Belonging is the first experience of human beings.  Even at birth, a child belongs to his or her mother.  It is the first and most essential part of entering the world.  Children, in the first moments of life are inextricably connected to their mother’s womb by the umbilical cord. This is true, as nature intended.

Whatever happens next, is the essential part of belonging that carries us through life.  If our mother dies in childbirth, or is separated from us early in life, it is vitally important to bond with another human being who will love and guide us.  That is the very first encounter in a newborn’s life and it can influence the baby’s ability to connect with other people as he or she grows up.

If children do not receive this attention naturally with their parents, another person must be there to step in and satisfy the innate, deep need for belonging.  It is one of the reasons that mother’s are encouraged to have skin to skin contact bonding directly after birth.  In addition to the emotional benefits, there are many physical advantages as well.

Some of these according to Sanford Health are, just for baby:

• Better able to absorb and digest nutrients
• Better body temperature maintenance
• Cries less often
• Demonstrate improved weight gain
• Experience more stable heartbeat and breathing
• Higher blood oxygen levels
• Long-term benefits, such as improved brain development and function as well as parental attachment
• More successful at breastfeeding immediately after birth
• Spend increased time in the very important deep sleep and quiet alert states
• Thermoregulation
• Stronger immune systems

And the bonding benefits for mothers are equally important.  These are significant factors that illustrate the magnitude of belonging from the beginning of life.  If we do not have this bonding in the earliest part of our existence, then the experience of belonging is thwarted.  

There are many negative consequences to a person feeling like they do not belong.  That is why I believe it is a worthy goal of society to provide as many opportunities for others that do not have this sense of belonging in their lives to connect with others.  Feeling like you don’t belong is a lonely existence.  I believe it is important to be welcoming to other people.  It can make a difference to people who do not feel that they belong.  And I believe that is reason enough to do it, because like it or not, we are all in this together.