Constructive criticism can be a tricky thing.  If a person needs direction at times, the way in which it is done is key to the effect it has on the one being criticized.  I have witnessed this in schools when I was a substitute teacher.  The best teachers, whom  I observed when I was in this position, were the ones who understood this concept.  A good teacher knows the damage that criticism can do to a student if it is done in a way that attacks the ego.  Most teachers understand how to correct without the student feeling “judged.”  If a teacher is not sensitive to a student, it can damage his or her self-worth.

This is not only true for children. It is also detrimental to adults.  It has happened to me on occasion, and it hurts.  The double whammy comes when you feel embarrassed and trapped in the situation.  It’s difficult to know how to react.

I am reminded of the words: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  If I say this sentence and do as it says, I can begin to compose myself and go on with my day.  But the fact remains that it is hurtful.  Feel it and let go.  Do it for yourself.  Be your own best friend.

Let it be said again, that criticism is a tricky thing, both to give and to receive.  There should be a course on it.  I’d sign up for it in a heartbeat, because I never want to do this to someone else.  Do unto others, Lora.  Always be aware of your words.  They matter.  And so does every person, even those who may hurt us along the way in our lives.  Just “do unto others.”  “Amen”, again I say “Amen.”

I am continually amazed at the swift passage of time.  I remember my mom and I speaking of this phenomenon.  When we were together everyday we’d always comment on how fast the days went.  Since she is no longer here, I ruminate about it by myself.  And I also think about the future and what I might accomplish on the list of things I would like to do before I am gone.

I am happy to say I have had my cognitive testing and there is no sign of, nor any indication of Alzheimer’s disease in my future.  That is a big load off my mind!  I still can’t remember so many things, but I have suggestions that may help me.  I must accept that my memory will never be the same as before.  I do have some things that I can work on to help myself.  That is a big relief!

I do have some issues with Facebook that I hope to resolve soon.  It has to do with the separate “Random Ramblings” page I had just for posting my blogs.  This extra page changed and became a “Meta” site and they decided that they needed to take me off of Facebook entirely because I was not selling anything on the Meta page and they would not respond to my communications.  In the meantime, because Facebook has become an important outlet for me to connect and share with people, I made a new Facebook site.  That is why you are reading this.  But I can’t access my ”friends” list and am in a quandary trying to remember them. 

On a positive note, I would like to thank you for reading anything I have to say.  It is such a joy to write something and then have someone comment on what I have written.  Happy New Year Everyone!

It strikes me that every one of us, at every age, needs something or someone to hang on to.  This is becoming a well-formed idea in my mind as I think of all the many ways in which we do this,

When my son, Seth was just a toddler he would, quite literally, hang on to my leg whenever we went somewhere.  I was his protector, and his source of comfort.  It was a physical, as well as an emotional security blanket, a leg upon which he clung to, in every new or unknown situation of his young life. 

We hang on to the relationships we can count on, as well as the actions that become our personal habits.  I find myself missing the warm hugs my son lavished upon me for all of his short life.  I hang on to the memory of the physical connection we had.

Now, as I look around me, I see that we, as people, hang on to jobs, money, possessions and so many other things, in an effort to bring security into our lives. 

But life here is not secure.  And no matter how hard we try to make ourselves solvent, or insure ourselves against problems in the future, we really know that it is an impossible task.

The only things we can be sure of, are our deaths someday and the ever present Love of God.  And we need not buy insurance policies or accumulate wealth and possessions to receive that love.  In fact, doing these things too well can interfere with allowing God’s love to be deeply felt.

To quote an age-old hymn, God is our “shelter from the stormy blast, and our eternal home.”  And this love that God gives to us, here on earth, is also felt through the love we give to and receive from others.  It is expressed by the love of a child clinging to his mother’s leg, and in a mother’s memory of this sweet embrace, embedded deep into her heart even long after his earthly death.

I have had a cold for the past 5 days.  It felt like it was coming on the day before it happened, but I thought I could knock it out by resting in bed before it took hold.  Instead, it just got worse each day.  I am in bed while writing this.  

Paradoxically, this has made me realize just how blessed I am.  The fact that being sick rarely happens to me is something for which I am very grateful.  That is a huge blessing!  When I was a kid, I got colds quite often.  That really isn’t surprising when I think of the small classrooms at school and how we were packed inside. But I was particularly vulnerable in those days for some reason.

It has occurred to me that it’s really so easy to see the blessings in our lives.  But, we need to look for them and appreciate every good thing that happens.  Being thankful doesn’t magically happen.  We need to be aware and develop an attitude of gratefulness. Yet, when bad or difficult things happen, we tend to jump right into the negative reactions.  It is a human weakness.

Maybe I need to come up with a mantra, a prayer that I can say multiple times throughout the day to keep me on track.  Something short and easy to remember.  I will work on that.

I must remember that I don’t need to be home sick to think of these things.  I always seem to ponder when I come down with an illness.  When I am stuck in bed, but awake, my mind starts to wander and I think of things I should be working on.  Sometimes, I make a list of things that I need to do.  And other times, like right now, I will think deeper thoughts and say more prayers.   It is a blessing to ponder right now.  No matter what is happening in my life, praying is always helpful to me.  And I am very grateful for that.  Amen.

Does anyone ever really like being teased?  Well, first of all, I think it depends on how a person does it.  Then, what is the relationship between the two parties?  What is the tone of the person’s voice?  For example, is it playful, sweet or silly?  Or is it mean-spirited, or sarcastic?

Looking up the definition of this word was shocking to me.  I always thought there would be 2 types of definitions: some positive and others negative.  To the contrary, the definitions I found were mostly negative.  In some other dictionaries however, both were considered as possibilities.  As a student I worked with from China would say, “Aaaa! English!”  I agree.  English is very difficult to learn as a second language.

So, back to the English definition(s) of “tease.”  I prefer to think that both are acceptable.  Teasing has always been considered a way of flirting to some people.  But as I think about it more and more, I can see the many negative aspects of it.  That is a sad thing to me.  Bullies often respond to the ones they are bullying, with negative statements, such as “Can’t you take a joke?  I was only teasing.”  Yeah, right!  Blame the ones you bullied.  It’s all their fault.

The only kind of teasing I can tolerate is the positive kind.  And that can be tricky too.  Actually, I think we could dispense with the word and its definitions entirely, except for the teasing of hair.  That is okay.

It’s a tricky thing to find the right words to express ourselves anymore.  With new slang coming into the vernacular on a continuous basis, our use of them in conversations depends on our age.  The older we become, the less we understand the new vocabulary that constantly changes. Even as I am writing this I am sure new words are being added.  And I fully expect to be exposed to new vocabulary every time I see my grandchildren.  It happens all the time.

But despite the problems, I still am in love with the English language.  Even with all its difficulties considered, it is understood by more people than any other language in the world.  It is used by more than 1.4 billion speakers.  I wonder how many of those use the word tease in their daily lives.  Not too many, I would think.  And that’s okay with me.