Anger is a sign of an emotion.  We can feel anger because someone doesn’t agree with us.  We can be angry because we feel we have been misinterpreted or misjudged.  We can be angry because we’ve been mistreated.  Anger reveals itself in many ways.  But the strength of each instance of anger is in the depth of emotion that causes a person to feel in this particular way.  The size and scope  of that emotion is exhibited in the fact that there are 140 synonyms for this word in Merriam-Webster’s Thesaurus.

Which brings me to the fact that not only is it a sign, but determining what it means can involve some detective work.  Each person has a unique point of view, based on their individual life experience.  Just the realization that anger is a sign of something, does not mean that we will come to the right conclusion when we interpret it.

In trying to find the answer, the most important thing in my opinion, is having a non-confrontational dialogue with the person you want to understand.  Then it’s possible to pinpoint what is wrong.  Even anger that appears unjustified must be examined to be able to resolve conflict when it arises.

Patience is key to understanding strong emotions.  And even then, it can be difficult to find the cause of this feeling.  That’s why individual counseling may be necessary to plumb the underlying  reason.  In dealing with those we are not close to emotionally, someone who deals specifically with anger management may be needed.

The most important people, friends and family, can be easier or more difficult to comprehend.  And they are the ones we most want and need to understand the most.

In all cases, understanding the particular reason and motivation behind anger will always be a valuable tool in our most significant relationships.  Recognizing that it is a sign is just the first step.