I’m sure that most of us are aware that many people, almost everywhere one goes, are in a hurry.  It causes me to think about how to deflect the tension I can feel from those people that I encounter.  Sometimes, the anxiousness that is projected from a person can be understood just by viewing the situation at hand.  And this can provide the opportunity to perhaps do something simple to help. I am talking about small things. One of these things is letting someone go ahead of you in a grocery line.  I do this regularly, since I try to never be in a hurry when shopping. I don’t shop much, but often, I have let more than one person go ahead of me. The look of relief and a smile is more than enough reason to do this.  I love to say, “I’m not in a hurry. Go ahead.”

The place I dread to see this “hurried” behavior the most though, is while driving.  I can “feel” the anger and tension of other drivers in heavy traffic. I avoid this situation as much as I can, but it is impossible to do this all the time.  I will never understand the driver that tails, passes and drives erratically, changing lanes, just to meet you at the next traffic signal. And then, they continue to do this, from light to light, even though it doesn’t do a thing to get them somewhere sooner.

Believe it or not, Neil DeGrasse Tyson wrote a book entitled, Astrophysics for People in a Hurry.  But I fear this is not the publication to deal with this issue.  And, that title or subject matter would likely not attract those individuals either.  Being able to see oneself as others do is a skill few of us have.  When one is in a hurry, the focus is not on others.  Instead it is a journey for one.

Being in a hurry often has a negative impact, both to the one in a hurry and the ones around them.  I say “Relax.” Only hurry when it is necessary. Sometimes it is necessary.  But our culture is stressful enough.  Choosing to slow down and enjoy the times you have now, will make slowing down when you don’t have a choice a much more pleasant place to be.   

Old friends are a gift beyond measure.  The history they share binds them like no other, for shared experiences enrich us all as we get older. Memories are a very important dynamic in the bonds we share with old friends.  Pictures from the past can elicit loud laughter in public places. But whether happy or sad, the experiences from our past can bind us tightly together. We have shared LIFE with these people.  And, that is priceless.  

New friends can be just as cherished and loved and enjoyed.  But there is just something that old friends have that others can not.   That something is history. Not just the history of the friendship, but the times in which we lived and grew up together.  Things that were happening years ago are part of the history that formed the backdrop of our combined stories. These things are embedded into our psyches.  And they enrich the foundation of our relationships.

Old songs are a great example of how familiar melodies are treasured.  Remembered music brings people back to life even after they have fallen into dementia.  One must never underestimate the power of music to evoke memory. This is because a song from the past can help us stay connected to our old friends no matter what happens.  And that is a wonderful thing. 

Recently, grade school classmates of mine began to meet monthly.  And even if our paths had not crossed for a very long time, the relationships were vibrant and full of true affection.  What a marvel to be a part of this experience! We speak of how wonderful it is. Getting older does have benefits that cannot be had when we were young.  The passage of time and life makes us who we are. Old friendships bring the added ingredient of who we were. The combination of these two is a treasure that only old friends can share. And that is a precious gift indeed.

To be kind, one must see the value of the other, regardless of how they present themselves.  Sometimes, being kind is a huge challenge. But it is direly needed for healing in our relationships, our dealings outside of family and friends, and our society as a whole.  Kindness does not only benefit other people, but it benefits ourselves. It is a higher calling and it needs to be heard and acted upon.

If you have been shown kindness, you know what it is like to receive this gift.  For indeed, this is a gift. Every time a person opens his or her heart to another, it is like shining a light on what it means to be fully human.  One cannot deny the good that is exchanged whether giver or receiver in this encounter.

It is so easy to be mean.  It is a knee jerk reaction.  It can be a defense mechanism.  There are so many reasons to be mean if one judges interactions by what is seen.  But meanness, like kindness is inside of a person. Only by communication can one even begin to see the real source of these actions.

I am convinced that if people begin to be kind in simple situations that it would lead to more mindfulness.  And mindfulness is getting in touch with ourselves. It is a way of understanding our own motives in our actions.

I have found myself wanting to become more kind and considerate just because it makes me feel better about myself.  So it is in self interest that we can begin to increase the ways and situations in which we can grow in this action.  For indeed, by being kind, we are really being kind to ourselves as well. It is difficult to feel negative about oneself when one is doing good.  It just has a natural reciprocity.

To be kind is not always easy.  In fact, it can be very difficult to do.  But who said doing good things would not be a challenge ?    Kindness is a worthy pursuit. I will be working extra hard on this task.  It will be just as beneficial for me as to another person. We all are needed to make our world a kinder, more loving place in which to live. Let us dare to be kind.

I will begin with a quote from the BBC Ethics website:

“Lying is giving some information while believing it to be untrue, intending to deceive by doing so.

A lie has three essential features:

• A lie communicates some information.
• The liar intends to deceive or mislead.
• The liar believes that what they are ‘saying’ is not true.”

It is quite clear to me that lying is wrong most of the time.  I say it that way because there are times when telling the truth could cause harm, even death to another person.  But to lie and deceive purposely is wrong especially when one wishes to benefit from the lie. I believe this to be a sin.  It is the benefitting from the lie that makes it so egregious.

In our society today, lying is rampant.  It is terrifying to see the effects of this deception in so many places and to such enormous degrees!  It is something that I have never witnessed to this extent in my lifetime. And it is wounding all of us.  Once truth doesn’t matter, trust is destroyed. Without trust, without truth, we all suffer unnecessary strife.  

I think that it’s time we all stand up for truth.  In doing so, even as just one person, we stand up for all of us.  We need to question the veracity of what we hear and what we read.  We need to question who is to gain from this statement or action. When we are bombarded with lies, we must be strong and not be so worn out by it to stop questioning what is being said and written.

We must question and look for the facts, act like a scientist and mathematician and find the proof.  And we need to be aware of all the opposing mindsets. The quest can not be like-minded people finding their own “proof” that falls in line with the facts as they see them.  We, the people of all points of view coming together to find the truth will succeed. Lying cannot be allowed to win. If that happens, we all lose. And that is not an option. 

I never thought I would be writing about whether one would prefer to text, talk or have a face-to-face conversation.  I would have thought it was an absurd question, to say the least. But, here we are in the 21st century and this is our reality.  What’s more, many people would rather text than talk. And a face-to-face conversation may not even be in the offing for some. How I wish this were not so.

It’s not that I don’t see an advantage in texting.  In fact, it is perfect for many instances where communication can be sent immediately and then the person who receives it can either find the information helpful, or ignore it, if it is not that important to them at that time.  It is especially helpful when is running late, or there is an emergency and one can’t talk.

It has always been my preference to have face-to-face conversations.  I love to see the reactions on people’s faces because that alone is communication in and of itself.  I want to know that the words I am speaking have the connotation I thought they would have on the other person.  If not, more conversation can be added to get the message across as it was intended.

After face-to-face conversation, my second choice is talking on the phone.  You still have inflection and other audial clues as to the feelings behind the words.  You will never get that from texting. So I am asking those who prefer to text all the time, “Why?”  I have never really asked that question in a deliberate way. However, I really would like to know.

I am really asking now.  Why does one prefer to text rather than talk on the phone  or face-to-face? I hope that at least one person will give me an answer.  Please and thank-you to anyone that responds. I wish I could ask you in person, face-to-face.