My father died 28 years ago and left a big hole in in his place. But I feel that he has lived on, in my heart, for all that time. I can say he was larger than life because of his big heart and a strong, confident, positive personality. He had a construction company and worked hard physically. But he was also a fair, kind and friendly man.
He had a strong sense of who he was and was so comfortable in his own skin. He wasn’t in the least bit conceited. Most of all, he loved my mother passionately. And his children, my brother and I, were lights in his life. He was the most optimistic man I have ever known and family meant everything to him.
The things I remember and treasure so much were the fact that he was courageous enough to show his emotions and not be embarrassed. He cried at funerals of those he loved deeply. And he was not afraid to apologise when he felt he had done something wrong. That’s true strength. I remember him apologising to me when I was a kid because he yelled at me and later thought better of it. I could never be attracted to “bad boys.” I knew what integrity looked like and what it felt like to be respected.
He was the happiest man I have ever known. And he is missed so much more than words can express. At my wedding he danced with all my girlfriends and they couldn’t believe how easy it was to be led by him. He always had a smile on his face. I know that he must have felt angry or disappointed at times in his life, but I don’t remember it.
When my son died, 6 years after his death, I saw them together looking down at me with their arms around each other’s shoulders. I felt comforted by the fact that my dad was there to greet him. They looked at me as if to say “Don’t worry. It’s okay. We are fine.” He made Seth’s passing so much easier for me. I grieved my son’s death so deeply. But dad was there to soften the blow. My son considered him his best friend. He had said of dad, “You never have to worry about what kind of mood Grandpa will be in.”
He loved being a grandpa to my daughter and son. He did some of the same fun things he had done with my brother and I and relished the time he spent with us and them. And whenever I needed to talk, or was unsure about something I wanted to do, I’d call him up and he’d say, “Let’s go to lunch.” I would say, “Dad, you don’t have to take me to lunch.” And then he would say, “Well, you gotta eat!” So, we would go to lunch and he would turn my doubts and fears into confident decisions. He’d always say ”There’s no time like the present!”
His faith was important to him and he was so proud of me when I sang in church. He was always so proud of and encouraging to my brother and me, whatever we chose to do. He was grateful for all the good in his life. He was confident with his own decisions and accepted the consequences when things didn’t turn out as planned. I have never met anyone quite like him.
On Father’s Day, I especially think of how blessed I was to have had him as my dad. I thank God for him and my dear mother who will be 94 soon. I know that someday we will all see each other again. And the blessings of his presence in spirit, continue here as a legacy of his love, because love never dies. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.