A Burden of Love
Upon hearing the word “burden,” what does it mean to you? One tends to think of burdens in a totally negative way. But this does not need to be so. There are many definitions and ways to perceive our burdens.
When one has children, as babies, we carry them around and they become heavy, a load so to speak. That is a burden, by definition, as one of the many meanings of this word. Another synonym is responsibility. That is just part of taking care of one’s family and being a responsible adult. Whether this is a burden or not has to do with the attitude of the adult(s) who have this responsibility.
I will never forget the time when my mother had to move to my brother’s house after a serious fall. After that happened she could not have stayed at home. She would not have been able to maneuver her walker into the bathroom because of the way the cabinets were designed there. We were going to be with her either way, but couldn’t ensure her safety there. She wanted to be independent at home, but it just wasn’t a good idea. After being in the hospital for 10 days over Christmas, she moved into his home which was a large ranch and she could walk easily anywhere she chose. My sister-in-law had the room ready for her before she left the hospital.
After we moved her in, a service was provided that brought an occupational therapist, a physical therapist and their supervisor for rehabilitation. As the supervisor was talking to her, my mom said, “I just don’t want to be a burden.” To which the woman replied, something like, “Of course we are all burdens to our families in one way or another.” I think she was trying to say that it was just part of life and that it was my brother’s and my responsibility to take care of her now. And we were so very happy that we could be there for her. It gave me a different perspective to this word I had never thought about before. My brother, sister-in-law and I never even considered the fact that she could be a burden at all. We were happy to be able to be there for her as she had always been for us.
The fact is, that there are different kinds of burdens, both negative and positive. It all has to do with the attitude and perception each individual has about each one. If caring for my mother was to be called a burden, then the only way to describe it would be a burden of love. And that is a burden I gladly bear for those whom I love, especially for my mother who bore me into this world.