“You’ve got to get it out of your system,” said my mom whenever I was stressed and upset, or sad and conflicted.  When I would come to her with worries or sadness or confusion, or anything really, she would just sit and listen to me.  She didn’t offer advice or tell me what to do, or tell me that I was in some way wrong about the way I was feeling.  And that was exactly what I needed.

Getting something out of one’s system can be treacherous if there isn’t anyone to just listen.  If all those feelings stay stuck inside, there is no relief.  It has to come out or one’s emotions can explode inside a person.  It can cause mental and even physical reactions that can be harmful. That’s one of the reasons why people go to counselors and psychiatrists.

But just having someone listen, without judgment, is therapeutic.  And I have to say, it can almost feel miraculous.  I have gone to counselors many times in my life and it has always helped me figure things out for myself.  That’s what can happen with good counseling.  But not all counselors are created equal.  You have to be a good consumer, even with, perhaps especially with, help for one’s emotional needs. 

I have been an advocate for getting good counseling when one needs it, for years.  There is nothing wrong with seeking help for emotional stress.  In fact, it is one of the healthiest things to do.  Mental strength comes from the perspective that everyone needs help sometimes.  If a person goes to the doctor for medical help, without judgment, why do people feel the need to judge others that have mental concerns?  I believe that this negative point of view comes from a fear of being judged.

So, I have decided that getting something negative out of one’s system is a logical thing to do.  It is no different than seeking help for a medical issue.  This is because “getting something out of one’s system” is a very positive, healthy thing to do.  Mom was most definitely right!