “What is not deserving of my loyalty?” Again, questions must be answered.“Does this person, place or whatever is being considered for my loyalty, give me a feeling of positive self-worth or do I feel manipulated?”  “What is the reason for this loyalty?” “What is this loyalty asking of me?”

If the answers to these questions agree with my values and convictions, then yes, I may decide to be loyal to that particular person, cause or whatever.  What it boils down to, is this.  Am I able to say that I am proud to be loyal to this?  If so I will want be a part of it.

I am loyal to my husband because we have loyalty to each other exclusively.  I am loyal to my God who is the source of life and love.  I am loyal to my family and friends.  All other loyalties must be judged by how they fit into my values, or they have no meaning to me.  In all things, consider whether loyalty to anything is life-giving and kind.  If the answer is yes, it is probably worth your loyalty.  Each one of us must decide for ourselves.  What is deserving of your loyalty?