In my opinion, lying is one of the worst things a person can do.  Trust is unattainable when people lie to each other.  A lie between friends can kill the relationship.  Moreover, lying can ruin reputations, and can even break up entire families.

What I will never understand is the desire to deceive in the first place.  It seems to me that guilt would be a powerful deterrent to the person who lies.  But maybe people who can’t seem to tell the truth have been lied to while growing up.  And some people may engage in this deception for personal gain.

One thing is certain.  Lies have the power to do great harm.  Successful personal relationships require trust.  Telling the truth should be a given.  But within our work or school situations and especially the families we belong to, the foundations for truth-telling are learned.  This is where it begins.  Good character traits must be modeled and nurtured.

What a terrible disadvantage it must be, to grow up in a family where one cannot count on the adults to tell the truth.  We learn a value system within our families.  If lying is an acceptable thing to do, a child will often follow the example of the adults around them.

Being raised in this way is, in effect, teaching a child to be wary of others.  If one tells lies, then others may be lying to you. Or perhaps, a particular person can be seen as an ally in the quest to deceive for mutual gain.  Perhaps as partners in crime?

No matter how or why it happens, lying hurts both the perpetrator and the one to whom the lie is being told.  The one who has been lied to, feels betrayal.  The liar is deprived of true relationships with others. That alone is more than enough reason to tell the truth.

Does everyone have dreams?  I often wonder if there are people who never dream.  Upon writing these questions, I decided that research was in order.  I seem to dream every night.  And, guess what I found?  

“Adults and babies alike dream for around two hours per night—even if they don’t remember it upon waking. In fact, researchers have found that people usually have several dreams each night, each one typically lasting for between five to 20 minutes.”  National Institute of Neurological Disorders. Brain basics: Understanding sleep.

 As for me, sometimes when I get up to go to the bathroom and get back into bed, I can slip right back into where it left off.  However I rarely remember them after I awake.  But when it’s a horrible one I can be emotional and carry the feeling with me long after I awake.

The ones I treasure are those with my loved ones who have passed on from this life.  Often they are wordless, but they are communicated through thoughts and feelings between us.  Afterward, I wake up feeling the love that stays with me always.  They are treasured gifts to be opened up again and again and remembered.

My husband once had a dream as a kid where someone was fighting with him and he kicked the wall.  And then there are recurring dreams.  Other ones can be like puzzles that can’t be solved.

I know that there are people who are good at analyzing dreams.  And there are special groups where people discuss them.  I have dreams that I don’t want to wake up from.  But then, when I do remember them they just don’t always make any sense to me. 

It all reminds me of the song by the Everly Brothers:  “All I Have To Do Is Dream.”  I love that song.  And all I have to say for myself is that I look forward to dreaming.  Mine are mostly pleasant, but mainly, they are just so darn interesting!

There is a feeling of worth in being included.  When a person is asked to be a part of a group, it can be empowering.  This is especially true when one is a stranger and is acknowledged by people and welcomed into the fold of a community.

In contrast, never being included has the opposite effect.  When a child is a new student in a school, not being included can be devastating.  However, if a conscious effort is made to make that student feel welcome, that student can relax and make new friends.

There are some schools that have “buddy benches” on the playground, where new students can sit and other students can join them to make them feel welcome.  What a fabulous idea!

But it is also important to remember that a new member of a group of any kind can be difficult for many people.  It depends on one’s personality and their ability to connect.  Shy people can find it difficult to join in especially if they are not being invited or in some way acknowledged first.

I used to be shy and I would never have voluntarily joined a group that did not invite my presence.  In fact, I may even have avoided contact with a group for fear of being rejected.  Not so today, I am happy to say.  But it can be horrible for a person who is not welcomed.

In my church, they are especially friendly.  However, occasionally I notice someone whom I have never seen at the service I attend, sit alone and I always approach them.  Welcoming a person into the fold is a powerful thing.  Even if they are just visiting or passing through our city, being included for just a little while can have a positive effect.

I have been thinking about the word “trust” lately.  Being able to trust your family and friends is important.  It is both humbling to be considered trustworthy and a responsibility to be that for another person.

I am fortunate to have people that trust me and those whom I can trust in my life.  For many people this is not so.  And I cannot imagine what it must feel like to be betrayed by someone close to you.  But it happens and causes much pain and heartache.  Sometimes, when trust has been broken, it cannot be repaired.

I have read many stories about the Holocaust and the situations people were put into where lives depended upon the trust of loved ones and friends.  Some people were faced with making decisions that could cost the lives of others, no matter what they did.  Some of them betrayed their neighbors and friends to save themselves.  Others sacrificed themselves to save their families and friends.  No matter what one did in that situation, people suffered and died.

Hopefully this decision will never be asked of me.  But trust is a word that holds much responsibility in many different ways regardless of the circumstances.  It can be the essence of bravery and love of one’s fellow man, woman and child.  Without this framework of love, concern and respect for others, we are like animals in the wilderness competing for food and shelter.

Lack of trust in one’s life must be a horrible existence, for we need each other, whether we like it or not.  But trust begins in each one of us.  It starts with being able to trust oneself.  For if we can’t trust ourselves, how can we even begin to trust others?  Trust is the essence of being reliable, truthful and faithful in any close relationship.  It is the glue that holds our lives together in love and respect for one another.  That’s trust.  I, for one, would never want to live without it.

There is a deck of cards, made by Roger von Oech, called the “Creative Whack Pack.”  My husband bought it years ago, and I ran across it the other day.  I couldn’t remember much about it and so I decided to rediscover it.  There are 64 cards, each one having a strategy to generate new ideas, help with decision-making and basically give you a “whack” in the head to see what you are doing in a fresh way.

There are 4 different headings on the cards, each representing a  type of thinking in the creative process.  There are 16 cards in each suit. These 4 suits are: Explorer, Artist, Judge and Warrior.  

The Explorer is the role you take to create new ideas.  The Artist is the role for transforming your resources into new ideas. The Judge is for evaluating your idea and making a decision about where you want to go with it.  And finally, The Warrior is the role for its implementation.

There are a myriad of ways to utilize this deck of cards and many are discussed in the little booklet found inside the box.  Ways of brainstorming in a group, playing a game at a meeting or at home, or other techniques for creative thinking.

Shuffling, dealing the cards and picking the cards at random all provide unique methods for individual or group usage.  It is truly a tool for creating ideas for many different people, in workplaces, schools and just for fun.

Having re-discovered this special deck of cards on my bookshelf, I have decided to explore the cards and find ways I might like to use them.  Just the act of reading them alone, will perhaps help to jump-start some ideas I have been carrying around with me.  It may just prove to be the “whack” I need to bring some ideas to fruition.  At least it’s worth a try.  Wish me luck!  I think this is going to be fun!