Before I get into this subject, I have a disclaimer.  I really want to live forever.  But, as with all things, there are conditions.  I only want to live forever if it means that I am still healthy enough to live on my own and I am in my right mind.  That being said, there is a problem with wanting to live forever.

Have you ever seen people in hospitals, being kept alive by machines?  I have never understood why people would want to be kept alive artificially or have their loved ones live in this condition. But I am not here to judge.  It is just something to think about.  That’s why I am so glad that there are such things as living wills.  People have the right to die naturally, if that is their wish.  A living will does just that.

But back to living forever, have you ever seen movies that depict characters that never die? Even though these movies are fiction, they bring up some thoughts as to the downside of living forever.  We are meant to live AND die.  That is what makes up a life.  

More important than how long we live, is “how” we live.  I think about this a lot.  I researched topics of living past 100 and how to live a long life and found some nuggets of information. Many of the people interviewed or written about had things in common.  Some of these things, found in publications on this subject, had to do with having a positive attitude, being in close, meaningful, relationships, having a purpose, laughter, exercise, and having good eating habits. In one such article, staying calm was cited.  I think all of these are good ideas and some of them I already do or have.  

I guess it comes down to quality of life.  If you don’t have that, living long is not a very attractive quest.  The lesson, it seems to me, is that however long one lives is not in our control.  But, the way we live, however long it is, is what’s important.  One thing that I would never want to happen, is to live past my due date.  At the end of my life movie, I want it to say: The End.  And underneath it, I want it to say “to be continued in the next life.”  

Sometimes I think about life as if it were a puzzle.  I’m sure most people can relate to this as there are so many pieces of one’s life.  We begin as infants, brand new to a world of unknown experience.  We learn through hearing, touching, smelling, tasting, seeing and sensing the people and things around us.  As curious beings, we use these senses to discover everything through progressive awareness of the world around us.  All of this happens and we have no memory of it, later on, especially in our adult lives.  It’s pity though, because we use them less, and think more.

I am not saying thinking is wrong.  On the contrary, thinking is absolutely necessary.  But, life is not always logical and so we need to engage our senses to get the whole picture of the events of our lives.  I find that if I think too much, I am less sensitive to the nuances and subtleties that contribute to wise decision-making.  But usually that is not a problem because I am a feeler according to the Myers-Briggs criteria for personality types.  And sometimes, feelings can get in the way of logical thinking.  But both are equally important.

So, how does one solve the problems, or puzzle pieces we encounter?  Thinking and feeling and remembering our past experiences are certainly good ways.  And sometimes, it is a good idea to consult an expert.  Thinking of life as a puzzle is good for me, because I like them.  Puzzle pieces are more attractive than problems to me.  Either way it is problem solving.

Hopefully, we learn something everyday.  And each bit of information is stored.  We may not be able to retrieve the information immediately, but it is usually there, even if it might be misplaced.  It is my belief, that all of these lessons are important, even if we can’t tell exactly why.  And even if there is a missing piece, now and again, I believe that when it’s time to pass on, the final one will be revealed.  And then, the puzzle of each life will be solved and put away, ready for a new life to begin.

Some years ago, I can’t remember exactly when, I was in a class or a workshop.  One of the exercises that we were asked to think about had to do with writing your own obituary.  I don’t remember actually trying to do it, but  something came up recently that made me think of it again.  My husband said to me, that if I were to die before him that he wouldn’t know how he would ever be able to write my obituary.  I can’t remember exactly how he put it, but it was something that made me think that if I wanted it to be right, I had better do it myself.

Anyway, I was intrigued by this idea.  If one wants to be remembered, which I do, then one should write one’s own obituary when one is in good health.  It might be a good way to contemplate how other people see you and how you would like seen.  Then, if there is conflict between the two, steps could be taken to be that person you want to be.

Of course, in any obituary, there are the dates, names of family members, living and dead, circumstances and the places involved.  But those are just statistics.  The part we need to contemplate is what contributions a person has made.  The way in which a person lived and what they enjoyed doing, and the things they did in service to others are the things that matter.  I guess writing about these things in reference to oneself has to do with how one hopes to be remembered.  This is not an easy task.

I want to be remembered as being a fair person, not judgmental, and kind.  I want people to feel that I was a good friend and someone that could counted on to do what I said I was going to do.  I want my friends to think that I was fun to be with and that I had a good sense of humor. Most of all, I want people to remember me as someone who loved God and acted like it when dealing with others.  I want my family and friends to miss me, but only because I won’t be there in person.  I want memories of me to be happy, to be fond and funny.  Well, that’s a tall order.

Now, the most important thing to do, is to live that way, the way I want to be remembered. Whew!  I never thought it would be this hard.  But life IS hard.  And life is good, a gift, not to be lived carelessly, but thoughtfully and deliberately.  This is really an educational exercise. I know that it is teaching me something.  You just might find it worth your time to do it yourself!

Joy is a worthy pursuit.  Finding joy in this life, however, can be a challenge at times.  We are daily besieged by negative messages.  They are in the news on a constant basis.  I don’t know the percentage of a newspaper that has good news as opposed to bad, but it has to be very low.  I looked up articles and other information, including studies, and for a variety of reasons, people are drawn to bad news.  This could be part of the reason that joy is increasingly difficult to find.  Since news permeates our society, it is bound to have an effect on one’s search for happiness.  For this reason and others, joy can be elusive.  

So many things can make it difficult for a person to even begin such a quest.  But that makes it all the more necessary.  If we are always overwhelmed by the negative, the pursuit of joy can be wearisome.  The daily onslaught of bad news can hamper the best of us on our journey of bliss.

On a positive note, a search for joyous synonyms produced an abundance of them.  That’s very good news.  So, where should one look for joy?  Perhaps a good way to start would be to make a list of the things one likes to do.   It could be a hobby, trying new things, having a dog, doing community service, or any number of other things.  I guess if none of them move you, a more serious probe may be necessary.

Whatever we choose to do in this life, joy should be a part of it.  Even when one knows what makes them happy, life can get a person down.  That’s why it is important to find one’s joy.  Find it.  Name it. Claim it and schedule it into your life.  Otherwise, life will take you on a ride that is not of your making.  Make a choice.  Find your joy.

It is December again. It’s the 67th one of my life!  That doesn’t seem possible. And yet, no matter what is happening, time marches on.  One of my sayings, (yes I have them) is that time flies, even when you’re not having fun.  It’s been true for me, anyway.  Soon, we’ll be living in a new year, a clean slate, so to speak.  What are your hopes for the new year?  Do you have any?

What if we all started by being thankful for all the blessings we have now, in this very moment. We can think about the future or ruminate about the past, or, we can just be thankful.  We could be thankful for all the good things in our past and be glad we have a future to think about.  But most of all, a person can just be happy to be in this moment, reading a blog because one has the time to do it.  

We are able to do so many positive things in our minds and hearts.  Let’s do them.  Right now. Just be thankful for being.  Being is life.  Life is a gift.  A gift is for giving and for being enjoyed. We are free to think whatever we want, in spite of our circumstances.  We can choose the attitude with which we live our lives.

Holidays are times of great joy for some of us.  For others of us, they are filled with sadness.  If we are having moments of time with nothing to do, we can choose to do something for, or just be with, someone who is not as fortunate as we may be.

“Being there” is often the most profound gift one can give another person.  I have found that to be true both as giver and receiver.  One could find someone to be with.  There are people in nursing homes and other facilities that never have visitors.  It doesn’t matter if you know someone or not.  Being with a person who is lonely or neglected is no small thing.

The most important thing one can do is give.  Be a gift to someone.  There are things that each of us can do.  We are all unique and we are all necessary.  If you and I do what we are meant to
do for others, next year could be the best one yet!