There are substantial written sources that extol the benefits of touch in human interaction. However, upon thinking about this topic, the absence of touch struck me as perhaps a more significant area to study. I googled “the absence of touch,” and a slew of articles popped up.

Upon first sight, I was edified just by the titles of these sources and the ramifications of this phenomenon.  I was struck by the term,”skin hunger,”that appeared on the first page of articles. “What an thought-provoking phrase,” I said to myself. I decided to read the article. Also known as “touch hunger, ”lack of  platonic touch causes a myriad of problems that are not just physical, but also psychological, and emotional.”

In “Born for Love ,” Maia Szalavitz wrote “…  babies who are not held, nuzzled and hugged enough, will literally stop growing and – if the situation lasts long enough, even if they are receiving proper nutrition, die.”   We literally need touch in order to survive.

Especially, with regard to men, platonic touch is a minefield in which distrust is rampant and fear of judgement abounds.  How can a boy learn appropriate behavior when our culture shows us that most of the acceptable touch between males is often gotten through rough housing, or in sports.  Without appropriate modeling by the men in their lives, healthy, gentle touch cannot be easily learned. Touch has become so inappropriately attached to sexual motives, that often, even boys who would like to innocently reach out to someone for purely supportive reasons, can be negatively affected by the sexual shaming attached to touch.  The consequences of these societal influences are far-reaching and contribute to feelings of isolation. If gentle touch is out of bounds, where does this lead us?

In Psychology Today, Kory Floyd Ph.D. stated,“Loneliness among American adults has increased 16 percent in the last decade”  People living alone has increased dramatically, and the opportunity for gentle caring touch is so limited that  people can die in their own homes without being discovered for days, even weeks. In the elderly population, the sense of isolation has caused extreme depression.  My own experience as a performer in nursing homes has been that when I have reached out to a resident to shake their hand, I have had to finally break away after a time in order to reach out to others waiting their turn.The resident simply does not want to let go, and they hungrily cling to the touch of someone’s hand.  It goes without saying that those living in loneliness are not being touched enough, if at all.

I have not included all the many ways that lack of touch presents itself.  It would be impossible to do this in a blog. Until I began to read about this subject, I was unaware of the severity of this issue.  I am reminded of the lyrics in a Diana Ross hit, “Reach out and Touch Somebody’s Hand. Make this world a better place, if you can.” I think that we can and should look for opportunities to do this in our daily lives. How about you?