I have had periods in my life when I walked a lot.  In fact, for years I used to walk daily, in my house.  The reason I walked inside was that the weather was not a factor and I could do it easily without having to think about what I would wear in public, or spend time and money going to a gym.  I would get up at 4am, put on old, comfortable clothes, along with my athletic shoes and go into my kitchen where there we had a rectangular table.  There I would begin to warm up by casually walking around the table.  I would pick up the pace and go clockwise for a while, and then turn around and go the other way.  Occasionally, I would go into my living room and circle the  chest in the middle of the room.  I would increase the pace until I felt I was sufficiently warmed up.  Then, after a while I would jog up and down the stairway leading to the second floor, before returning to the kitchen.

As I ponder this, it becomes increasingly clear why I was able to have so much energy during the entire day.  Then, one day when I was at work I started to get sharp pain in the toes of my left foot.  I went to a podiatrist and found out I had hammertoes.  Even though I knew they existed, I never knew what they were.  So I was told that the only way to completely alleviate the problem was to have surgery.  Since we had good insurance, that’s what I did.

Now comes the sad part.  I had to stay off of my feet for a couple of weeks I think.  Since I had the vacation time, that’s exactly what I did.  My mom wanted me to stay at her house so she would be able to take care of me and I wouldn’t have to get up except to go to the bathroom.  So, of course, that’s what I did.  Without having any particular thing to do or think about, I read and watched TV.  A few friends came over and brought me candy and other snacks.  I resisted for a while, and then started to eat them.  And I wanted to eat them.  My mind told me to stop but my desire for the sweet and salty things grew.

When I went home and then back to work, I still wore a boot and walked, but only as much as I needed to do.  I worked with a student all day and I went to classes with her, but that was all the walking I did.  Even after I no longer needed the boot, I had lost my drive to exercise.  I was mad at myself, but I had developed a taste for foods I shouldn’t have and I no longer had the discipline to exercise like I had before my surgery.

It’s been years since that happened. I got back into it, but not like before.  Now, I am back to purposefully walking again, but I still feel mad at myself for giving in to eating junk food and not walking every morning as I had done in the past.  It took me a lot longer to get back into doing something I loved.  But I learned something from the experience.  Now, I talk to myself and encourage myself to keep on going even when I want to stop.  And I consciously and doggedly remember that I am the one who makes the decisions in my life.  

I think that in our consumer society, we often forget that accumulating stuff can really be a burden.  I have never been a collector.  And that is not a judgment on those that do collect.  That has an important purpose for many people.  It just doesn’t for me.  Except photos, but then again I feel that I need them to pass on to the next generation.  One does not need the amount of photos I have, but how to decide which ones to get rid of can be impossible.  This is the conundrum.  

But if one thinks in non-material ways, there are some needs I was thinking about that can and do make a significant difference in our lives.  In my opinion, we need people in our lives that support us emotionally and physically.  Family can provide these needs, but it is not a given.  Good friends are of immeasurable value in one’s life.  But they must be close friends to help you in times of sadness, despair and also to share one’s joy.  We need people to support us in difficult situations and to share our happiness.  

In contrast to these needs, there are wants.  And not all wants are created equal.  We all have needs.  The basic ones are food, clothing and shelter.  Beyond that, we may need skills to get a job, and counseling to get through the challenging times in our lives.  But wants are different in significant ways.

Wanting a new car, for example, is not a need.  Wanting a vehicle to get to work may be a need, if it is essential or a requirement for a job. A person that doesn’t need a vehicle in their job, might need to find another way to get to work, such as a bus, a train or even a family member or a friend.  I am not trying to say that these wants aren’t important, or that they are frivolous.  It’s just that a person can find ways to do things that solve a problem creatively, if the need is there.  That is being resourceful.

I remember quite clearly, early in my marriage, learning the real differences between wants and needs.  I already knew the concept and had a clear knowledge of the difference between them.  Making those practical decisions was something I learned quickly because of my upbringing.  We always had more than enough but I easily understood that we were blessed with more than we needed.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t want things.  I was just gifted with parents who taught by example.  Unfortunately, this is not true for everyone.  But,  my point is that this is not something everyone grows up learning.  And maybe this should be taught in schools, so that children don’t grow up feeling that they need so many things in their lives to be happy.

Beyond the material things, what people need the most is to be cared for and loved.  And if you have that in your life you are rich indeed.  The worst thing, in this material world, is not being poor.  It is not being loved.  What everyone needs is caring people in their lives.  Without that, we are poor indeed.  Want what you need.  Beyond food, clothing and shelter, we also need love.  And that is the most important thing of all.

Having just spent time in Sicily, I learned about how Sicilians react to, and with strangers.  My maternal grandparents, having immigrated to the United States in 1918, were the main reason I wanted to go there.  My experiences with my grandparents were so warm and loving that I guess I expected people to be more friendly, even though the personal interactions with one’s family do not indicate anything of the kind.

And so, knowing very few words in Sicilian, I greeted people I passed on the street with “Bon jorno.”  Many people didn’t even look at me.  Some gave me blank looks and every so often I would receive a “Bon jorno” in return.  I forgot that it meant “Good morning” and so I said it all day long.  With my memory as it is, it could have been worse.  I was blissfully unaware of what I was doing, other than trying to be friendly.  I tried to make eye contact with people as we walked all over the towns where we stayed.  The B&B owners were friendly, wonderful people.  But they said to me that Sicilians were not very friendly when I told them about my experiences.

Despite that, I decided that I would continue to smile and speak to people as we walked everywhere.  Mostly, people just wouldn’t respond at all.  Once in a while, I would catch a person’s eye and they would react in 1 of 3 ways. They would ignore me, or look startled and keep walking, or they would actually look at me.  Now if someone really looked at me, they might actually frown.  But the exciting response was when a person would make real eye contact, smile and return the greeting.

It was my mission to interact with everyone I came into contact with, even though I knew I wouldn’t be successful most of the time.  And it was worth it to receive those smiles.The more I did this, the more smiles I received.  And when people quickly walked away from me, it made me laugh.  I came across many more smiles and interactions as time went on.  In all of my experiences with people there, I learned something.  From the beginning that was my goal.  Mission accomplished!

I have come to believe that having paper and pencil at my bedside is now a necessity in my life.  That is, If I want to be free of the horrible self-recrimination that happens because I didn’t write something down exactly when I remembered it, before dropping off into deep slumber.  I never remember things in the morning like I was able to do in the past.  

You know that feeling when you are just ready to drop off and you think of something that you need to remember?  That instant, for me, is my mind trying to warn me that I don’t have the memory I used to take for granted in the past.  And I know I need to write it down, but if there isn’t a piece of paper and pencil right there within reach, I will talk myself out of getting out of bed.  And in an instant, I will succumb to the drooping eyelids and fledgling dreams that climb into my subconscious as soon as my head hits the pillow!  (It drove my mother crazy that I could fall asleep that fast!) Turns out, this now has a downside for me.

Now I realize that many people would just pop this info into their phones in this situation.  And my phone is right there being charged.  But, that is just not how I am wired.  I am a pencil and paper person.  And there is a school of thought, with lots of evidence, that writing something down on paper is a better memory tool than typing it into a cell phone, tablet, or computer.  And as for the pencil, I don’t like to cross out my mistakes.  So, that’s the whole picture.

I know that if you are reading this, you are probably in, or close to my generation.  So this will make perfect sense to you.  And I sincerely hope that you are not experiencing this issue in your life.  But if you are having these problems, just know that you are not alone.  That always makes me feel a little bit better.  If so I hope it does that for you too!

Isn’t it wonderful when you unexpectedly see a friend that you were thinking of, and they had been thinking of you?

And isn’t it crazy when you were just hoping for something to happen, and it happens?

Isn’t it kismet when you just happen to be at the right place at the right time?

And isn’t it sad when you don’t get the chance to be there for someone you love?

Isn’t it amazing when two people come to the same conclusions and everyone else feels differently?

And isn’t it strange when you feel that you know someone you never met before, and then find out that they were feeling the very same way?

Isn’t it infuriating to see another person being mistreated and you can’t do anything about it?

And isn’t it invigorating when you find yourself on the right path and other people support and encourage your endeavors and want you to succeed?

Isn’t it devastating to find that another person lied about you or someone you love, and you can’t do anything that will fix the situation?

And isn’t it gratifying when another person is always your cheerleader, no matter what happens?

Isn’t it a blessing to have people in your life that you love and they love you  too?

And isn’t it encouraging to be a friend and have a friend in which supporting each other is a given?

Isn’t it enlightening to realize all these things?

And isn’t it empowering to believe in a loving God and see the evidence of that love in your life?

That love is a gift worth living for, and giving to each other?

And isn’t it true that gratitude is the attitude that’s best for one another?

Isn’t it possible that all of these feelings affect the things we do?  

That each of us does play a part in the lives of me and you?

Well, I do.  Do you?