There is tremendous power in being positive. There is also tremendous power in being negative.  Everyday, each of us has an opportunity to choose the lens we use to see our lives and the world around us.  

Sometimes, this will be difficult to remember when one is having a bad day or especially when going through traumatic times.  But everyday we have the opportunity to decide what is important to us.  And that starts with our attitude.  

I have found that if I wake up and am thankful for another day, that gratitude can only initiate a positive reaction.  Gratitude is a powerful indicator of how you approach the day ahead.

Life is unpredictable, but we have the ability to face difficult challenges if we choose a positive lens.  It may sound simplistic,  but really, attitude is everything.  And if one can keep a positive attitude, it leads to a more satisfying life.

As with most things in life, it is easier said than done.  However, as an aging Pollyanna, I have found that bad days come to everyone and being positive is one thing a person can do to counteract the negative at any moment.  Sometimes it will work, and other times, it won’t.  But letting oneself sink without trying to see a better outlook, is self-defeating.  And there is no one to blame but you if that happens.

One of the best things a person can do is have a positive person in their life that one can call upon in times like these.  It can be a trusted relative or friend.  Often, there are support groups for different situations, such as grief groups.  But doing something positive is always a good idea.  It may not always help, but it doesn’t hurt to try.

The great thing about being positive is that it doesn’t cost money and there are no negative side effects.  All it takes is effort on your part.  And there are always new possibilities that could come to fruition.  If one does nothing else, just put a smile on your face and walk out the door.  You have nothing to lose!

In my opinion, being rude is totally unacceptable behavior.  Rudeness comes from a lack of respect for others.  It is mean-spirited and serves no good purpose. The fact that this behavior is accepted and even applauded sometimes, is a shameful thing.  

When I was growing up, I never heard adults use profanity.  I know that some people must have done so, but it was definitely not okay, nor was it prevalent in my life.  Now, it is commonly used by young people and not a thought is given to it.  

Profanity is excessively used by teenagers in public high schools.  It exhibits a dreadful lack of vocabulary as it is thrown around in the halls as the classes change.

I remember, while I was working in public high schools, that the “f” word was attached to almost every sentence that was spoken by some of the students as they changed classes.  Since I changed classes with students, I was exposed to many snippets of their conversations in the hall.  One day I counted the times I heard this word while moving from class to class with my student.  The total added up to 50.  This, in the few minutes between classes.

That word was so prevalent as to render it meaningless to those who used profanity.  That was not true all the time, of course.  When it was used in anger, it meant something.  But it was insignificant to those who used it in daily conversation.

Being rude and using profanity exhibits disrespect to others and oneself.  Adults need to exhibit acceptable behavior and talk to kids about it from an early age.  Only then, can we  expect to see positive change.  The alternative will only encourage the acceptability of being rude and disrespectful.  And that can only create more disturbing behavior in the future.

Sometimes, the passage of time can seem to be cruel.  As my memory problems seem to increase daily, I find myself questioning so many of the things I am doing.  For instance, the forgetting of why I was going somewhere in my house and what I was going to do once I got there.  I know that it happens to most of us, as we age.  And this has been a memory issue for me for quite a long time.  But the frequency of this behavior has increased exponentially!

When I am in a conversation, I will stop mid-sentence because I forgot where I was going with it.  Increasingly, names of people are disappearing.  And I used to have such a great memory for names.  I mourn this like a death.  And indeed, it is a kind of death.  I grieve its absence.

In spite of the fact that my friends and family put up with these behaviors, I am so embarrassed when it happens.  I look at photographs from the past and can’t remember so many of the people we knew when we lived in a different state.  And the people I live around and know now are in the same category, which is worse.

Song lyrics are disappearing.  And this is a problem for me because I am a singer.  I used to be able to sing so many songs by heart.  And now I have to look up the words.  But, at least now I can ask my phone and they magically appear before my eyes.  

Writing is less of an issue because I can look almost anything up on the internet and find many answers to my queries.  Spell check takes care of any spelling errors.  All of those things are good news.   

I have decided that the only thing I can do to mitigate these issues is to be more grateful for the many things I still can do.  After all, memory is a gift and I have been blessed with a wonderful one for many years.  It has enriched my life in so many ways.  It’s good to remember that being grateful always helps, no matter what happens in our lives.

Have you noticed that since the term, “alternative facts,” was first introduced, that everything started to change in the way news has been covered (or colored, perhaps?)  Fact-checking has become something less important to many people.  People just want to listen to the news they want to hear, regardless of its veracity.  And they search for “sources” that agree with what they already believe to be true.

The worst part of this is what it does to our culture.  It creates more antagonism between religions, political parties, races and ethnicities and especially the way people treat each other on a daily basis.  Propaganda has always been around as have competing ideologies.  But today, there seems to be a scarcity of people trying to seek common ground and search for the facts together.

It is a scary thing that having a conversation with people we know means that we have to choose our topics so carefully as to avoid possible or even suspected differences of opinion.  Or, we must only talk to those with whom we know are like-minded.  Strong opinions can be emotional triggers.  Anger is a very strong deterrent to any peaceful, constructive conversations.  And so, if one doesn’t feel comfortable with conflict, fear can shut down the possibility of important conversations dealing with what is happening around us.

I have become a person that refers to different sources of fact-checking in order to find out how I really feel about what is happening in the present.  I want to know that the facts are as true as possible, and not just a colored opinion of what happened or is happening on a daily basis.  One can agree or disagree about something that happened, but the proof of what happened at that event in the specific place and time should be an unbiased source.  Otherwise, we are all stuck in a place where important conversations are nothing more than conflicting opinions.  Real, honest communication requires truthfulness.  And maybe ground rules need to be established before these conversations can even begin.

All I know for sure, is that I am hoping that more of us can begin to find common ground and have open conversations that will lead to a better understanding of each other.  Then, the possibility of some agreement and compromise can be the way we interact with others.  And that would be a very good thing indeed.

If you have never played Pictionary, an explanation is necessary.  It is a game in which 2-person teams compete to see how many words can be guessed by using only a picture.  Each team has cards with categories and there is a game board and dice. The main idea is just to get your teammate to say the word from the picture you draw.

One New Year’s Eve, we had a party and played this game.  It was hilarious.  My dad and my husband got chosen as partners.  Now we never played board games when I was growing up, and we had not had the experience of sitting down to play anything but cards.

My dad was a masonry contractor and had been a bricklayer before that.  My husband had worked on job sites and been a laborer.  So, when the words “hard hat” came up on the playing card that my husband drew from the pile, he drew a person with a hat on and a brick above it ready to fall.  My dad, of course, knew it immediately.  Because both of them had experience in construction, it turned out to be an asset.

I had been slightly concerned that my dad wouldn’t enjoy the game.  But I should have known better.  My dad was such a happy man, he would have rolled with punches and enjoyed himself regardless of what happened.  I was always concerned about everyone in a group being able to enjoy themselves.  But I needn’t have given a second thought about my dad.

It’s funny, but I realize that one of the reasons my dad was so fun to be with, was because he looked at things in a concrete way.  He never suspected negative emotions or attitudes from the people around him.  This was a wonderful thing, because he always looked at the bright side of everything that happened.  He could find it effortlessly and I marveled at this trait he possessed.  Because of this, his stable personality made him a joy to be with because there was no innuendo.  Things were clear and concrete, not abstract or untouchable.  What fun we had!  It was just like always, a real, solid, good time.