In the mid-nineties I was taking a shower and I was thinking about my mom.  A melody came to me and the words: “Oh Mama” fit the groove perfectly.  I got out of the shower and began to write down the lyrics.  The finished product was, “Oh Mama, Oh!”  I wrote it for her to tell about what a great mom, grandma and great grandma (which was about to happen) that she was.  I sang it live in a performance at a later time and had the entire audience singing the refrain while my daughter and I sang the verses over the top of the notes they were singing.  They really participated well and It was a tribute to her, (which could be sung to other great moms too).

Growing up, my mom would sing harmony to the songs we sang around the house.  That’s how I learned to do it myself.  We sang a lot of old songs.  Some of them were from the late 30’s and 40’s.  And then we got to songs in the 50’s and after.  We sang show tunes, big band music and standards.  She taught me well and we sounded pretty darn good. 

Since then I have written other “Mama Songs,” so I figured this was the perfect time to write about them since I will be posting this on Mother’s Day.  When my first grandchild had an earache as a small child, I started singing, “My Ear Hurts Mommy” as I was rocking her and trying to soothe her.  Later I wrote: “The Mama Is the Glue”  which has an acapella part moving through the verses like an accompaniment.  It’s a “mother power” type of song about how moms keep it all together no matter what happens in our lives.

Once, when I was baby-sitting my youngest granddaughter, I made up a song entitled: “My Mama Loves Me.”  It is a song in which you can replace the word “mama” with other people your child loves, such as papa, brother, sister and friends.  We sang this song at bedtime and the list of people she loved would go on and on until I had to say, “only one more person!”  And this was after singing several other bedtime songs.  It could have gone on for an hour.  As it was, it usually ended up being 20-30 minutes of singing.  But we both enjoyed this bonding experience very much.

I may have other “Mama” songs that I can’t recall at the moment.  It is the love attachment I have for my mom that has caused me to think so often about writing mama songs.  And since I still have her here with me, I will always be wanting to write another song just for her.  She’s the one who started singing to me all the while I was growing up and it turned out to be the profession I wanted for my livelihood.  She and I still sing together, me at 68 years and she at 93.  But now we do it while sitting in the living room.  And we can still do a little harmony together.  Isn’t that wonderful? 

I think it might be a good idea to create a test to measure our ability to care.  That way, we could delve into the reasons why we behave the way we do and perhaps discover our motivations and values.  It seems to me that this would be an extremely difficult task given that we tend to want to see ourselves in a good light and might not want to admit our flaws.  It is surely possible that it would reveal thought patterns and actions that we would be loath to find out about ourselves.

However, I think it would be good to know these things in order to decide whether we want to continue certain behaviors in our lives, or try to change the things that bother us.  If something troubles a person about their own behavior, then a decision must be made about what one should do about it.  That can be quite tricky because I think most of us want to be seen by others as a good person and may have trouble admitting some of our weaknesses.  Also, changing one’s behavior is very hard to do.

I am intrigued by the idea of creating such a test.  It would take a group of people, both professional and ordinary citizens, to contribute and discuss the questions and possible choices before they could begin to create a testing format.  And then, of course, they would need to develop the medium in which it would be given.  All that said, I think it would be a valuable tool for anyone willing to change any habits that one might see as a problem in their life. 

Everyday, we see more and more tragedy and injustice in our world.  One can become numb to the constant barrage of bad news.  But, if we want to be caring people, we must face these challenges in our own lives and the lives of others to regularly do even one small thing to make a positive change.  We mustn’t forget that even little acts of care and kindness make a difference in our world.  If the desire to care more in one’s life is important, a structured test is not really necessary.  All it takes is for the questions to be asked and answered honestly.  Do we care enough to do it?

With a pandemic in full swing, it would seem logical that being in isolation with the people one lives with would, while uncomfortable at times, would not be cause for overreaction.  But yesterday and today, I found myself falling apart trying to order things from 3 stores for our groceries and other necessary items and trying to pick them up.  I felt the need to do this at the suggestion of our family doctor, that since my husband had just been released from the hospital in an emergency, that we should not go into the stores, but order and pick them up or have them delivered.

It has taken most of the weekend to pick up 2 of the 3 orders that I made on line.  Needless to say, I have been overly distraught over the whole process.  I didn’t even get one of the orders, the largest of the 3, and spent 2 hours going back and forth to that store without receiving my order.  So next time, delivery it is.

It has got me thinking about this isolation and how spoiled I am.  I have been overreacting.  Sure the frustration has been extremely inconvenient.  But, is inconvenience a reason to feel sorry for myself?  No, it is not.  In the scheme of things, I am still extremely fortunate to be able to buy groceries and have a car with gas in it to pick them up.  So far, we are paying all the bills and are comfortable in so many ways.

My discomfort is just that, no more, no less.  And I am most certainly not the only one who is inconvenienced in such a way.  I have everything I need and more.  I have no good reason to complain.  But complain I do, and have done since this whole situation started.

People are dying.  People with the virus and others who care for them have died.  Their lives are over.  And here I am, being inconvenienced and going nuts over it.  I am ashamed of myself.  I only hope that I can remember this and not repeat my selfish reaction.  I vow to do better.  And instead of thinking of myself, I am going to pray more and hope that God forgives me.  Help me Lord to be a better, more selfless person.  Amen.

Fear can be a true enemy.  No matter what ills of society, or tragedy one bears, fear is what causes people to do evil things.  Fear is at the heart of hatred. It causes people to act in many horrible ways. But fear is not born of hate.  It is born because of a lack of love. That is what often causes people to do hateful things.

These are my opinions based on my personal observance of people.  Of course fear originates in the brain as a reaction to a threat or anticipation of danger.  But it can cause people to hate. It can also be a reaction to fears a person has due to feelings of inadequacy.  Bullies are a good example of this.

Strength originates from a place of healthy self- esteem.  If a person thinks well of oneself it produces confidence. Love comes easily to such people.  My father was an excellent example of this. His self-esteem made him a kind, generous person who loved deeply.  He did not believe that people could think negatively about him. That is the power of loving oneself. He was comfortable in his own skin.  He wasn’t negatively affected by fear because of this. 

Fear is not always a bad thing.   It warns us of danger. It can be an omen of something wrong so that we may be more aware of the signs that something bad could happen.  An article in Smithsonian Magazine by Arash Javanbakht and Linda Saab, state:  

“Thinking about the circuitry of the brain and human psychology, some of the main chemicals that contribute to the “fight or flight” response are also involved in other positive emotional states, such as happiness and excitement. So, it makes sense that the high arousal state we experience during a scare may also be experienced in a more positive light.”  However fear’s negative side is the cause of so much that is wrong in the world.

The reason I think of fear as an enemy, is that it is easier to understand people’s actions when they do terrible things.  Understanding the reasons we fear different things uncovers the motivation of our actions. My greatest desire is that we each can determine the reasons that we fear different things in our lives.  Then, we will be able to learn to love more freely, without fear, and that fear may become only a sign of danger in the natural world and not of one another.

Today is Easter for Christians everywhere.  But for all of us, there can be a resurrection, whether or not one believes in Christ.  This is because resurrection can be seen as a rebirth. And all people can experience rebirth in many different ways.  

At the present time, the world is experiencing a collective death of our former lives.  As recently as a couple of months ago, life was proceeding much as usual throughout the world.  And then, a life-threatening disease presented itself and began to spread from continent to continent. A pandemic developed quickly and the death toll has spread exponentially.

Time will tell how many people will be affected by this horrifying threat.  It can be a catalyst for change that makes us better people or one that causes more dangerous behavior and more destruction of innocent lives.

Decisions are being made by leaders in different countries as the citizens await the instructions of their governments.  As always, the wealthiest and most powerful people will call the shots and the populations will either survive the disaster or perish as a result of their action or inaction.

Whatever transpires, the least powerful people will be affected the most.  And everyone will either suffer or endure as a consequence of their decisions.  Just as a forest can be destroyed by fire, a population of people can be eradicated by disease.  This is not the first time that this has happened. We have seen these outcomes in history.

What we need more than ever is a rebirth of compassion and empathy for those who will be affected the most by those critical decisions of our leaders.  This rebirth, this resurrection of love for our fellow travelers is what will determine the fate of humanity. We can only hope and pray that they make the best decisions for us all.  Our lives are in their hands